TO: All friends, lovers, exes, random internet hitchhikers, internet surfers, time-travellers, wizards, demons, saints, Believers, Non-Believers
FROM: Ecstatic Exoteric Celebrationism Secret Chief and Naval Commander Commodore Lunchmeats
CC: Warmaster Grenade, unChurch of Celebrationism
SUBJECT: PLOTS AGAINST THE CHURCH, THE LONG WINTER OF APATHY
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