Last Week's Summary, Part I: Driving to Dallas
I really hope that two straight hours of that wasn't what caused the Honda to choke and die in Italy.
Warp me home, oh Pegasus!
While in Dallas, I was informed that I have a "cute" face.
I don't see it. But apparently the old people did! Come on, you're old. You bought a 1935 DeSoto in Iowa for 29.95 while hitch-hiking. You lived through a war. You're suppose to be xenophobic, damnit! And I'm a punk kid with a laptop and a mohawk. I'm pretty much the anti-thesis of you. So, Alvin and Mamie, why are you talking to me?
I guess I shouldn't be mad. They were pretty nice folks. It's just that I WAS FUCKING STUCK IN ITALY, TEXAS AND AM AT LEAST TWO HOURS AWAY FROM ANYTHING GOOD.
At least I copied some Invader Zim episodes before I left Austin. GENIUS!!
A thought occurred to me in Italy - McDonald's is about four times cheaper for intarwubs usage than StarBucks, which is what I usually use on the road. (And by "usually use" I mean "once used".) So, what's more prevalent? McDonald's or StarBucks? Which god-forsaken chain currently reigns supreme in the Lone Star State?
When the tow truck guy arrived, I fully prepared myself for a shitty two-hour-long drive. I had my headphone in my right ear, so I could pretend to be asleep in the cab while rocking out to some music - hopefully not rocking out too hard, lest he see through my clever ruse - but once we started talking, he was actually a really cool guy. One quote stuck with me specifically, when he was talking about one of the employees at the gas station:
"Every time I see the little midget one, I wonder what she looks like nekkid. Been watching the internet too much, I guess."
To which I replied, "You can never watch too much internet, trust me."
The rest of the car ride just got better, conversation-wise. Turns out that the best perk of being a tow-truck driver is all the hot women who get stranded in the middle of nowhere, and one of the greatest possible pitfalls is not realizing when one of them is underage - apparently that knocks your chances with the mom straight to hell. When AAA calls me to confirm that he actually towed me and my car home, instead of taking me to a chop-shop and selling parts of me and the car to shifty foreigners ("Kidney carburetor combo! Buy one, get one free!"), I'm going to tell them that he was the best tow-truck driver I've ever had, and that he single-handedly turned my night from a disaster into an adventure.
An hour and a half later, we were at my parents' house, where I spent the night, and picked up the blue car in the morning - which is going to be the topic of tomorrow's post. After that, I think I'll cover the band I saw this weekend, and after that maybe you'll see some breasts, if I get enough comments to make me believe someone is reading this.