fucked
i dont understand the point of having an online journal that everyone can read........ if it was really a journal for ur feelings you probly wouldnt want the whole world reading it like i could confess my love to someone or talk shit about someone on this and the whole world would know! whats the point in that? who knows but im gonna talk shit anyways. so thurston today sucked. i got to sit across from my used to be best friend and wish i wasnt such a bitch. why the fuck do i open my mouth i love when people trust me and tell me shit but i fell like they cant anymore. as much as i say i hate him i miss him so much and i just want him to call me and tell me hes over it. he can fuck me over and i tell him its ok and then i do it and the world is over and he cant get over it. why do i even wanna be friends with him again........ i guess its just because i hate when people hate me i cant stand knowing i cant talk to someone because im a bitch. whatever fuck him. so i think i might be ready to give this boyfriend thing a chance. i mean how hard can it be maybe i havent had one since forever ago but it could be fun. i was skeptical at first but hes a nice guy. im still thinkin about it but i dont wanna wait to long cuz then he wont like me anymore but i dont wanna just date someone i just met and dont know very well. maybe i would be happier. i mean he could buy me shit lol. i think im worried about the age difference i mean i no its online a year but i think its weird when the girl is older it would make me feel like i cant get someone my own age.maybe it would work out i duno but its really late and i need to get up in the mornin and im not waiting for my fucking phone call anymore cuz its not happening