Lucid dream:
I encounter 2 twin girls, whom I dreamed about a few nights ago.  They appear to be 9-10 years old, strawberry blonde hair, and dressed in cotton flower-print dresses of a style that was popular in the late 1950s.


( Read more... )

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The devils are writing poetry inside my head again. It's 3 a.m. on a sleepless night somewhere at the intersection of Dreaming and time, and not a goddamn thing in all the worlds makes a single lick of sense. A blue scarf on the dresser rests where it was thrown at winter's end, reminding me that it's all just dust in the wind anyway. Folly. ( Read more... )

In a private group I belong to, we've been working with "opening to gnosis" - essentially asking a question of the sentient universe (double, higher self, wider awareness... whatever you want to use as your imagery-du-jour), as a means to strengthen our awareness.

My question was focused on the idea of examining JUST how deep our programming goes. ( Read more... )

 It was a year ago tonight that my mother died.

I look at those words hanging in cyberspace, and ask myself if it is possible to even wrap my mind around such a thing.  And at the same time, I *see* that it is such a simple thing that no understanding is possible, and perhaps not even desirable.  Death simply is.

So as I sit here at my desk in the ( Read more... )

 In Dreaming...

I am standing face to face with Orlando, but he has taken on my own face and form.  My sense is that this is to avoid the paradox of "the sorcerer who comes face to face with his double is a dead sorcerer."  But no matter...  I know it is "him" even though it appears as "me".  Cool trick.

He says to me, "Death is a position of the ( Read more... )

(Comments & notes to myself, culled from a conversation at YAW)

I think one reason so many of us are drawn to the Toltec path is because we do know - from the intuitive level of silent knowing - that there is a "way" to retain our awareness and inhabit the totality of ourselves after our physical bodies run out of juice. I am acutely aware of things ( Read more... )

I remarked to Wendy yesterday that there are no manuals for how to deal with the aftermath of a close relative's death.  While it isn't  my intent to be "irreverent" (whatever that actually means), I have found that sifting through the rubble of my mother's life has been more of a trial than I might have thought it ever could be.  As I am an only ( Read more... )

Finally arrived at our destination late last night - spent most of the day today going through the house & essentially filling trash bags.  Found myself thinking throughout the day of the odd "futility" of life, yet the strange irony as well.  Not so long ago, my mother was a living, breathing entity, in love with this little house in Central ( Read more... )

 The following was what Orlando had to say about a warrior Dreaming of her own death.

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One aspect of Dreaming for a warrior is that it enables her to explore and experience Otherworlds which are not readily accessible through ordinary awareness; and one of those Otherworlds is the position of the assemblage point outside of the mortal self as that ( Read more... )