[Falcon gives no shits about naked people that are not Ionia. Incidentally, he gives very many shits for naked people who are Ionia.]

You think this is funny? You're sick. Does the word minor mean anything to you, pedophile ( Read more... )

[After a short trip to Pokédex.com on Sunday night, Falcon completely gave up on computers and the journal network in general. Apparently the kind of Pokémon he had become was not really one for being cooped up (doh ho ho) inside, and it wasn't long before he was completely adverse to being stuck indoors. Finding the urge to run around in the woods ( Read more... )

[MONDAY, JUNE FOURTEENTH OF THE YEAR TWO-THOUSAND AND TEN.

There is a blue hovercar in the parking lot. It is taking up its usual two and a half spots. What could this possibly mean.]

Someone parked their radioactive vomit-mobile in my spot. I took the liberty of breaking into it and hot-wiring it and moving it ( Read more... )

( Narration. )

All right, everyone, here's your status report ( Read more... )

[Falcon has a tendency to treat these kinds of things like a zombie apocalypse. Find the unaffected, gather them, and then make sure the affected don't blow up the world. So here he goes.]

Okay, I need a few things from everyone.

1. If you are not affected, tell me.
2. If you are affected, tell me. Additionally, tell me if you aged up or down, ( Read more... )

( In which Falcon thinks he is the only person who knows a certain someone's birthday and exploits said supposed monopoly of that knowledge to the best of his ability. )

( Short narration, unhackable. )

I uh.

I guess I went and rented a tux.

Ugh.
-------
( Private to Ionia, unhackable. )

So uh...how formal is this thing supposed to be?

...Going to sit this one out, I think.