Ugh, haven't been on lately
I've been trying to quit...by staying away from the ana/mia culture. It's not working. I'm at a standstill.
Right now I'm fighting the need to purge. I want to so bad. My mind is vacillating so much right now. Don't purge, you do it once now, you'll do it again. You ate only a normal amount, you're not stuffed, that's just what having food in your stomach for longer than a few minutes feels like. No, you can't purge just a little bit.
God, it physically hurts to have a grilled cheese sandwich and two bites of carrot cake in my stomach. Wth is wrong with me?
It makes zero sense. The things I've binged on before, even considering the purging I've done before the final purge, make this amount of food seem like only a few crumbs in size. Why does it hurt so bad? Is it all psychological? Perhaps it hurts because I imagine I can feel the fat and carbs and protein seeping into my body, making me heavier, sleepier, weaker. It feels disgusting.
Regards,
Amanda
Right now I'm fighting the need to purge. I want to so bad. My mind is vacillating so much right now. Don't purge, you do it once now, you'll do it again. You ate only a normal amount, you're not stuffed, that's just what having food in your stomach for longer than a few minutes feels like. No, you can't purge just a little bit.
God, it physically hurts to have a grilled cheese sandwich and two bites of carrot cake in my stomach. Wth is wrong with me?
It makes zero sense. The things I've binged on before, even considering the purging I've done before the final purge, make this amount of food seem like only a few crumbs in size. Why does it hurt so bad? Is it all psychological? Perhaps it hurts because I imagine I can feel the fat and carbs and protein seeping into my body, making me heavier, sleepier, weaker. It feels disgusting.
Regards,
Amanda