I wanna live, not just survive
This past week has been an emotional rollercoaster trainwreck of which some parts were pretty damn fun. If that makes any sense.
I totaled my car. Again. Except this time it was my fault. I don't really wanna talk about it. I'm fine. Girl's car I hit is fine (miracle of engineering) after a fine rear-ending by mine. She's fine too. Zorro went out in a blaze of glory. Okay, he didn't actually catch on fire, but I have a feeling that a car named Zorro would much rather burn out than fade away, die epically in battle as opposed to coughing and sputtering to an utterly unglamorous demise. Rest in peace, my good man. You took me to many wonderful places in style and I am so grateful.
I also had my first two exams of grad school. The all-nighters were made more pleasant than they could've been because Boyfriend is studying for another actuarial exam - Skype study dates are waaay more productive than real life ones, I must say. That's probably the only advantage to a long-distance relationship. The exams went well, I think. No grades yet.
Other highlights of the week included two sobbing sessions - one where I told Sherwood that while I enjoy play fighting, when that's all we do it makes me feel like I don't want to be in a relationship anymore. He countered that him and I both know that he never in seriousness says anything mean to me, but then after a break for volleyball practice told me that he saw my point that even if I know he doesn't mean them, the things he says are still hurtful, and I got a hearty "I owe you an apology. You're the one that I love, and you don't deserve to be treated the way I treat you." And since then our relationship has been lovey dovey, easy breezy. Next sobbing session - not so great of an outcome. Well, kinda. It got straightened out. My dad was lecturing me about my accident and because the wound was still fresh, I was trying not to cry by looking at my phone. Which my father took as not caring what he had to say and did some more lecturing. But we talked it out and I cried it out.
And then I went to East Lansing. Where I got to spend the weekend with my real live boyfriend and tailgate with a buncha my friends and eat and drink and be merry and watch my alma mater beat the school that I now attend for the fourth year in a row. I was happy about it. Undergrad trumps grad school. I have so much love for MSU. Great friends, good times, big love.
Only shitty part about the weekend was that on Friday I woke up with hella pain in my mouth. My cheeks were a little inflamed, it hurt to eat, and I couldn't open my mouth more than an inch. I let it chill for the weekend - no dice. I got an emergency appointment at the dentist this morning, and apparently my wisdom teeth are the culprit. Called the oral surgeon - I don't get a consultation for extraction of those bad boys until November 2nd. You win this time, wisdom teeth. But at least now I have ibuprofen 800s.
And... I'm pretty sure that's it. Rollercoaster, right? So much craziness, but I feel so alive. Especially thanks to this new album from The Cab. SOOO GOOOOD. And the phone call I just got from Sherwood that went something like this:
"Hello?"
"You sound not happy. Are you okay?"
"Yeah..."
"You wanna talk about it?"
"Later." (My mom was just giving me shit, and was still in the room)
"Okay... Well I just wanted to tell you that you're cute, and I'm so glad I got to spend the weekend with you. I told my mom that you came to visit me and she was very happy - she said it was good that we got to spend time together, even though I didn't get a lot of studying done."
"You're the best, boo."
"I miss you."
"I miss you too. I'll talk to you later?"
"Okay. I love you."
"I love you too."
This is my reality. And I wouldn't want it any other way.
Well, except for the long distance relationship thing, and the fact that I live with my parents... But let's not think about that.
I totaled my car. Again. Except this time it was my fault. I don't really wanna talk about it. I'm fine. Girl's car I hit is fine (miracle of engineering) after a fine rear-ending by mine. She's fine too. Zorro went out in a blaze of glory. Okay, he didn't actually catch on fire, but I have a feeling that a car named Zorro would much rather burn out than fade away, die epically in battle as opposed to coughing and sputtering to an utterly unglamorous demise. Rest in peace, my good man. You took me to many wonderful places in style and I am so grateful.
I also had my first two exams of grad school. The all-nighters were made more pleasant than they could've been because Boyfriend is studying for another actuarial exam - Skype study dates are waaay more productive than real life ones, I must say. That's probably the only advantage to a long-distance relationship. The exams went well, I think. No grades yet.
Other highlights of the week included two sobbing sessions - one where I told Sherwood that while I enjoy play fighting, when that's all we do it makes me feel like I don't want to be in a relationship anymore. He countered that him and I both know that he never in seriousness says anything mean to me, but then after a break for volleyball practice told me that he saw my point that even if I know he doesn't mean them, the things he says are still hurtful, and I got a hearty "I owe you an apology. You're the one that I love, and you don't deserve to be treated the way I treat you." And since then our relationship has been lovey dovey, easy breezy. Next sobbing session - not so great of an outcome. Well, kinda. It got straightened out. My dad was lecturing me about my accident and because the wound was still fresh, I was trying not to cry by looking at my phone. Which my father took as not caring what he had to say and did some more lecturing. But we talked it out and I cried it out.
And then I went to East Lansing. Where I got to spend the weekend with my real live boyfriend and tailgate with a buncha my friends and eat and drink and be merry and watch my alma mater beat the school that I now attend for the fourth year in a row. I was happy about it. Undergrad trumps grad school. I have so much love for MSU. Great friends, good times, big love.
Only shitty part about the weekend was that on Friday I woke up with hella pain in my mouth. My cheeks were a little inflamed, it hurt to eat, and I couldn't open my mouth more than an inch. I let it chill for the weekend - no dice. I got an emergency appointment at the dentist this morning, and apparently my wisdom teeth are the culprit. Called the oral surgeon - I don't get a consultation for extraction of those bad boys until November 2nd. You win this time, wisdom teeth. But at least now I have ibuprofen 800s.
And... I'm pretty sure that's it. Rollercoaster, right? So much craziness, but I feel so alive. Especially thanks to this new album from The Cab. SOOO GOOOOD. And the phone call I just got from Sherwood that went something like this:
"Hello?"
"You sound not happy. Are you okay?"
"Yeah..."
"You wanna talk about it?"
"Later." (My mom was just giving me shit, and was still in the room)
"Okay... Well I just wanted to tell you that you're cute, and I'm so glad I got to spend the weekend with you. I told my mom that you came to visit me and she was very happy - she said it was good that we got to spend time together, even though I didn't get a lot of studying done."
"You're the best, boo."
"I miss you."
"I miss you too. I'll talk to you later?"
"Okay. I love you."
"I love you too."
This is my reality. And I wouldn't want it any other way.
Well, except for the long distance relationship thing, and the fact that I live with my parents... But let's not think about that.