deeep thoughts....by Jack Handy.
Denise asked me why I think I seem to be doing better. She suggested distance. I don't know? But distance from what? I was talking to her on the phone tonight, and said something off the top of my head about how I'm in a new place with new worries and new responsibilities that need to be taken care of. I told her its nice to focus on those - they make nice distractions. I said I'm kidding no one, I go to a new place, stay good and distracted while things are good and new, and then get settled and lose it. She said maybe moving is my medicine. We got cut off, but while I was waiting for her to call me back, I thought about her suggesting distance as the catalyst for me keeping my head above water here lately. Yes, I do move around, because a new place and a new life can solve anything, right? As long as its new and exciting, I can focus on the newness and nothing but. However, I have a feeling that it isn't moving, or newness, or even distance from any one thing in particular. Mostly, I just need to get away from wherever it is I am. And it doesn't matter where I am. Its the fact that I'm there, and I want away from it. Maybe one of these days I'll figure out that emotional places aren't so easily escaped by physical distance.
Wouldn't that be nice though?
I get my TB test read tomorrow, which is good....hopefully a means to starting frikken work....which is helpful in.....PAYING RENT (and all other worldly expenses). Then off to dump another jug full of yellow blood water for cash. I keep reminding myself that I did exactly what I wanted to do with that inheritance money. I made one big, important, responsible purchase, and blew the rest on scampering directionless across the country and spending a little time on my mental health. That way, I won't feel bad for having none left. Can't take it with you, right?
Wouldn't that be nice though?
I get my TB test read tomorrow, which is good....hopefully a means to starting frikken work....which is helpful in.....PAYING RENT (and all other worldly expenses). Then off to dump another jug full of yellow blood water for cash. I keep reminding myself that I did exactly what I wanted to do with that inheritance money. I made one big, important, responsible purchase, and blew the rest on scampering directionless across the country and spending a little time on my mental health. That way, I won't feel bad for having none left. Can't take it with you, right?