You saved my life, but maybe it wasn't worth saving.
I should feel obligated to live it now, because you worked so hard.
I did mention, didn't I, that I could never appreciate it the way you can.

I am beyond help ( Read more... )

I walked out of work this morning at exactly 6:01am, saying hello to all the morning shifters coming on. Smiling. Saying good morning. Not cheerily, mind you, I am not a cheery girl. But, simply acknowledging the fact that I was walking by another human being with whom I happened to share a common misery: working. Not one person said hello or ( Read more... )

When its cool and sunny and smells like dying leaves hanging on for dear end of life, or raining on hot pavement - or if there are fires in people's fireplaces and pumpkins slowly rotting on people's doorsteps, I admit, nostalgia gets the best of me. I want everyone I love who happens to be dead to climb into bed with me and never go away again. ( Read more... )

I should have been scared. But is it even possible for an eight year old to comprehend what death is? I could have been scared. Truthfully, I don't even know if I was. I can't remember being an eight year old. Or a nine year old. I remember my 8th birthday party. New Kids on the block. A new bike that I would come to hate because it wasn't ( Read more... )

People always say they would rather be told how a person really feels than to have to guess. I think I'm going to have to disagree. I don't think people really want to know at all. Or, they only want to know if its good. Take, for example, all the convos I had with Jude when she was still breathing about how we'd both rather be told, "You know ( Read more... )

( Yule post )

Annie invited K and I to have Thanksgiving at her house. Normally, I'd say no...and...I'm inclined to do just that this time, but for some reason it doesn't seem like such a huge threat. I asked her if normal people bring things, and if she could just tell me precisely what to bring so that I won't fret over it, the way I did on my way to Janet's ( Read more... )

I am ten. Seriously, I have to be. Only a ten year old would be worried about the stupidest most selfish shit, while accomplishing just enough to feel like an adult in her own mind. People don't get over certain fears, they just learn how to hide them and react to them differently.

You know what I decided ( Read more... )