Mikhaïla Chevonne Daniella Nicole Owenson
So, I suppose technically this counts as Sue #1 of the 21st instead of Sue #2 of the 20th.
Whatever. Time is not my master.
Sue #2:
TITLE: Abadoned Pirate
CULPRIT: Becca Malfoy
SUMMARY: "Mikhaïla is the daughter of a pirate, and her mother saves her life by throwing her to the sea. Mikhaïla is washed up on an island, and found by a crew of pirates.... Jack Sparrows crew. How will her life be changed when she is asked to join his crew?"
BEST LINE: "Take this board, and walk the plank. When you hit the water, cling to the board, and I swear, you will survive." Ah. Lies our parents told us.
THE VERDICT
Walk the plank, bitch
NAME: Mikhaïla Chevonne Daniella Nicole Owenson
EYES: not described
HAIR: not described
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: none
OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: A piece of wood.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: She was raised on a pirate ship by her parents. Her mother throws her overboard to free her from the abuse of her drunken father.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: [See "Notes"]
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: She must have super healing powers or something.
THE "PLOT": So, Sue's father is a drunk (hey, deja vue) and to save Sue, Sue's mother hacks a piece of wood off of their family pirate ship and tosses Sue overboard, telling her to cling to it and she will survive. No. Seriously. Sue washes up on the shore of some island. Apparently, she's been tossed around by the waves so much that her leg's all broken. I'm talking broken to the point where there's bone sticking out...and she was floating in salt water. Uhm, yeah. That was comfy. Anyway, Jack and company find her, of course, and bring her aboard. She's really happy about this turn of events and she and Anamaria are going to be bestest friends. And she's not, like, in a whole bunch of a lot of pain, or infected, or dying from fever or hypothermia anything.
NOTES: I really hope that this isn't a Jack pairing. I mean, hasn't sueslaps already been down the pedophilia road with a Sue reported not too long ago?
However, so far it looks like Sue will be one of the precocious little darling sorts that hang around with the canon characters and awe them with their cute, endearing, precocious ways.
I think I'll go be sick now.
I refuse to even comment on the name.
EXCERPT:
I'm unsure if Sue is fourteen or four.
Chapter 3
Mikhaïla woke, finding herself in a small room. Blankets were drapped over her, and she heard muffled footsteps above her head, leading her to believe that she was under the main deck of a ship. The cinnamon skinned woman climbed down a ladder into Mikhaïlas room. The womans raven black hair was tied back with a strip of black cloth, and her young face smiled at Mikhaïla.
“Hello. I am Annamaria. What is your name?” she asked softly as she sat down beside Mikhaïla.
“Mikhaïla Owenson. But that’s just apart of my name,” Mikhaïla laughed quietly to herself. Annamaria nodded.
“Aye, is it? What is your name, in the full?”
“Mikhaïla Chevonne Daniella Nicole Owenson. Seriously, including all your middle names when someone asks for you name? So kindergarten. But Mikhaïla is what I like to be called, m’am,” Mikhaïla said timidly. Annamaria grinned.
“A noble name. Owenson, did you say?” she asked, a wondering look on her face.
“Yes. My father is Captain Michael Owenson, if that is where you know it from. I am, well, was part of his crew, but my mother threw me overboard to protect me from my fathers rage and abuse,” Mikhaïla found herself saying. Annamaria whistled. Yeah, I still can't believe that shit.
“You’re a pirate, at such a young age? Why, you don’t look any older than fifteen!”
Mikhaïla nodded.
“I am fourteen years old, m’am. But, aye, I am a pirate. But maybe just because I was born on my fathers ship and raised by my mother and fathers crew. Their way of life rubbed off on me,” she hugged her knees. “Where am I?”
Annamaria smiled warmly.
“You’re on the Black Pearl, Mikhaïla. The most feared pirate vessel in the Caribbean, as Jack is so fond of saying,” she shook her head, laughing.
“Who is this Jack?” Mikhaïla asked.
“Captain Jack Sparrow.”
Mikhaïla blinked in amazement.
“The Jack Sparrow? Captain of The Black Pearl?” she asked in awe. Uhm, didn't she mention the name of the ship first? Internal consistency, people. Internal consistency. When Annamaria nodded, Mikhaïlas eyes lit up.
“I’ve heard many a tale about Jack Sparrow! I hear he’s the greatest pirate in the Caribbean!” she said excitedly. She just said it was the most feared pirate vessel in the Caribbean. What are you just, like, paraphrasing Anamaria's dialogue or something? Annamaria laughed.
“Aye, he is quite a character! And an extraordinary pirate. You will like him. I think he wants to take you on as a crew member, Mikhaïla. It will be good to have female company on our travels,” she sighed. Mikhaïla laughed with glee.
“Really? Me, sail the Caribbean with Captain Jack Sparrow?” she asked in disbelief, her brown eyes full of wonder. Annamaria nodded, grinning from ear to ear.
“Aye, Mikhaïla Owenson. You!” she laughed heartily, and Mikhaïla found that she liked this bubbly pirate girl, So, uhm, was there anything at all in the movie that made anyone think for a second that "bubbly" could ever be a word used to describe Anamaria at any point in her life? Yeah. Didn't think so. who was close to her age. I suppose it's just because I know that Zoe Saldana is 26...but, dude, Anamaria is so not "close" to fourteen. “Jack has tended your leg already. He will come to see you before long. I must leave now, but I will return later. Get some rest!” Annamaria stood to go. Mikhaïla nodded and lay back down. Annamaria began to climb the ladder, and disappeared on the deck. Mikhaïla fell asleep to the gentle rocking as The Black Pearl began to sail.
Whatever. Time is not my master.
Sue #2:
TITLE: Abadoned Pirate
CULPRIT: Becca Malfoy
SUMMARY: "Mikhaïla is the daughter of a pirate, and her mother saves her life by throwing her to the sea. Mikhaïla is washed up on an island, and found by a crew of pirates.... Jack Sparrows crew. How will her life be changed when she is asked to join his crew?"
BEST LINE: "Take this board, and walk the plank. When you hit the water, cling to the board, and I swear, you will survive." Ah. Lies our parents told us.
THE VERDICT
Walk the plank, bitch
NAME: Mikhaïla Chevonne Daniella Nicole Owenson
EYES: not described
HAIR: not described
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: none
OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: A piece of wood.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: She was raised on a pirate ship by her parents. Her mother throws her overboard to free her from the abuse of her drunken father.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: [See "Notes"]
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: She must have super healing powers or something.
THE "PLOT": So, Sue's father is a drunk (hey, deja vue) and to save Sue, Sue's mother hacks a piece of wood off of their family pirate ship and tosses Sue overboard, telling her to cling to it and she will survive. No. Seriously. Sue washes up on the shore of some island. Apparently, she's been tossed around by the waves so much that her leg's all broken. I'm talking broken to the point where there's bone sticking out...and she was floating in salt water. Uhm, yeah. That was comfy. Anyway, Jack and company find her, of course, and bring her aboard. She's really happy about this turn of events and she and Anamaria are going to be bestest friends. And she's not, like, in a whole bunch of a lot of pain, or infected, or dying from fever or hypothermia anything.
NOTES: I really hope that this isn't a Jack pairing. I mean, hasn't sueslaps already been down the pedophilia road with a Sue reported not too long ago?
However, so far it looks like Sue will be one of the precocious little darling sorts that hang around with the canon characters and awe them with their cute, endearing, precocious ways.
I think I'll go be sick now.
I refuse to even comment on the name.
EXCERPT:
I'm unsure if Sue is fourteen or four.
Chapter 3
Mikhaïla woke, finding herself in a small room. Blankets were drapped over her, and she heard muffled footsteps above her head, leading her to believe that she was under the main deck of a ship. The cinnamon skinned woman climbed down a ladder into Mikhaïlas room. The womans raven black hair was tied back with a strip of black cloth, and her young face smiled at Mikhaïla.
“Hello. I am Annamaria. What is your name?” she asked softly as she sat down beside Mikhaïla.
“Mikhaïla Owenson. But that’s just apart of my name,” Mikhaïla laughed quietly to herself. Annamaria nodded.
“Aye, is it? What is your name, in the full?”
“Mikhaïla Chevonne Daniella Nicole Owenson. Seriously, including all your middle names when someone asks for you name? So kindergarten. But Mikhaïla is what I like to be called, m’am,” Mikhaïla said timidly. Annamaria grinned.
“A noble name. Owenson, did you say?” she asked, a wondering look on her face.
“Yes. My father is Captain Michael Owenson, if that is where you know it from. I am, well, was part of his crew, but my mother threw me overboard to protect me from my fathers rage and abuse,” Mikhaïla found herself saying. Annamaria whistled. Yeah, I still can't believe that shit.
“You’re a pirate, at such a young age? Why, you don’t look any older than fifteen!”
Mikhaïla nodded.
“I am fourteen years old, m’am. But, aye, I am a pirate. But maybe just because I was born on my fathers ship and raised by my mother and fathers crew. Their way of life rubbed off on me,” she hugged her knees. “Where am I?”
Annamaria smiled warmly.
“You’re on the Black Pearl, Mikhaïla. The most feared pirate vessel in the Caribbean, as Jack is so fond of saying,” she shook her head, laughing.
“Who is this Jack?” Mikhaïla asked.
“Captain Jack Sparrow.”
Mikhaïla blinked in amazement.
“The Jack Sparrow? Captain of The Black Pearl?” she asked in awe. Uhm, didn't she mention the name of the ship first? Internal consistency, people. Internal consistency. When Annamaria nodded, Mikhaïlas eyes lit up.
“I’ve heard many a tale about Jack Sparrow! I hear he’s the greatest pirate in the Caribbean!” she said excitedly. She just said it was the most feared pirate vessel in the Caribbean. What are you just, like, paraphrasing Anamaria's dialogue or something? Annamaria laughed.
“Aye, he is quite a character! And an extraordinary pirate. You will like him. I think he wants to take you on as a crew member, Mikhaïla. It will be good to have female company on our travels,” she sighed. Mikhaïla laughed with glee.
“Really? Me, sail the Caribbean with Captain Jack Sparrow?” she asked in disbelief, her brown eyes full of wonder. Annamaria nodded, grinning from ear to ear.
“Aye, Mikhaïla Owenson. You!” she laughed heartily, and Mikhaïla found that she liked this bubbly pirate girl, So, uhm, was there anything at all in the movie that made anyone think for a second that "bubbly" could ever be a word used to describe Anamaria at any point in her life? Yeah. Didn't think so. who was close to her age. I suppose it's just because I know that Zoe Saldana is 26...but, dude, Anamaria is so not "close" to fourteen. “Jack has tended your leg already. He will come to see you before long. I must leave now, but I will return later. Get some rest!” Annamaria stood to go. Mikhaïla nodded and lay back down. Annamaria began to climb the ladder, and disappeared on the deck. Mikhaïla fell asleep to the gentle rocking as The Black Pearl began to sail.