And I feel nothing.....not sane

[wickedslayer]

I was like a shadow, a ghost haunting some random cabin in the desert of New Mexico. Did exactly what he told me to do and stayed the hell out of his way. Anytime he came into a room I was in, I just clung to the wall and moved to the next one, hopin' he'd be busy doin' whatever it was he did. Sometimes I heard him tinkering around in the kitchen,

Comments

[psycho_angelus]

Gentle and nice were two words that shouldn't be applied to people like us, and yet it was happening. We were both so used to fast, hard, painful, get it done right fucking now, that this felt like a whole new experience. And the weird thing? I liked it. She was doing exactly liked I asked, making me feel damn good

[prodigal_slayer]

He kept sayin' it. Only you, Faith. Just me, cause suddenly I was important or something in some way that I didn't even understand really. Special, right? Not like it would be if B came back for me. He was right, she'd show up and haul me off then she'd find out about that guard and then what? Would she hand me back over to the cops now that I didn't have slayer powers? I was a wanted fugitive. Why would Buffy ever help me? Why would she ever want me? She'd find out what I did and it didn't matter what I said, she'd hate me. She always hated me

[psycho_angelus]

She's thinking about something, the emotions on her face keep changing. It's like looking into a river, you never see the same thing twice. But whatever was bothering her soon passed and she was watching me again. The rest of the world didn't exist right now, just the two of us

[prodigal_slayer]

His warm arms suddenly fell away from my body and I could see his fingers clasping the sheets. Better the sheets than my skin even though his touch had become something of a comfort. Because it was still something, and it wasn't prison guards. Prison guards didn't give two shits about me, Angel said I was special. I was the only one who could do this for him. His back arched and my mouth met his against as I felt the wave start to push over me and through my skin.

My lips fell open and I moaned into his mouth loudly when I finally hit the peak. My muscles clamped down around him and I had to pull my mouth from his just so I could hear my own moan. Burying my face in his neck, I clenched my fingernails down on his back as I came.

Finally I let go and felt my heartbeat starting to slow along with my breath. But I was supposed to do something, say something. Shit. Still writhing against him I had to fake it a little bit, but I was still wicked spent so I didn't have to fake it that much. "Angel..." I mumured "....us." Fuck.

[psycho_angelus]

She said his fucking name. His, not mine. Added the 'us' afterwards when she realized the mistake. I closed my eyes for a moment, letting myself run on autopilot. With a growl, I rolled us over, pinning her to the bed with my weight. Faith's eyes widened and I could tell she knew that she'd been bad

[wickedslayer]

I gasped as his fingertips pushed against the carving on my stomach. My eyes flashed dangerously at him, because I sorta hated bein' referred to as a belonging. Might not be a slayer anymore but I was still me. Mine. I owned me, except I hadn't been the one keepin' my ass locked in a trunk for a week. That'd been him. And besides, hadn't I told myself that I wouldn't be selfish? That I'd just give him whatever he needed. He needed to get better and besides...no one else wanted me. Had nowhere else to go

[psycho_angelus]

I pulled out of her with a groan, suddenly feeling very tired. Wish I still had that vampire stamina, she'd worn me out. Maybe it had been too nice, that's why she'd said his damn name. Shouldn't be so gentle the next time around. Wouldn't do anything too violent, but just enough to make her understand that she did belong to me. I'd seen that look in her eyes when I had said it

[wickedslayer]

Resting my head back on the pillow I looked down at my chest where he had nested his head. His arm wrapping around me and pulling him to me as he rested the upper part of his body against me. One hand tentatively reached out and began circling patterns along the flesh of his back. Just needed to keep him calm, keep him calm so I could be calm too. That was how this worked. I could be calm, he could be calm. Everything was gonna be okay, fucking fine. Just had to be good

[psycho_angelus]

I kept my eyes closed while her hand moved along my back and in my hair. It was... soothing. She couldn't remember what it was like before being a slayer? That was interesting. How many years were just a blur for her then? Fourteen? I sighed, thinking about my own life.

"I remember more from the night I was turned than when I was still alive, but there are bits and pieces. My real name, the color of my favorite horse, what I got my youngest sister for her very last birthday. My old self... he was a drunk, had money and didn't care what he did. Usually just did shit to piss father off."

Openning my eyes, I looked up at her face but made no effort to move. "Killed them all. Family, friends, and most the village when I was turned. He still feels guilty about that shit. It was over two hundred years ago, let it fucking drop. There's only so long you can sit in the corner and brood. He's a big baby. Oh, woe is I for I used to be a bad ass vampire and do evil things, I should whip myself with a wet noodle." I snorted

[wickedslayer]

I turned my eyes away from him when he asked me if bein' locked in the trunk brought it all back for me. All those nights of mom gettin' pissed and throwin' my ass in the closet. Sometimes I just hid on there on my own cause mom was fightin' with one of her boyfriends. Then a few hours later I'd hear her pass out after he beat the shit out of her and then he'd come for me. He'd call to me through the doorway of the closet. Promise he wasn't gonna hurt me if all I did was come out like a good girl. Always so bad at bein' good. And it always hurt. No matter how good I was. I wondered if this was just repeating some fucked up cycle I couldn't escape

[psycho_angelus]

There's that anger again. Never too far from the surface, is it? She so much like me, that part of the reason I got her out of jail. I gave her a small smile. "Because I'm an asshole." I'd told Faith you had to figure out what you were good at, and that was one of my skills. Find a weakness and poke the hell out of it until the person snapped. It was usually fun

[wickedslayer]

I narrowed my eyes again not trustin' him as far as I could throw him and at the same time I trusted him so fucking much. Because I knew him, ya know? Cause he saved me. Because he was a fucking psychotic asshole and he was the only thing I had left. He wanted to know about my first watcher? Why? Did he really care? It was weird cause I just wasn't used to anyone askin' me questions besides 'Do you have a cigarette I can bum?' or 'Did you do it

[psycho_angelus]

The watcher had been more of a mother than her natural one. And that was snatched away by someone like me. Faith's hand moved through my hair and I felt my body slowly relax. She didn't want to talk about herself, fine. I'd talk about my favorite subject- me

[wickedslayer]

I knew a little something about hiding in the dark. After all, wasn't that what I'd been doin' in prison for so long? Hidin' in the dark, away from myself and the rest of the world? Except when you spend that long hiding in the shadows of your own mind you come to the realization that you are the only one around to think about. I was stuck with me and it took me a long fucking time to grapple with that fact. But now I was out, he'd taken me back out into that sunshine and until he ruined it with his hand clamped around my throat in the grass, I'd been happy. For that little space of time when I was sure it was him and not the other him he'd turned into. He'd fooled me on purpose. Now I wondered which one of us was selfish and I was sure it was him