Physics and sex both yield practical results, but that's not why we do them.

Every problem can be solved by burning books.
Every savior's crucified next to crooks.
Every human being starts with two..
..naughty looks.

You said, "If I ask you a question, are you gonna lie to me?"

I said, "Honey, is that your question? Cuz honey, that one's easy"

Cuz half the truth is just how much there is.

Jealousy is a horrible feeling to have. But thank goodness it's a feeling other than numb.

Have any of you ever been so drunk that while taking a pisser, you started doing Tai-Chi with any free limbs you have available?

No?

Ok, because neither have I.

What's one of the biggest things I miss about her?

Honestly, her tits.

James from GLMS says:

There should be signs every ten miles that say, "Holy Shit! You're still in Ohio!"

...fallin' for you!

Sometimes, the only thing you need is someone to tell you that everything will be alright. No matter how much you believe otherwise, you trust their calmness and their perspective to make everything seem perfectly fine.

Fuck the haters! Bring the laughter ( Read more... )