A Little Late: Reflections on 2011
This traditional entry of mine is a little late, as was my first new year's kiss with the man I love. Frantically trying to make it to the ball drop across the way from our hotel in Grand Rapids, we missed the countdown and ended up kissing on the sidewalk while people rushed past trying to beat the crowds. But it was such a real life moment, so far from any fairytale or romantic comedy scene, and I think I cherish it more because of that. We're real-life, running-late people in love, and the utter unglamorousness of the whole thing makes me feel that our relationship is genuine. The kiss is one of those moments that definitely won't make it into the movie montage of our time together, but rather the blooper reel - and I value the blooper reel just the same.
Anyway, on to the meat: Subject lines and commentary about the first entry of each month of 2011,
January: Speaking of coming full circle.
http://quixoticjade.livejournal.com/tag/coming%20full%20circle
I like that I notice recurring themes in my life. On a potentially unrelated side note, I have also noticed that the relationship advice I give most often is, "Make sure you take a step back and look at your relationship from an outside perspective." I think these kinds of reflective behaviors help me/all of us to learn from our past selves and experiences to be the best people we can be and make the best decisions for our lives.
February: I used to never remember my dreams.
I hope I never again have such a stressful time in my life as when I was biting my nails about med school. What made it worse was that I was out of school and had nothing to keep me busy - I got enough sleep so I could never reach that blissful dreamless exhausted state. Lessons learned: (a) Don't sell yourself short and be so insecure that it stops you from turning things in on time, and (b) don't schedule a semester of free time while you're playing the waiting game.
March: This is the reason my life is not a novel.
Okay, we're only at March and I already feel like I'm depressing. Maybe that means I'm in a better place now? Looking back at this entry that highlights one of the reasons works of fiction often do not translate to situations of this life makes me think of my earlier point that maybe I've learned that I'd actually rather not my life translate to novel or movie form. Large, close-knit, strict families are complicated, but I need to remember that in my case more people also equals more funny moments, more people to stand beside you, and more love.
April: I know I'm getting nowhere when I only sit and stare like I'm going down
Uncharted - Sara Bareilles
I am feeling a little more justified in my bout of unhappiness that was early 2011 after looking at that list of "ten happies". I applaud myself for trying to look on the bright side of things, but hell, if that was all I had to be happy about no wonder I was unhappy most of the time. Sheesh.
May: Home?
My attitudes on this matter have not changed. In fact, I have an addition: Home is also the place where it seems like my father is trying to kill my relationship. Not wanting the boyfriend to stay the night when we don't even sleep in the same bed when he does? Kbye! Moving out, stat. He needs to write a book titled "How to Be So Overprotective That You Push Your Kids Away", and read one about how to put himself in other people's shoes.
June: "It is my pleasure to inform you that..."
I'm pretty sure grad school saved my life. Not trying to be dramatic but I would be a depressed, useless puddle of waste probably if I had not gotten in. So thank you, U of M.
July: No entries
I didn't write that much this year. Partly because the first half of the year going online was depressing because I was having such a shitty time of things and it seemed like everyone else's life was great, and partly because the second half of the year I kept myself busy with school and such. Also maybe I'm feeling like less things merit being written about? Does that mean I'm less dramatic?
August: Making the best of a shitty situation
Title of the entry = story of my life right now. Commuting. Long distance relationship. Life with the parentals. Few friends in town. Not enough hours at work. Etcetera. But alas, I am an eternal optimist...
September: Really.
My sister is so incredibly frustrating = also story of my life. But I love her. We've had some good times and good talks this year, too. AND SHE'S GETTING MARRIED IN SEPTEMBER, WTF. (Still don't know how I feel about that.)
October: I wanna live, not just survive
Angel With A Shotgun - The Cab
I'm glad this entry made it onto this list, as I think it is one of my best of 2011. Lots of things happened. This is a good show of some of them.
November: Leave me out with the waste, this is not what I do
9 Crimes - Damien Rice
I need to be more motivated. I was talking to Sweety (who is in vet school now, like a boss) about how she struggled to study in high school but got on top of her shit in college and the advice she gave me was to keep my ultimate goal in mind. But that's hard to do when I love sleep so much and am so easily distracted. Sherwood and I recently had a talk about how one of our flaws as a couple is that we tend to be lazy together. This year we want to try to motivate each other, to push one another to be better. Hopefully with his help and a more determined mindset I will be successful in the academic endeavors of 2012.
December: Such a blubbering mess.
2011 love life recap in 4 sentences: Sherwood is great. Love is great. It gets easier, but long distance relationships do and always will suck. I cry a lot.
Achievements of 2011: Didn't get into med school and it wasn't the end of the world. Got into grad school, and a top-five one at that. Survived first semester of grad school. Made it through a year of long-distance relationship (mostly) intact.
Looking forward to in 2012: More grad school (hopefully no B's this time). Celebrating two years with Sherwood and growing together. Hopefully snagging an internship. Being a bridesmaid (and maid of honor) for the first time, and Nikki's wedding! Moving to Ann Arbor. Hopefully getting into med school by the end of the world (Mayan time).
Anyway, on to the meat: Subject lines and commentary about the first entry of each month of 2011,
January: Speaking of coming full circle.
http://quixoticjade.livejournal.com/tag/coming%20full%20circle
I like that I notice recurring themes in my life. On a potentially unrelated side note, I have also noticed that the relationship advice I give most often is, "Make sure you take a step back and look at your relationship from an outside perspective." I think these kinds of reflective behaviors help me/all of us to learn from our past selves and experiences to be the best people we can be and make the best decisions for our lives.
February: I used to never remember my dreams.
I hope I never again have such a stressful time in my life as when I was biting my nails about med school. What made it worse was that I was out of school and had nothing to keep me busy - I got enough sleep so I could never reach that blissful dreamless exhausted state. Lessons learned: (a) Don't sell yourself short and be so insecure that it stops you from turning things in on time, and (b) don't schedule a semester of free time while you're playing the waiting game.
March: This is the reason my life is not a novel.
Okay, we're only at March and I already feel like I'm depressing. Maybe that means I'm in a better place now? Looking back at this entry that highlights one of the reasons works of fiction often do not translate to situations of this life makes me think of my earlier point that maybe I've learned that I'd actually rather not my life translate to novel or movie form. Large, close-knit, strict families are complicated, but I need to remember that in my case more people also equals more funny moments, more people to stand beside you, and more love.
April: I know I'm getting nowhere when I only sit and stare like I'm going down
Uncharted - Sara Bareilles
I am feeling a little more justified in my bout of unhappiness that was early 2011 after looking at that list of "ten happies". I applaud myself for trying to look on the bright side of things, but hell, if that was all I had to be happy about no wonder I was unhappy most of the time. Sheesh.
May: Home?
My attitudes on this matter have not changed. In fact, I have an addition: Home is also the place where it seems like my father is trying to kill my relationship. Not wanting the boyfriend to stay the night when we don't even sleep in the same bed when he does? Kbye! Moving out, stat. He needs to write a book titled "How to Be So Overprotective That You Push Your Kids Away", and read one about how to put himself in other people's shoes.
June: "It is my pleasure to inform you that..."
I'm pretty sure grad school saved my life. Not trying to be dramatic but I would be a depressed, useless puddle of waste probably if I had not gotten in. So thank you, U of M.
July: No entries
I didn't write that much this year. Partly because the first half of the year going online was depressing because I was having such a shitty time of things and it seemed like everyone else's life was great, and partly because the second half of the year I kept myself busy with school and such. Also maybe I'm feeling like less things merit being written about? Does that mean I'm less dramatic?
August: Making the best of a shitty situation
Title of the entry = story of my life right now. Commuting. Long distance relationship. Life with the parentals. Few friends in town. Not enough hours at work. Etcetera. But alas, I am an eternal optimist...
September: Really.
My sister is so incredibly frustrating = also story of my life. But I love her. We've had some good times and good talks this year, too. AND SHE'S GETTING MARRIED IN SEPTEMBER, WTF. (Still don't know how I feel about that.)
October: I wanna live, not just survive
Angel With A Shotgun - The Cab
I'm glad this entry made it onto this list, as I think it is one of my best of 2011. Lots of things happened. This is a good show of some of them.
November: Leave me out with the waste, this is not what I do
9 Crimes - Damien Rice
I need to be more motivated. I was talking to Sweety (who is in vet school now, like a boss) about how she struggled to study in high school but got on top of her shit in college and the advice she gave me was to keep my ultimate goal in mind. But that's hard to do when I love sleep so much and am so easily distracted. Sherwood and I recently had a talk about how one of our flaws as a couple is that we tend to be lazy together. This year we want to try to motivate each other, to push one another to be better. Hopefully with his help and a more determined mindset I will be successful in the academic endeavors of 2012.
December: Such a blubbering mess.
2011 love life recap in 4 sentences: Sherwood is great. Love is great. It gets easier, but long distance relationships do and always will suck. I cry a lot.
Achievements of 2011: Didn't get into med school and it wasn't the end of the world. Got into grad school, and a top-five one at that. Survived first semester of grad school. Made it through a year of long-distance relationship (mostly) intact.
Looking forward to in 2012: More grad school (hopefully no B's this time). Celebrating two years with Sherwood and growing together. Hopefully snagging an internship. Being a bridesmaid (and maid of honor) for the first time, and Nikki's wedding! Moving to Ann Arbor. Hopefully getting into med school by the end of the world (Mayan time).