ALIVE
so yeah. still alive.
I've been teaching at this new school, with this new company, for about a month now. It's been hard to gather the energy to blog. Which seems weird, how much energy does it take to type a few words? But I'm not naturally a talkative person, not really a people person at all. And I'm trying really hard to be nice to everyone and friendly and it wears me out so much. Everyday after work I get back to my apartment and I'm so tired. This sounds a little weird I bet, and more than a little bit "hippie" if you know what I mean. But afterwork I come back to my apartment and crawl onto my knees and bend over them resting my forehead on the floor with my arms resting wherever they're comfy. similar to "child's position" in yoga. And I just sit there with the cool floor at my forehead and reconnect with the earth.
Reminded how uncomfortable I am as a teacher. Trying desperately to figure out what I can do for a living as an introvert that will allow me peace.
But I love the school I'm working with. The teacher's are so much kinder than any of those I worked with in Fukuchiyama. But then, to be nicer than the teachers in Fukuchiyama isn't that hard. All they have to do to win that competition is say hi on a somewhat regular basis. And the students are crazy, but sweet. The baddest girls wear their skirts long, down to their ankles and don't ever attend class, but just wander down the halls, stalking victims. They listen to their phones, text, yell across hallways during class, but between classes they chase me down the hall to say "hi!" or tell me things. One of the girls introduced me to her boyfriend and told me they were having their 11 month anniversary this month. So cute. She's such a bad-ass to everyone and then this?
And one of my Chinese students follows me down the halls like a lost puppy. Seriously, she has those big brown puppy dog eyes, just looking at me for any bit of approval.
Yes, I have Chinese students. There's a giant population of Chinese immigrants near my Junior High and several students in my school are therefore, Chinese immigrants. They don't speak Japanese very well, and they don't really speak English at all. But they're some of the sweetest students towards me. I guess it's part of that "both foreigners in a strange world" kind of thing. They're also some of the most rough and tumble towards other adult figures and each other. Got a lot of hate stored in them, I think. Hate towards their parents for moving to some place where they don't speak the language, hate for the sheer amounts of racism that occur without censor in Japan, hate at themselves for not being able to express things fully to the people around them for lack of language skills...I'm not a psychologist I don't know those things for sure, but that's what I feel. What I see in their faces sometimes when they are struggling to find a word for something.
Been trying to save money since I haven't got paid yet. But pretty much suck at it. Well, I feel like I'm always spending money anyway. But I suppose I'm not really since I still do actually have some left. I did work especially hard because of my incentive: gazette concert this Wednesday--can only go if I have enough money to buy a ticket. And gazette tickets are EXPENSIVE compared to my usual indie bands.
And then I went to Mt. Koya this weekend. Which was totally awesome. Koya-san is a UNESCO World Heritage Site (For comparison, so is Stonehenge...). It is considered the 'heart' of Japan. It's about a 90 minute train ride, 8 minute cable car up the mountain, 15 minute bus ride away from where I live. I'd like to go back again. Being up in the mountains like that is like being home. My dad once told me when asked about religion that he'd rather climb a mountain then go to church, because how could a church be any closer to God then the gentle breeze caressing your face when you stand on a mountain peak. That's how I feel standing out on a hillside looking over the edge towards the sky and the valley below. At peace.
The most interesting part was a section so holy that photographs weren't allowed. Nor food, drinks, or wearing Yukata. It was the mausoleum of Kobo Daishi, the founder of Shingon Buddhism. After he died his body didn't decay. Legend is that he didn't actually die, but entered a state of eternal meditation waiting for the Maitreya Buddha's coming and that while he meditates he shares his compassion with all the people in Japan. But seriously, type "kobo daishi mausoleum" into google images and look! The place is gorgeous and so full of atmosphere.
This is the closest you can take pictures.
This is a section of the inside. The actual grave is in a cave behind and beneath this area I believe.
Atmosphere yo. Even though it wasn't foggy. It felt heavy with spirits.
I also went to a concert a while ago. I made a quick write up of it during a boring hour at school. but can't be bothered to type it right now. I believe it was Awoi, Deathgaze, and Heidi. You can believe me that it was awesome. Awoi and Deathgaze being my two favorite bands for concert going in recent times. :D
And since I was still recovering from the koya-san hiking today I spent a lot of time on tumblr so you should look at it: http://noclue2.tumblr.com/ . . . Most of the Japan pictures are mine. Everything else is pretty much not. But I'm really liking the collecting of pretty things that tumblr allows.
I've been teaching at this new school, with this new company, for about a month now. It's been hard to gather the energy to blog. Which seems weird, how much energy does it take to type a few words? But I'm not naturally a talkative person, not really a people person at all. And I'm trying really hard to be nice to everyone and friendly and it wears me out so much. Everyday after work I get back to my apartment and I'm so tired. This sounds a little weird I bet, and more than a little bit "hippie" if you know what I mean. But afterwork I come back to my apartment and crawl onto my knees and bend over them resting my forehead on the floor with my arms resting wherever they're comfy. similar to "child's position" in yoga. And I just sit there with the cool floor at my forehead and reconnect with the earth.
Reminded how uncomfortable I am as a teacher. Trying desperately to figure out what I can do for a living as an introvert that will allow me peace.
But I love the school I'm working with. The teacher's are so much kinder than any of those I worked with in Fukuchiyama. But then, to be nicer than the teachers in Fukuchiyama isn't that hard. All they have to do to win that competition is say hi on a somewhat regular basis. And the students are crazy, but sweet. The baddest girls wear their skirts long, down to their ankles and don't ever attend class, but just wander down the halls, stalking victims. They listen to their phones, text, yell across hallways during class, but between classes they chase me down the hall to say "hi!" or tell me things. One of the girls introduced me to her boyfriend and told me they were having their 11 month anniversary this month. So cute. She's such a bad-ass to everyone and then this?
And one of my Chinese students follows me down the halls like a lost puppy. Seriously, she has those big brown puppy dog eyes, just looking at me for any bit of approval.
Yes, I have Chinese students. There's a giant population of Chinese immigrants near my Junior High and several students in my school are therefore, Chinese immigrants. They don't speak Japanese very well, and they don't really speak English at all. But they're some of the sweetest students towards me. I guess it's part of that "both foreigners in a strange world" kind of thing. They're also some of the most rough and tumble towards other adult figures and each other. Got a lot of hate stored in them, I think. Hate towards their parents for moving to some place where they don't speak the language, hate for the sheer amounts of racism that occur without censor in Japan, hate at themselves for not being able to express things fully to the people around them for lack of language skills...I'm not a psychologist I don't know those things for sure, but that's what I feel. What I see in their faces sometimes when they are struggling to find a word for something.
Been trying to save money since I haven't got paid yet. But pretty much suck at it. Well, I feel like I'm always spending money anyway. But I suppose I'm not really since I still do actually have some left. I did work especially hard because of my incentive: gazette concert this Wednesday--can only go if I have enough money to buy a ticket. And gazette tickets are EXPENSIVE compared to my usual indie bands.
And then I went to Mt. Koya this weekend. Which was totally awesome. Koya-san is a UNESCO World Heritage Site (For comparison, so is Stonehenge...). It is considered the 'heart' of Japan. It's about a 90 minute train ride, 8 minute cable car up the mountain, 15 minute bus ride away from where I live. I'd like to go back again. Being up in the mountains like that is like being home. My dad once told me when asked about religion that he'd rather climb a mountain then go to church, because how could a church be any closer to God then the gentle breeze caressing your face when you stand on a mountain peak. That's how I feel standing out on a hillside looking over the edge towards the sky and the valley below. At peace.
The most interesting part was a section so holy that photographs weren't allowed. Nor food, drinks, or wearing Yukata. It was the mausoleum of Kobo Daishi, the founder of Shingon Buddhism. After he died his body didn't decay. Legend is that he didn't actually die, but entered a state of eternal meditation waiting for the Maitreya Buddha's coming and that while he meditates he shares his compassion with all the people in Japan. But seriously, type "kobo daishi mausoleum" into google images and look! The place is gorgeous and so full of atmosphere.
This is the closest you can take pictures.
This is a section of the inside. The actual grave is in a cave behind and beneath this area I believe.
Atmosphere yo. Even though it wasn't foggy. It felt heavy with spirits.
I also went to a concert a while ago. I made a quick write up of it during a boring hour at school. but can't be bothered to type it right now. I believe it was Awoi, Deathgaze, and Heidi. You can believe me that it was awesome. Awoi and Deathgaze being my two favorite bands for concert going in recent times. :D
And since I was still recovering from the koya-san hiking today I spent a lot of time on tumblr so you should look at it: http://noclue2.tumblr.com/ . . . Most of the Japan pictures are mine. Everything else is pretty much not. But I'm really liking the collecting of pretty things that tumblr allows.