As we all know, this is the day on which Jesus, because of a rogue comet striking a military silo creating a nuclear explosion, came back from the dead to walk the earth once more ( Read more... )

A wise man once told me that we are all God in drag. I like that. Sometimes when I'm in a public place or sitting at a stop light, I'll watch people walking by and I'll silently say to myself, "He's God. She's God. He's God. She's God." Before long I always find myself feeling a warm sense of affinity for these strangers. The experience is even ( Read more... )

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I JUST FELL OUT OF MY ROFLCOPTER AND INTO AN ACTIVE LOLCANO!!!

Real post sometime later.

Giraffes...they're comin' to get you.

I find it Goddamn hilarious that I find this just before taking a shower:

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Also, the LHC worked! Yay science! (Collider? I hardly knew her!)

The person who wrote this has been added to my list of heroes. They explain exactly why I can't stand those Goddamn Twilight books. There was only one quote from the actual book and it damn near made my brain commit hara kiri. Someone needs to tell her less is more when it comes to loading your adjective gun, ie. TURN OFF THE INFINITE AMMO CHEAT

Oh mai gah! Issa conthipiwacy! The guv'ment dun be puttin' rainbows in our water supply!

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I need to share another note from a family member. This is from my second cousin Jim, who is not only very funny, but nothing short of a genius. See, on his Facebook account, he updated his status to "Jim just witnessed an amazing employee/customer meltdown in Subway. Wow!" Being the curious little monkey I am, I inquired to what he meant. This ( Read more... )

My aunt sent me this today. It's fucking hilarious.

Christmas songs + Mental Disorders = ...1. Schizophrenia -- Do you Hear What I Hear ( Read more... )

Abbot & Costello: 2005

Costello Wants to buy a Computer from Abbott.ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you ( Read more... )