ONTD June Reading Challenge: Kristmas In July!
Happy July! Let's kick it off with a new month of the ONTD Reading Challenge themed around iconic, classic, legendary posts. This month's is, of course, "Kristen Stewart cheats on Robert Pattinson with married director," otherwise known as Kristmas in July.
Ghost In The Shell
Masamune Shirow
Kristen Stewart isn't the only lame white thing Rupert Sanders has done. He also directed the live-action adaptation of Ghost in the Shell starring noted white woman Scarlett Johansson. To cleanse your palate of this monstrosity, you should read the original 1989 manga.
East of Eden
John Steinbeck
Did you know that Kristen Stewart is something of a bibliophile? She has cited the classic work East of Eden as her favorite novel of all time. It covers complex topics of good and evil and is critically acclaimed as a masterpiece, but it does have a disappointing lack of glittery vampires.
Madame Bovary
Gustave Flaubert
A sheltered, privileged young woman who has a dull life takes delight in her affair with a lover, much to her own detriment. Sound like a description of the KStew affair? Well, it's a description of Madame Bovary, which is a very appropriate book for this situation.
Snow, Glass, Apples
Neil Gaiman
Like Rupert Sanders, Neil Gaiman is also a middle-aged man who considers himself edgy and treated his female partner badly. Unlike Rupert Sanders, Neil Gaiman actually created a pretty good fictional spin on Snow White.
On The Road
Jack Kerouac
I'll be honest: I hate Jack Kerouac. I hate the beat writers. I hate On The Road. But Kristen did star in it, and it does involve a sex scene in a car, so it would practically be negligent of me to leave it off this list.
Diana: Her True Story, In Her Own Words
Andrew Morton
You know another public affair that destroyed a high-profile relationship? The one between Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles that nearly drove Lady Diana mad. Kristen's very accurate and subtle portrayal of Diana won her an Oscar nomination.
Cosmopolis
Don DeLillo
In 2012, the year that the affair happened and that Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 was released, Robert Pattinson was also starring in the film Cosmopolis, based on the novel by Don DeLillo. The entire plot takes place inside a limousine and also includes sex scenes. A surreal, mind-bending saga that includes Robert Pattinson, a car, and sex? Seems apropos.
Let The Right One In
John Ajvide Lindqvist
Speaking of Twilight, why not read a much better novel about vampires? This is a Swedish horror novel about a strange relationship between a human boy and a vampire girl. The genders might be flipped, but the fucked-up and bizarre relationship dynamics are still there, which Twilight fans are sure to love.
This reading challenge post is a few days late because [spoiler]your girl is lazy.
Catch up on previous months' reading challenges:
January: ONTD University Is Back In Sesh
February: Armie Hammer's Sex Kitten Texts
March: Heidi Montag Crying On A Chair
April: Eli Roth Has Cybser Sex With Blueberries
May: SECRET POST
June: The Wild Mountain Thyme Spoiler Post