Counting down until my birthday... (reflections of the past year)
I'll be 27 in two days. Time seems to be going by so fast; flying by, even. It's almost hard to believe that one year has passed and my time in Australia is up. I remember last year's birthday so vividly because I was all alone in a foreign country having moved there mere weeks ago and barely knew any of the international students there. None of us really meshed well enough to maintain that friendship anymore. I mean Facebook friends aren't really friends, right?? Needless to say it wasn't a very good birthday.
What actually elevated my life a week or two later was a chance rush to my classroom when I saw a Japanese culture club called "Amebu" so I joined on my way. They had an event at a Japanese restaurant a week or so later that I thought might be good to go to so I could meet new people and potentially new friends. That I did, actually. Just one of them who wasn't even a member of the club but came along anyway because he was friends with the founders. That was Matt, the boy I refer to as Matt-matt, and who became my best friend in Australia. While there are some people you inevitably meet because of your overlapping friendship circles I honestly don't think I would have met him if I didn't go to this event because even though he's a goth and studies Japanese our worlds would have been too far apart. There is a slim possibility that I might have seen him across campus and wondered who he was but otherwise than that, no, we wouldn't have met. But we did. And we clicked really, really well. Not like "I want to be your girlfriend" well but like "I am having a horrible, horrible day and I need someone's shoulder to cry on and I can't think of anyone better than you" well. And it has remained that way to the present day, perhaps even more so.
It was yet another hard parting to have to see my best friend go back to Australia while I remained in Japan. I didn't cry - he wasn't a boyfriend - but I can feel the lack of his presence. I miss him already because there's already so much I want to talk about and philosophize with but our schedules are already drifting apart and I can't just go up and knock on his door (we became housemates a month after meeting) just to talk or whatever.
I actually really miss my house in Australia. So much. I of course miss Matt-matt but also crazy and wonderful Leyla who always re-arranges the whole house to her liking so I come home and laugh because I can't find utensils again or that the couch is in a completely different room. I miss my beautiful and wonderful kitty, Nina, and sometimes I even miss that great big mutt of Leyla's, Odie, though I can't say the same for her whiny boyfriend who moved in without asking. But still, it was my house and I was comfortable there and I miss them all. I really do.
I'm sort of torn right now because all I want for my birthday is not stuff but to see Matt-matt again or even go back to Melbourne again to my old house to see everyone again and hold my kitty and have a small birthday gathering with Matt mixing drinks all night and Leyla making some lovely food while watching Invader Zim or GHIBLI or something silly and staying up all night long laughing with them until the sun rises and we all crash.
The thing you don't realize when you travel and live somewhere else for a while is that you leave a part of your heart behind. You don't mean to - sometimes you don't even want to - but you do. And life is never the same again. Any place in the world you are you can feel your heart being torn, just a bit, and these pieces are scattered around the globe. My heart is so faceted and confusing and horrible and wonderful and still with so much to learn.
But for now I have to finish my lunch and get back to my International Relations seminars in rural Hiroshima which I have all day long. And try - try!! - not to be mopey that I am having a birthday without any of the people that I love around me. Yet again.
What actually elevated my life a week or two later was a chance rush to my classroom when I saw a Japanese culture club called "Amebu" so I joined on my way. They had an event at a Japanese restaurant a week or so later that I thought might be good to go to so I could meet new people and potentially new friends. That I did, actually. Just one of them who wasn't even a member of the club but came along anyway because he was friends with the founders. That was Matt, the boy I refer to as Matt-matt, and who became my best friend in Australia. While there are some people you inevitably meet because of your overlapping friendship circles I honestly don't think I would have met him if I didn't go to this event because even though he's a goth and studies Japanese our worlds would have been too far apart. There is a slim possibility that I might have seen him across campus and wondered who he was but otherwise than that, no, we wouldn't have met. But we did. And we clicked really, really well. Not like "I want to be your girlfriend" well but like "I am having a horrible, horrible day and I need someone's shoulder to cry on and I can't think of anyone better than you" well. And it has remained that way to the present day, perhaps even more so.
It was yet another hard parting to have to see my best friend go back to Australia while I remained in Japan. I didn't cry - he wasn't a boyfriend - but I can feel the lack of his presence. I miss him already because there's already so much I want to talk about and philosophize with but our schedules are already drifting apart and I can't just go up and knock on his door (we became housemates a month after meeting) just to talk or whatever.
I actually really miss my house in Australia. So much. I of course miss Matt-matt but also crazy and wonderful Leyla who always re-arranges the whole house to her liking so I come home and laugh because I can't find utensils again or that the couch is in a completely different room. I miss my beautiful and wonderful kitty, Nina, and sometimes I even miss that great big mutt of Leyla's, Odie, though I can't say the same for her whiny boyfriend who moved in without asking. But still, it was my house and I was comfortable there and I miss them all. I really do.
I'm sort of torn right now because all I want for my birthday is not stuff but to see Matt-matt again or even go back to Melbourne again to my old house to see everyone again and hold my kitty and have a small birthday gathering with Matt mixing drinks all night and Leyla making some lovely food while watching Invader Zim or GHIBLI or something silly and staying up all night long laughing with them until the sun rises and we all crash.
The thing you don't realize when you travel and live somewhere else for a while is that you leave a part of your heart behind. You don't mean to - sometimes you don't even want to - but you do. And life is never the same again. Any place in the world you are you can feel your heart being torn, just a bit, and these pieces are scattered around the globe. My heart is so faceted and confusing and horrible and wonderful and still with so much to learn.
But for now I have to finish my lunch and get back to my International Relations seminars in rural Hiroshima which I have all day long. And try - try!! - not to be mopey that I am having a birthday without any of the people that I love around me. Yet again.