15 in 30 III - My drunk friend
Don't miss the special bonus video at the end of this entry!
Last Saturday, Scott drove up from San Antonio to hang out with me. Sarah decided to take a nap - on a saturday night? I know! - but recommended a cheap bar we should check out. Scott and I drove around for half an hour before convincing ourselves that Sarah made the whole thing up, and headed to Detours, a bar that's maybe a mile from my house. The best part were the hookers, which came in two flavors - manly, and underage. The manly one seemed to be doing much better than the underage one - when we came in, she went out to the parking lot with some guy, and returned alone. About 20 minutes later, another guy sidled up next to her and she took him somewhere, too. This guy actually came back, and bought her a few drinks with his arm around her shoulder. I guess that's the hooker equivalent of snuggling afterwards.
The underage hookers came in later. They were much better looking than the manly hooker, and they actually had a pimp - a lightly build guy who bought them non-alcoholic drinks. (Think about it, who would go to a bar and get non-alcoholic drinks? And more to the point, who'd be pissed when they didn't have her brand of non-alcoholic beer? A hooker, that's who.) Two were pretty cute, and one can be gently described as a "discount" hooker. Some guy who smelled of beer and peanuts immediately sat down next to them and started talking (negotiating?), but nobody seemed too interested in him. I guess they were holding out for a less disgusting customer, and one kept looking at Scott, but as we were about to leave, she finally settled for the beer guy, who tried to have a conversation at me by making grunts in my general direction. I smiled, nodded, and backed out the door.
When we got back, Sarah was up and took us to her friend Kason's house. That's where things started going badly.
Apparently, Scott insinuated that he was a cop, which led everyone there to be wary and suspicious of him, and Scott turned paranoid. At one point, we had a long, drunk conversation outside about absolutely nothing, but it was filled with overtones of suspicion, fear and paranoia. Scott did what any man would do in his situation - he inebriated himself to the point where he couldn't walk anymore.
Eventually, after he started swatting at me and screaming obscenities about Russians, everyone got mad and tried to get him to leave. Sarah and I kept telling them to back off, that we could handle him, but they kept trying to "help" by yelling at him and slapping at him, which didn't really encourage him to cooperate. Eventually we dragged him to the car, and then back inside.
In the morning, that asshole told us that he wasn't nearly as drunk as he was pretending to be, and was basically having a larf at our expense. And, though it's plenty funny in hindsight, I'm pretty sure Sarah's not taking us to anymore parties at her friends' house.
So, Austin people! Who wants to hang out with me and my drunken friend?
Special Bonus Video!