Regret
So I am thinking back about regret, like usual I have a giant pile of it but what can you do. I was thinking of a girl from college, well several but this one was on my mind all night while I was at work and not singing music from Evil Dead the Musical. The girls name is Kristin, and I was really into her or I defiantly would not be thinking about her so much right now. And made a special entry to her on my other journal, but that is beyond my point. I was thinking of a night in particular, she made a move on me and pretty much wanted me to make a move on her and I did not. I tried to recover a bunch of times after but it was just annoying her and then it was over before it started. Though she was nice enough o leave me a blanket when she went a retreat so I had the smell of her for a week, or at least her laundry soap. Yeah I know kind of creepy and even though I would love to track her down and I could probably put some effort into it and turn all stalker - ish, but I think it is for the best I really am not mature enough for a woman like her so.
Now that I think of it the other person I had a chance with was Avery as well but now seeing how things turned out if I would have had a night with her when she enticed me and I just shrugged it off, I probably would be a father right now. Though I think I have never really been closer to a woman then her. We were so different but there was just something and yet I am perfectly ignorant and now she is with a man who will really appreciate her and will be a great father for her child.
Then Harmoney the only other woman of college of really importance is a girl who has a boyfriend and even though I and she could have indulged in some of our dark and twisted fantasies she has an obsession to as normal and fit into society as much as she could, so I pretty much gave up on trying with her. We still send suggestive comments to each other but nothing incriminating so it is just banter now.
Now that I think of it the other person I had a chance with was Avery as well but now seeing how things turned out if I would have had a night with her when she enticed me and I just shrugged it off, I probably would be a father right now. Though I think I have never really been closer to a woman then her. We were so different but there was just something and yet I am perfectly ignorant and now she is with a man who will really appreciate her and will be a great father for her child.
Then Harmoney the only other woman of college of really importance is a girl who has a boyfriend and even though I and she could have indulged in some of our dark and twisted fantasies she has an obsession to as normal and fit into society as much as she could, so I pretty much gave up on trying with her. We still send suggestive comments to each other but nothing incriminating so it is just banter now.