Fic: Pranksters - Third Year (part b)
Title: Pranksters - Third Year (part b)
Beta: dizilla and aquila_star
Rating: R
Word Count: 6,224 (overall 23,000)
Pairings/Characters: Kirk/McCoy, Chapel, OMCs, OFCs, Enterprise crew (mentioned)
Warnings: bad language, innuendo and a whole lot of pranks going on
Disclaimer: Not mine, dammit!
Summary:
The legendary and epic prank war of 2257-2258 by cadets Kirk and McCoy.
Leonard might not have started it, but he was damn sure gonna finish it.
First Year here and at AO3 here.
Second year here and at AO3 here
Third year part a here and at AO3 here
Third year part b at AO3 here
A/N: A very long time ago I started on this fic, based off a prompt on the Kink meme about the idea of Kirk and McCoy pranking each other while at the Academy here. I didn’t use the two suggested pranks, but it is canon that McCoy was a very good prankster while at Ole Miss.
Thank you to those who have been reading along as this has been posted.
-- 22 --
It had taken Jim most of the morning to get the box to balance in the correct position inside the cupboard. Bones was a creature of habit and he always went to grab a change of clothing from the cupboard before getting out of his reds. Now all Jim had to do was wait for the reaction he was after from Bones. It was a pretty mild prank in comparison to some of their normal efforts, but the benefits from Bones’ last prank most definitely outweighed the negatives.
When he heard the door opening, Jim lifted up his PADD higher to cover his face and hopefully have Bones thinking he was being a good, studious student. For all that Jim knew, he had a great poker face, but there was something about Bones which made Jim just smirk that little bit and not be able to hide his devilry.
“Jim,” Bones said as he heard Bones’ bag drop onto his bed.
“Bones,” Jim replied. He held his breath and waited for Bones to head over to the cupboard.
As he headed over toward it, Jim lowered the PADD just a fraction so he could peek over the top and see the results.
Bones was mumbling some instructions to himself while he pushed on the door to make it slide open. Bones wasn’t looking up at the top shelf, but Jim was and watched as the edge of the door slid past the box and down it tipped, scattering ping pong balls all over Bones’ head. Then the box tipped the final way over the edge and it too tumbled down onto Bones.
Jim was laughing too hard to clearly hear the insults being thrown his way.
“Ow!” Jim said, as a ball bounced off his head.
Bones had managed to get his hands on one and had pitched it at Jim. Jim’s body was still shaking with laughter though, as the box was teetering on Bones’ shoulder and Jim could see the balls rolling around the floor.
“Infant!” Bones responded, before bending over.
Jim was pretty sure what his intentions were.
Jim jumped off the bed and retreated around the other side, but not before Bones managed to throw another ball at his back. He turned to look over his shoulder and see if Bones had managed to move from his spot, but Bones was in the process of throwing another ball in his direction. Jim used the PADD in his hand to swat the ball away before heading for the kitchen area and the protection afforded by the partition.
Jim put the PADD down on the counter while he gripped the edge and tried to still his laughter. Bones’ face was hilarious though, and the way he was swiveling his body from side to side while he tried to find something Jim could only presume would be a better option to throw, replacing the ineffective ping pong balls. The box had fallen down to the ground, but Bones seemed reluctant to move from his spot.
“I didn’t put any glue down,” Jim pointed out.
“Unbelievable,” Bones muttered before continuing in a louder voice. “I don’t want to step and slip on one of these stupid balls and break my neck. You are severely lacking in medical skills.”
“Hey! I passed our emergency medical first aid with flying colors, thank you very much,” Jim countered.
“And who helped you out with that?” Bones had been looking down at the floor and he gingerly took a step forward, and then another.
Jim bit his lip as he saw the direction Bones was heading in. The other cupboard in the room.
“That would be my awesome roomie,” Jim said back, hoping to distract Bones a little bit before he opened the cupboard.
It worked. Jim doubled over and held onto his stomach while his body jolted with wracks of laughter over the look on Bones’ face. The box in the second cupboard was more successfully placed and didn’t fall out, but it did release another torrent of ping pong balls.
“For God’s sake, Jim. Do all our closets have balls in them?” Bones glared in Jim’s direction.
“Maybe,” Jim conceded, for once ignoring the mention of balls and the chance for a double entendre.
“I give up!” Bones said as he carefully stepped over the new balls and, before Jim could protest, Bones had flopped back down to lay on Jim’s bed.
“Hey!” Jim protested.
“Whatcha gonna do, princess?” Bones asked. From the upside down angle his head was at when he titled it to look in Jim’s direction, Jim could see the mocking raise of that eyebrow which had been making a regular appearance for the past three years.
“Fine,” Jim said and wandered back around the partition so he could sit back on Bones’ bed, and lifted up the PADD so he could study for real. He heard Bones pull off his boots and then drop them onto the floor before settling back down into Jim’s bed.
“Does this mean I’ve won?” Jim asked, the silence finally getting to him after a while.
“No.”
“I’m up though, eleven to ten.”
“You think some damn balls gonna slow me down?”
Jim tried to hide his laughter, but a snicker escaped and Bones retaliated by swatting at him with his pillow. Jim thought about grabbing the pillow and starting a tug-o-war, but knew there were still two other cupboards holding balls inside.
“You love me.” Jim knew the smile on his face was more a smirk than a wider smile, but Bones was too easy to rile up sometimes.
“Yeah, well,” Bones said as he tucked the pillow back behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. “It’s ten all.”
“Is not,” Jim retorted.
“The plumbing calls didn’t work and stealing my clothes and towel didn’t really work either. So ten all.”
Jim opened his mouth to protest about the stealing of the clothing being a win, but the image of Bones, naked, and walking in a manner which Gaila would call a ‘saunter’ came back to mind. Jim decided to let Bones consider that a failed prank.
Jim mused to himself that sometimes it was better to regroup before going on the attack again.
-- 23 --
Christine accepted the drink from Fi, and, while her fellow nursing students were engaged in conversation, drinks laughingly swapped back and forth, she glanced around the room. A look over her shoulder to where the pool tables were set up had her stopping her wandering perusal to concentrate on the two men she recognized. Leonard McCoy, a doctor in the medical and command track, and his roommate, the man a lot of the cadets had opinions about, Jim Kirk.
Like Christine herself, they were in civvies, and for once Dr. McCoy’s hair wasn’t as perfect as she normally saw it. The few times they had worked on sims together she had been amazed at how perfectly neat he always was, no matter how nuts things became. It was no wonder he was so highly thought of by the instructors, and how disliked he was by the more politically minded cadets who knew a threat to their standing when they saw it.
Sometimes though, he would open his mouth and his neat and tidy appearance was overruled by the chaos that came forth. Out would come a Southern accent which made her think of home, and he could be as sarcastic and cutting as the best of them. When there was praise to be dealt out, he wasn’t stingy with it, but if you performed lower than his expectations, you sure heard about it. He was hardest on himself and it was that which made Christine determined to be at the top of the class so she could be earmarked for the Enterprise, just like Dr. McCoy was rumored to be.
The newest ship, the best technology Starfleet had to offer, and being helmed by Captain Pike, Commandant of Cadets? Every cadet worth their salt wanted to be on it.
Jim Kirk was another matter entirely. He was cocky, but with charm and could back up the cockiness with ability. A few would make comments about his conquests but it was rare to hear a bad word said about him from those he had conquered. If he was as bad as some would make him out to be, then Christine was sure those would have been the first people making the complaints.
He and Dr. McCoy were as thick as thieves and had been from the start of their Academy days. Both were at the top of most of their classes. They were a conundrum, and her father had always said that Christine couldn’t resist a logic puzzle.
It was that which made her choose Nursing instead of her initial preference of Bioscience. Her mother had shaken her head once Christine had made the choice, lamenting as to why she didn’t choose Medicine, even though she had the test scores. Her father had come to her rescue once again, hushing her mother and smiling at her in understanding. Nursing meant you were at the coalface and always treating the person. A doctor would come and go. They were a necessary evil.
She blinked as her thoughts returned her to the present and the sight of one of those necessary evils leaning forward over the table with an excellent view of one of his best assets on display. Christine smiled into her drink as she took a sip to hide it. Her friends were all loudly talking over the top of each other and there were hand signals about their intentions to head toward the dance floor. She stayed twisted in her seat, facing the pool tables, and noted she wasn’t the only one admiring the fine ass of Dr. McCoy.
Fi tapped her on the shoulder and Christine shook her head at her, waving Fi off in the direction of the dance floor. The others left of their group were acquaintances and not close friends, so Christine slipped off the stool and wandered over to a space where she could watch Kirk and Dr. McCoy and not be spotted doing so.
A tall fern hid her from the main area, and there was a stool nearby which she pulled over. From her vantage point, Kirk was definitely checking out the good doctor. Christine had heard Kirk was dating an Orion in the Engineering track, but there was definitely nothing against looking in her book.
Dr. McCoy made his shot and it was good enough that it caused a groan of dismay from Kirk. The response from Dr. McCoy to Kirk’s dismay was obviously a challenge. They were standing close, very close, which made Christine think that the rumors about the two of them did seem to have some heat behind them.
Whatever Kirk was trying to cajole his way out of seemed not to be working, especially when Dr. McCoy held out his hand and, with a put upon expression, Kirk handed over some credit chips. There was no touching between them though, so Christine rethought the rumors. They were definitely close and comfortable within each other’s personal space. She herself didn’t like others to come too close. She valued her privacy, which was sorely being tested after living with another cadet for the past four years. Kirk’s face had changed as soon as Dr. McCoy looked in his direction.
She took another long sip of her cocktail, pondering this new information. Kirk had moved around the other side of the table, racking the balls up again presumably for another game. Dr. McCoy had one hip cocked as he rested against the table, and he was turned slightly so Christine got a good look at his face. Mischievous was the only word which came to mind. He spoke to Kirk, who looked up with his own smirk. Dr. McCoy’s face looked a little more serious when Kirk looked up, like a mask had descended over it, hiding the mischief away. He was up to something.
Dr. McCoy still had hold of his pool cue, it was extended out to the side so his arm was stretched out. His shirt sleeves were rolled up revealing the strong muscles on his forearms. He was a very well built man and while many within the medical track had made a play for his attention, he had kept most of his liaisons outside of those who might be a subordinate of his later.
It seemed to be a challenge of some sort that Dr. McCoy was suggesting. He had picked up the white ball and showed it to Kirk before making a motion around the table.
Kirk nodded his acceptance and found the white ball being tossed in his direction. It wasn’t too hard a throw, but from experience Christine knew it would still hurt a bit to catch a ball that solid. She got another exceptional view of Dr. McCoy’s ass when he leaned over and selected a ball from out of the triangle. He walked down to the other end and placed it close to the side. To shoot from the line it would take some skill to put it in a pocket. It wasn’t that hard, though. From the look of disbelief on Kirk’s face, he didn’t seem to think it was beyond him either. Dr. McCoy walked around the other side of the table, making Christine focus on his upper body this time, and the loping movement of his walk.
Kirk moved to collect his pool cue again but Dr. McCoy stopped him with a word and a shake of his head. He lifted up his own cue and Kirk just shrugged in response. Next, Dr. McCoy mimed his hands being cupped and looking down intently at them. When Kirk nodded, Dr. McCoy moved the rack and the other balls over to the side, presumably out of the way. With an airy wave of his hand, he motioned for Kirk to commence whatever challenge was about to happen.
Sure enough, the white cue ball was cupped in Kirk’s hand and, head down, he started to walk around the table, focusing on just watching the ball. Each step was a careful pace so as not to get too disorientated. Christine was confused as to how this would be much of a challenge, but she looked over at Dr. McCoy when she heard him tell Kirk, “Focus on the ball only, Jim. Shouldn’t be too hard for you!”
Kirk took the opportunity to keep his focus down, but he lifted up one hand to flip the bird at Dr. McCoy, who laughed before licking his thumb.
Christine didn’t understand why he licked his thumb until she saw him rub it over the top of the pool cue. The sneak was wiping off the chalk from the end of the cue! Dr. McCoy was keeping his attention solely on Kirk as he kept up the slow and careful removal of the chalk. Kirk walked around the table a total of three times and at the end of the final lap he smirked at Dr. McCoy as he held his hand out for the cue.
Christine had to slap a hand over her mouth to stop what she was sure would be revealing laughter. She also stopped a gasp escaping as she took in Dr. McCoy giving Kirk a good look over. Where Kirk had been shameless in his earlier ogling of Dr. McCoy’s ass, Dr. McCoy was using a slow and heated gaze which started at the back of Kirk’s neck and was slowly working its way down his body.
It appeared the pair of them would take any opportunity to look the other over with interest, but only when the other was not aware of the gaze. She would have pondered it further, but Kirk had just discovered that the cue slipped off the white ball, and his attempt at a shot petered out even before the white ball got two thirds of the way down the table.
“No way!” she heard Kirk proclaim loudly as he turned back to face a now smirking Dr. McCoy.
“Told ya,” Dr. McCoy replied, crossing his arms over his chest, smirk firmly in place.
“What did you do?” Kirk accused.
“Sore loser,” was the reply he received.
Kirk pointed a finger at Dr. McCoy, narrowed his eyes and then rested the cue stick on the table. He stalked around to collect the cue ball again, pointed his finger once more at a now laughing Dr. McCoy and started the whole process over, focusing on the ball. Dr. McCoy leaned forward and grabbed the stick. If Kirk noticed, he probably would have put it down to Dr. McCoy just being neighborly and making sure the stick was out of his way so he didn’t trip over it. Christine knew better.
Three laps and there was even less chalk on the head of the cue stick. This time she was better prepared for the miss, and it was a spectacular miss. The ball hardly moved as the stick slid off the ball with a snick so loud, she could hear it from where she was sitting.
Kirk was looking at the stick, perplexed. There was enough chalk still on there, and Dr. McCoy wasn’t laughing, just a very pleased smirk on his face. The smirk wasn’t wiped off when Jim grabbed the chalk that was sitting on the side of the table. He chalked up the stick and tossed it at Dr. McCoy, who caught it easily in one hand.
Again, Kirk picked up the white ball and started to walk around the table with his head down. Dr. McCoy continued to remove the chalk, but on the second walk around some movement caught Kirk’s attention and he caught Dr. McCoy in the act.
“Fucker!” Kirk exclaimed, but he had a smile on his face.
He put the ball down on the table and walked over to Dr. McCoy. Kirk grabbed the doctor’s hand and inspected the end of his fingertips. Christine held her breath to see if Kirk would glance up quick enough to notice the look of pure hunger on Dr. McCoy’s face. He didn’t.
Christine’s opportunity to watch them was almost over. Kirk wrapped an arm around the shoulders of Dr. McCoy and with some quiet words, they headed away from the table. Dr. McCoy put the cue back in the rack as they passed close enough, but Christine observed that Kirk didn’t disconnect his hold of the other man. She had turned her back to them so she wouldn’t be observed watching them. But she couldn’t resist an attempt with a sneaky little look. They walked behind her, Kirk’s arm still around Dr. McCoy and as they continued to walk away, she noticed Dr. McCoy was leaning into Kirk. Even though there was a group of people ahead of them, they could not be separated and they moved as one, twisting slightly to work through the crowd.
When they were out of her sight, she picked up her now empty glass and returned to the group, seeing that she arrived back at the table at the same time as the other half who had been on the dance floor. While the rest of the evening was amusing and fun, a nice time to let her hair down in a way, she would still wonder about the two men and if anything was going to happen with their seemingly strong attraction to each other.
-- 24 --
An incessant buzzing had Bones turning over in his bed, pulling the cover up a little higher, all the better to attempt to ignore the sound. It didn’t work. The buzzing ceased for a moment and he relaxed, trying to lull himself back into sleep, but it started up again. With a growl, he pushed the covers down and rolled back over to glare at the comm unit.
Along with the buzzing was a little flashing light indicating an incoming message. The chrono was telling him it was 0330 and Jim’s bed was empty. His annoyance slightly dipped as he considered it could be something urgent from Jim and not just something to prevent him from getting a proper night’s sleep before Jim’s third Kobayashi Maru test.
He hit the open line button on the comm unit. “Hello?”
“Let me speak to Cindy,” the voice replied.
Bones was confused. The only person in the room was him. Jim was out on a training course with his defense class.
“Who?” Bones replied, sitting up on his bed now, rubbing at his eyes before glaring at the comm unit as if answers would be forthcoming immediately.
“I said, put Cindy on the phone!” The voice was pretty demanding now.
“You’ve got the wrong number,” Bones replied. He sighed, realizing that sleep was now likely to elude him for a good while.
“Asshole, put Cindy on the phone now!”
Something about the voice was nagging at the back of Bones’ mind. He was sure he knew it. “There’s no Cindy here. You sure you don’t have the wrong number?”
“Of course I don’t have the wrong number.” The voice, which was definitely male and had a little inflection on some of the words indicating an Asian background.
Bones knew this because Jim had shown off his skills a few weeks ago one lunchtime. He had got Bones to join in his game of closing his eyes and listening to people speak and coming up with their linguistic background. They both made a few wrong calls, but one they did get right was Lieutenant Tao, a fellow cadet in Jim’s Hand to Hand class. This voice was remarkably like Tao’s.
“I know where you live! Let me talk to her.” Bones had closed his eyes, all the better to listen and there, faint in the background was a chuckle he knew almost as well as the freckles on his own face.
“Okay, okay,” Bones offered in a placating tone as he paused and tried to hear anything else in the background which would confirm that this was Jim’s idea. There wasn’t anything but his own intuition, so he went with it.
“Can she call you back? She's in the shower with my roommate.”
Bones didn’t allow a response, just broke off the communication. He sat for a moment waiting to see if he would get a call back. When a minute passed with no response, Bones smirked as he slid back down fully under the covers and attempted to reclaim his lost sleep. As his mind flitted back and forth, as it was wont to do just before sleep, he wondered if Jim would fess up tomorrow. He also wondered if this could be considered a failed prank or not? It would probably count as a successful one, Bones was woken up and he did have to reply to Tao.
-- 25 --
Jim was tired, sore, and feeling like he was balancing on the edge of a knife. The trip back to Earth was taking longer than everyone would like. Communications from Starfleet were short and anything which was broached about the Narada and the future ramifications were brushed to the side. Talk was rife amongst the ship and the presence of the remaining Vulcan High Council, who despite mostly keeping to themselves, only added to the tension. To make him feel even more on edge, there was Bones. Bones had laid out a challenge five days ago, that within the next five days he would play a big prank on Jim, who would be powerless to stop it.
The fifth day was almost over and it hadn’t come to fruition yet. Most of those days, Jim had spent thinking about what Bones could or would do. He had tried to put himself in Bones’ position, re-living the sorts of pranks which Bones had pulled and trying to see if there was any pattern to them. Jim had been teased by Sulu, and even Chekov had gotten in on the teasing, with the caution Jim was taking all over the ship. Uhura had obviously let them in on the war which had been ongoing between him and Bones since first year. A betting book had been opened up by Scotty on different options for Bones’ prank. When Bones heard about it, he just laughed, smiled at Jim, and patted Scotty on the shoulder before walking out of the Mess. Jim was adamant he had not pouted. No matter what Uhura said.
There were only a few hours left in the day and Jim was about to head to the one place where he hoped he would be ‘safe’, although the amount of pranks they had played against each other in their rooms had proved otherwise. With a deep breath, Jim coded in his access and the door opened to the room he was sharing with Bones. Pike’s room had been given over to some of the Vulcan High Command. With all the chaos from the encounter, more rooms were needed to put the wounded and the rescued Vulcans, Jim was happy to be assigned in with Bones. It was going to be strange to finally not share a room with the man when this may likely never happen again once it was all over.
Lights were down to about 20 percent, Jim noted. Enough so he could see the outline of Bones, who was lying back on his bed, PADD resting on his lap as he read from it. The glow from the PADD gave him an eerie look, emphasizing all the angles on his face.
“Bones,” Jim said as he walked across to his own bed.
Bones just grunted an acknowledgement.
Jim was about to toe off his boots when he thought to check the bed and underneath for any nasty surprises. The covers got pulled back quickly, but there was nothing he could see lurking within to give a shock. Bones had also said he wasn’t going to repeat any prank, so things were unlikely to happen to Jim while he slept. Nothing was under the bed either, but Jim called for the lights to 100 percent just to check again and be sure.
It was with hesitation Jim sat down on the bed and finally started to pull off his boots. Bones was still ignoring him and reading the PADD, which made Jim suspicious. He hated feeling this unsure. He liked to be in control, and he knew that Bones knew it too.
“Where is it?” Jim demanded, putting his hands on his knees and leaning forward.
“Hmm?” Bones asked, with an attempt at a disinterested look in Jim’s direction, before he was back to focusing on the PADD once again.
It was too much for Jim. With a step he was across the small space between their beds and had snatched the PADD out of Bones’ hands.
“Hey!” Bones protested, finally looking up at Jim.
“Goddammit, Bones!” Jim exclaimed, using Bones’ favorite expression.
“Give it back, Jim,” Bones ordered, gesturing with one hand.
Jim’s inner child, which contrary to Bones’ occasional grumble, was not always the first in line to his decision making process, came to the fore.
“Don’t wanna,” Jim said as he lifted the PADD up high in the air.
“Jim,” Bones warned and out came that eyebrow raise of his.
Jim smirked and waited to see what Bones was going to do about it.
As Jim suspected, Bones swung his legs around so one was on either side of Jim, and stood up. Jim had stepped almost right up to the bed just before, and it meant that Bones was now pretty much pressed up body on body with Jim. Jim wasn’t going to be the one to concede and back away, so he just held the PADD further back which would make it harder for Bones to get it. Bones tried to reach it, but Jim just smirked even more. There was a calculating look in Bones’ eyes, and just when Jim thought he was going to try and bring both hands up to tug on Jim’s arm, he instead found his face being cradled in Bones’ palms and then Bones was kissing him! Kissing him!
Before Jim could really fully process what was happening, Bones was no longer kissing him and was in fact back on his bed, PADD in his hands again.
Jim just stood there for a moment, a little stunned. He felt hot and flushed and totally confused, before feeling a flicker of anger at Bones using a trick like that just to get back the PADD. Jim ran a hand through his hair as he took a few steps away, then turned back and pointed an accusing finger at Bones.
“That was sneaky and underhanded!”
“Thought you would appreciate my tactical nous,” Bones replied, refusing to look at Jim.
“That wasn’t the prank?” Jim asked, sure it wasn’t, but wanting to check.
“No.”
Jim narrowed his eyes as he looked at the calm, supine position of Bones. Then something caught his eye. Bones’ hands were shaking. Tiny little shakes, but they were there if you were looking closely, and Jim had been looking closely at Bones for a very long time. It was probably why the kiss had shaken him so much. It was only this year that he had finally realized how attracted he was to Bones, but he wasn’t going to make a move unless Bones showed he was interested too. Jim never went after anyone who wasn’t attracted to him; Uhura had little body quirks which showed she was attracted to Jim on a physical level, so he wasn’t completely barking up the wrong tree there. Bones though, as much as he knew this man, he also didn’t know him sometimes.
It was time to test a theory.
The PADD was just as easy to remove this time as it was the last, but instead of holding on to it, Jim tossed it onto his bed and straddled Bones’ body. He gripped Bones’ upper arms, holding him in place.
“Jim!” Bones had a look about his eyes like an animal that was trapped and trying to figure out the angles in order to escape.
The one thing Jim was sure about was that Bones wouldn’t try and buck him off. Jim could see the pulse beating at the base of his throat. It wasn’t slow. It was going at a pace similar to Jim’s own.
“You know I am sure that wasn’t the prank,” Jim said as he leaned forward, watching Bones intently.
Instead of ignoring the feel of Bones under his hands, Jim was cataloguing everything his senses were telling him. The heat and the tremble of Bones’ body, the scent which was all man and Bones. The hints of his aftershave, which was now almost faded after a full day of work, all blended with the smell unique to medical professionals.
“I said it wasn’t,” Bones said.
“You want to know the reason why?”
“I know the reason why, but you’re gonna tell me anyway, ain’t ya?” Bones complained.
“Your hands trembled,” Jim said as he leaned in really close, almost close enough to kiss Bones, noting the flare in Bones’ eyes, before he tried to hide his discomfort.
Bones’ lips were set together, refusing to give anything away, but the simple fact he did it was giving it away to Jim’s trained eye. If Bones could have the last word, he would. Holding back and not speaking, it was obvious Bones was trying to hide something.
Jim’s next move was going to be to lean back and question Bones more, to find out about the prank, but Bones was right there. Those lips were there and Jim wanted a real memory of kissing them.
They were soft and Bones inhaled slightly at the press of their lips together. Jim pressed more, wanting more, his hands sliding up to card through Bones’ hair, touch the rough stubble which adorned Bones’ cheeks, following a slow path down his neck to the base and back up again. One kiss became many slow, careful ones and with every movement Jim learned something new. At some stage Jim realized he was lying fully on Bones, who had his arms around Jim, one hand resting on the small of Jim’s back and the other around his shoulders.
“Bones,” Jim said in wonder as he slowly opened his eyes.
The nickname on his lips was enough for a soft smile to grace Bones’ own lips. “Yeah,” Bones agreed, almost only breathing the word out.
Jim opened his mouth to speak but he just didn’t know what to say. It was a new feeling for him. He closed his mouth as Bones dragged a finger down his cheek and then, even slower, making progress across Jim’s lips. He opened them just slightly, but let Bones dictate what was going to happen next. Bones rested his finger in middle of Jim’s lips, with just the slightest of pressure.
“How long?” Jim asked.
It brought Bones’ eye-line back up to Jim’s, distracting him from the intensity which he had been gazing at Jim’s lips.
“A while,” Bones replied.
Jim smiled. “Yeah, me too.”
Bones snorted.
“I totally did!”
Up went the eyebrow again. God, Bones was sexy when he did that, Jim couldn’t help the thought from crossing his mind. He almost bit his lip to stop him blurting it out and giving Bones the ‘upper hand’ already.
“So, you going to tell me about the prank?”
Bones laughed as he wrapped his arms around Jim’s shoulders and pulled him down close.
Jim rolled them so they were lying on their sides, face to face.
“Well?” Jim asked.
“Why would I do that?” Bones asked, pursing his lips a little and making Jim stare at them some more.
“You do, I’ll kiss you again,” Jim promised.
A little calculating look came in Bones’ eyes. “I don’t haveta and you still will.”
“That sure of yourself?” Jim asked.
Bones pressed their lower bodies even closer together and Jim realized exactly how hard he was, and even better, how hard Bones was.
“Yup,” Bones said.
“Tease.”
“Nope.”
“Nope?”
“A tease implies no follow through. In the three years you’ve known me, you think I’m not gonna follow through with a promise?” Bones asked, now looking serious.
Jim couldn’t resist and ran a hand up Bones’ back to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. “You are one very thorough man. So, what’s this epic prank?”
“There is no prank,” Bones said, arching his neck a little from Jim’s ministrations.
Jim filed away the fact that Bones became quite pliant when his neck was played with, and wondered what Bones would do if he kissed that area. Then he comprehended what Bones had just said. “You said there was going to be one.”
“Well, the prank is that there is no prank.” Bones was now almost purring, and his neck was exposed, so Jim took advantage, licking and applying little nips of affection to the soft skin.
“Explain,” Jim ordered, around the attention he was giving to Bones’ neck.
“I promised myself I would end our war no matter what. You’ve been all worked up for the past five days but I was never gonna do anything. That’s the prank.”
Jim pulled back to glare at Bones. “Fucker!”
Bones rolled so he was partially on top of Jim. “If you insist...”
Jim smacked a hand onto Bones’ shoulder. “That’s totally underhanded. We are limping back to Earth, Starfleet is holding back on us about information, we have a group of Vulcans who are devastated and a crew who are mostly inexperienced having to deal with something no being even should have to, and you thought now was the time to pull something like that?”
“Jim, think.” Bones said. “If I hadn’t, what would you have been stressing about instead? You needed an outlet for your worry, so I gave you something.”
Jim thought about it. Bones was his CMO and his key role, even before the medical care of the crew, was the medical care of the Captain. Jim was Acting-Captain and Bones knew him better than anyone. “So you did that as my CMO?”
“Yes. No.” Bones corrected himself.
“Which one is it, Bones?”
“No. I did it as your friend, but it helped keep you focused on something you couldn’t change which wouldn’t worry any of the other crew, and it gave them something to laugh about.”
Jim thought about it and it was, in its own way, clever. Even if it meant that the best prank either of them pulled was to not prank the other. Jim smiled. There was one advantage, and that was the press and promise of the man above him.
“This means we are even,” Jim observed.
“True.”
“We done?” Jim asked.
“Pranks?” Bones asked in return. “I’m good. But we done?” Here a very wicked smile was sent in Jim’s direction. “Hell no.”
After that it was a while before Jim needed to speak verbally again. Bones too.
-- Fin --
Beta: dizilla and aquila_star
Rating: R
Word Count: 6,224 (overall 23,000)
Pairings/Characters: Kirk/McCoy, Chapel, OMCs, OFCs, Enterprise crew (mentioned)
Warnings: bad language, innuendo and a whole lot of pranks going on
Disclaimer: Not mine, dammit!
Summary:
The legendary and epic prank war of 2257-2258 by cadets Kirk and McCoy.
Leonard might not have started it, but he was damn sure gonna finish it.
First Year here and at AO3 here.
Second year here and at AO3 here
Third year part a here and at AO3 here
Third year part b at AO3 here
A/N: A very long time ago I started on this fic, based off a prompt on the Kink meme about the idea of Kirk and McCoy pranking each other while at the Academy here. I didn’t use the two suggested pranks, but it is canon that McCoy was a very good prankster while at Ole Miss.
Thank you to those who have been reading along as this has been posted.
-- 22 --
It had taken Jim most of the morning to get the box to balance in the correct position inside the cupboard. Bones was a creature of habit and he always went to grab a change of clothing from the cupboard before getting out of his reds. Now all Jim had to do was wait for the reaction he was after from Bones. It was a pretty mild prank in comparison to some of their normal efforts, but the benefits from Bones’ last prank most definitely outweighed the negatives.
When he heard the door opening, Jim lifted up his PADD higher to cover his face and hopefully have Bones thinking he was being a good, studious student. For all that Jim knew, he had a great poker face, but there was something about Bones which made Jim just smirk that little bit and not be able to hide his devilry.
“Jim,” Bones said as he heard Bones’ bag drop onto his bed.
“Bones,” Jim replied. He held his breath and waited for Bones to head over to the cupboard.
As he headed over toward it, Jim lowered the PADD just a fraction so he could peek over the top and see the results.
Bones was mumbling some instructions to himself while he pushed on the door to make it slide open. Bones wasn’t looking up at the top shelf, but Jim was and watched as the edge of the door slid past the box and down it tipped, scattering ping pong balls all over Bones’ head. Then the box tipped the final way over the edge and it too tumbled down onto Bones.
Jim was laughing too hard to clearly hear the insults being thrown his way.
“Ow!” Jim said, as a ball bounced off his head.
Bones had managed to get his hands on one and had pitched it at Jim. Jim’s body was still shaking with laughter though, as the box was teetering on Bones’ shoulder and Jim could see the balls rolling around the floor.
“Infant!” Bones responded, before bending over.
Jim was pretty sure what his intentions were.
Jim jumped off the bed and retreated around the other side, but not before Bones managed to throw another ball at his back. He turned to look over his shoulder and see if Bones had managed to move from his spot, but Bones was in the process of throwing another ball in his direction. Jim used the PADD in his hand to swat the ball away before heading for the kitchen area and the protection afforded by the partition.
Jim put the PADD down on the counter while he gripped the edge and tried to still his laughter. Bones’ face was hilarious though, and the way he was swiveling his body from side to side while he tried to find something Jim could only presume would be a better option to throw, replacing the ineffective ping pong balls. The box had fallen down to the ground, but Bones seemed reluctant to move from his spot.
“I didn’t put any glue down,” Jim pointed out.
“Unbelievable,” Bones muttered before continuing in a louder voice. “I don’t want to step and slip on one of these stupid balls and break my neck. You are severely lacking in medical skills.”
“Hey! I passed our emergency medical first aid with flying colors, thank you very much,” Jim countered.
“And who helped you out with that?” Bones had been looking down at the floor and he gingerly took a step forward, and then another.
Jim bit his lip as he saw the direction Bones was heading in. The other cupboard in the room.
“That would be my awesome roomie,” Jim said back, hoping to distract Bones a little bit before he opened the cupboard.
It worked. Jim doubled over and held onto his stomach while his body jolted with wracks of laughter over the look on Bones’ face. The box in the second cupboard was more successfully placed and didn’t fall out, but it did release another torrent of ping pong balls.
“For God’s sake, Jim. Do all our closets have balls in them?” Bones glared in Jim’s direction.
“Maybe,” Jim conceded, for once ignoring the mention of balls and the chance for a double entendre.
“I give up!” Bones said as he carefully stepped over the new balls and, before Jim could protest, Bones had flopped back down to lay on Jim’s bed.
“Hey!” Jim protested.
“Whatcha gonna do, princess?” Bones asked. From the upside down angle his head was at when he titled it to look in Jim’s direction, Jim could see the mocking raise of that eyebrow which had been making a regular appearance for the past three years.
“Fine,” Jim said and wandered back around the partition so he could sit back on Bones’ bed, and lifted up the PADD so he could study for real. He heard Bones pull off his boots and then drop them onto the floor before settling back down into Jim’s bed.
“Does this mean I’ve won?” Jim asked, the silence finally getting to him after a while.
“No.”
“I’m up though, eleven to ten.”
“You think some damn balls gonna slow me down?”
Jim tried to hide his laughter, but a snicker escaped and Bones retaliated by swatting at him with his pillow. Jim thought about grabbing the pillow and starting a tug-o-war, but knew there were still two other cupboards holding balls inside.
“You love me.” Jim knew the smile on his face was more a smirk than a wider smile, but Bones was too easy to rile up sometimes.
“Yeah, well,” Bones said as he tucked the pillow back behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. “It’s ten all.”
“Is not,” Jim retorted.
“The plumbing calls didn’t work and stealing my clothes and towel didn’t really work either. So ten all.”
Jim opened his mouth to protest about the stealing of the clothing being a win, but the image of Bones, naked, and walking in a manner which Gaila would call a ‘saunter’ came back to mind. Jim decided to let Bones consider that a failed prank.
Jim mused to himself that sometimes it was better to regroup before going on the attack again.
-- 23 --
Christine accepted the drink from Fi, and, while her fellow nursing students were engaged in conversation, drinks laughingly swapped back and forth, she glanced around the room. A look over her shoulder to where the pool tables were set up had her stopping her wandering perusal to concentrate on the two men she recognized. Leonard McCoy, a doctor in the medical and command track, and his roommate, the man a lot of the cadets had opinions about, Jim Kirk.
Like Christine herself, they were in civvies, and for once Dr. McCoy’s hair wasn’t as perfect as she normally saw it. The few times they had worked on sims together she had been amazed at how perfectly neat he always was, no matter how nuts things became. It was no wonder he was so highly thought of by the instructors, and how disliked he was by the more politically minded cadets who knew a threat to their standing when they saw it.
Sometimes though, he would open his mouth and his neat and tidy appearance was overruled by the chaos that came forth. Out would come a Southern accent which made her think of home, and he could be as sarcastic and cutting as the best of them. When there was praise to be dealt out, he wasn’t stingy with it, but if you performed lower than his expectations, you sure heard about it. He was hardest on himself and it was that which made Christine determined to be at the top of the class so she could be earmarked for the Enterprise, just like Dr. McCoy was rumored to be.
The newest ship, the best technology Starfleet had to offer, and being helmed by Captain Pike, Commandant of Cadets? Every cadet worth their salt wanted to be on it.
Jim Kirk was another matter entirely. He was cocky, but with charm and could back up the cockiness with ability. A few would make comments about his conquests but it was rare to hear a bad word said about him from those he had conquered. If he was as bad as some would make him out to be, then Christine was sure those would have been the first people making the complaints.
He and Dr. McCoy were as thick as thieves and had been from the start of their Academy days. Both were at the top of most of their classes. They were a conundrum, and her father had always said that Christine couldn’t resist a logic puzzle.
It was that which made her choose Nursing instead of her initial preference of Bioscience. Her mother had shaken her head once Christine had made the choice, lamenting as to why she didn’t choose Medicine, even though she had the test scores. Her father had come to her rescue once again, hushing her mother and smiling at her in understanding. Nursing meant you were at the coalface and always treating the person. A doctor would come and go. They were a necessary evil.
She blinked as her thoughts returned her to the present and the sight of one of those necessary evils leaning forward over the table with an excellent view of one of his best assets on display. Christine smiled into her drink as she took a sip to hide it. Her friends were all loudly talking over the top of each other and there were hand signals about their intentions to head toward the dance floor. She stayed twisted in her seat, facing the pool tables, and noted she wasn’t the only one admiring the fine ass of Dr. McCoy.
Fi tapped her on the shoulder and Christine shook her head at her, waving Fi off in the direction of the dance floor. The others left of their group were acquaintances and not close friends, so Christine slipped off the stool and wandered over to a space where she could watch Kirk and Dr. McCoy and not be spotted doing so.
A tall fern hid her from the main area, and there was a stool nearby which she pulled over. From her vantage point, Kirk was definitely checking out the good doctor. Christine had heard Kirk was dating an Orion in the Engineering track, but there was definitely nothing against looking in her book.
Dr. McCoy made his shot and it was good enough that it caused a groan of dismay from Kirk. The response from Dr. McCoy to Kirk’s dismay was obviously a challenge. They were standing close, very close, which made Christine think that the rumors about the two of them did seem to have some heat behind them.
Whatever Kirk was trying to cajole his way out of seemed not to be working, especially when Dr. McCoy held out his hand and, with a put upon expression, Kirk handed over some credit chips. There was no touching between them though, so Christine rethought the rumors. They were definitely close and comfortable within each other’s personal space. She herself didn’t like others to come too close. She valued her privacy, which was sorely being tested after living with another cadet for the past four years. Kirk’s face had changed as soon as Dr. McCoy looked in his direction.
She took another long sip of her cocktail, pondering this new information. Kirk had moved around the other side of the table, racking the balls up again presumably for another game. Dr. McCoy had one hip cocked as he rested against the table, and he was turned slightly so Christine got a good look at his face. Mischievous was the only word which came to mind. He spoke to Kirk, who looked up with his own smirk. Dr. McCoy’s face looked a little more serious when Kirk looked up, like a mask had descended over it, hiding the mischief away. He was up to something.
Dr. McCoy still had hold of his pool cue, it was extended out to the side so his arm was stretched out. His shirt sleeves were rolled up revealing the strong muscles on his forearms. He was a very well built man and while many within the medical track had made a play for his attention, he had kept most of his liaisons outside of those who might be a subordinate of his later.
It seemed to be a challenge of some sort that Dr. McCoy was suggesting. He had picked up the white ball and showed it to Kirk before making a motion around the table.
Kirk nodded his acceptance and found the white ball being tossed in his direction. It wasn’t too hard a throw, but from experience Christine knew it would still hurt a bit to catch a ball that solid. She got another exceptional view of Dr. McCoy’s ass when he leaned over and selected a ball from out of the triangle. He walked down to the other end and placed it close to the side. To shoot from the line it would take some skill to put it in a pocket. It wasn’t that hard, though. From the look of disbelief on Kirk’s face, he didn’t seem to think it was beyond him either. Dr. McCoy walked around the other side of the table, making Christine focus on his upper body this time, and the loping movement of his walk.
Kirk moved to collect his pool cue again but Dr. McCoy stopped him with a word and a shake of his head. He lifted up his own cue and Kirk just shrugged in response. Next, Dr. McCoy mimed his hands being cupped and looking down intently at them. When Kirk nodded, Dr. McCoy moved the rack and the other balls over to the side, presumably out of the way. With an airy wave of his hand, he motioned for Kirk to commence whatever challenge was about to happen.
Sure enough, the white cue ball was cupped in Kirk’s hand and, head down, he started to walk around the table, focusing on just watching the ball. Each step was a careful pace so as not to get too disorientated. Christine was confused as to how this would be much of a challenge, but she looked over at Dr. McCoy when she heard him tell Kirk, “Focus on the ball only, Jim. Shouldn’t be too hard for you!”
Kirk took the opportunity to keep his focus down, but he lifted up one hand to flip the bird at Dr. McCoy, who laughed before licking his thumb.
Christine didn’t understand why he licked his thumb until she saw him rub it over the top of the pool cue. The sneak was wiping off the chalk from the end of the cue! Dr. McCoy was keeping his attention solely on Kirk as he kept up the slow and careful removal of the chalk. Kirk walked around the table a total of three times and at the end of the final lap he smirked at Dr. McCoy as he held his hand out for the cue.
Christine had to slap a hand over her mouth to stop what she was sure would be revealing laughter. She also stopped a gasp escaping as she took in Dr. McCoy giving Kirk a good look over. Where Kirk had been shameless in his earlier ogling of Dr. McCoy’s ass, Dr. McCoy was using a slow and heated gaze which started at the back of Kirk’s neck and was slowly working its way down his body.
It appeared the pair of them would take any opportunity to look the other over with interest, but only when the other was not aware of the gaze. She would have pondered it further, but Kirk had just discovered that the cue slipped off the white ball, and his attempt at a shot petered out even before the white ball got two thirds of the way down the table.
“No way!” she heard Kirk proclaim loudly as he turned back to face a now smirking Dr. McCoy.
“Told ya,” Dr. McCoy replied, crossing his arms over his chest, smirk firmly in place.
“What did you do?” Kirk accused.
“Sore loser,” was the reply he received.
Kirk pointed a finger at Dr. McCoy, narrowed his eyes and then rested the cue stick on the table. He stalked around to collect the cue ball again, pointed his finger once more at a now laughing Dr. McCoy and started the whole process over, focusing on the ball. Dr. McCoy leaned forward and grabbed the stick. If Kirk noticed, he probably would have put it down to Dr. McCoy just being neighborly and making sure the stick was out of his way so he didn’t trip over it. Christine knew better.
Three laps and there was even less chalk on the head of the cue stick. This time she was better prepared for the miss, and it was a spectacular miss. The ball hardly moved as the stick slid off the ball with a snick so loud, she could hear it from where she was sitting.
Kirk was looking at the stick, perplexed. There was enough chalk still on there, and Dr. McCoy wasn’t laughing, just a very pleased smirk on his face. The smirk wasn’t wiped off when Jim grabbed the chalk that was sitting on the side of the table. He chalked up the stick and tossed it at Dr. McCoy, who caught it easily in one hand.
Again, Kirk picked up the white ball and started to walk around the table with his head down. Dr. McCoy continued to remove the chalk, but on the second walk around some movement caught Kirk’s attention and he caught Dr. McCoy in the act.
“Fucker!” Kirk exclaimed, but he had a smile on his face.
He put the ball down on the table and walked over to Dr. McCoy. Kirk grabbed the doctor’s hand and inspected the end of his fingertips. Christine held her breath to see if Kirk would glance up quick enough to notice the look of pure hunger on Dr. McCoy’s face. He didn’t.
Christine’s opportunity to watch them was almost over. Kirk wrapped an arm around the shoulders of Dr. McCoy and with some quiet words, they headed away from the table. Dr. McCoy put the cue back in the rack as they passed close enough, but Christine observed that Kirk didn’t disconnect his hold of the other man. She had turned her back to them so she wouldn’t be observed watching them. But she couldn’t resist an attempt with a sneaky little look. They walked behind her, Kirk’s arm still around Dr. McCoy and as they continued to walk away, she noticed Dr. McCoy was leaning into Kirk. Even though there was a group of people ahead of them, they could not be separated and they moved as one, twisting slightly to work through the crowd.
When they were out of her sight, she picked up her now empty glass and returned to the group, seeing that she arrived back at the table at the same time as the other half who had been on the dance floor. While the rest of the evening was amusing and fun, a nice time to let her hair down in a way, she would still wonder about the two men and if anything was going to happen with their seemingly strong attraction to each other.
-- 24 --
An incessant buzzing had Bones turning over in his bed, pulling the cover up a little higher, all the better to attempt to ignore the sound. It didn’t work. The buzzing ceased for a moment and he relaxed, trying to lull himself back into sleep, but it started up again. With a growl, he pushed the covers down and rolled back over to glare at the comm unit.
Along with the buzzing was a little flashing light indicating an incoming message. The chrono was telling him it was 0330 and Jim’s bed was empty. His annoyance slightly dipped as he considered it could be something urgent from Jim and not just something to prevent him from getting a proper night’s sleep before Jim’s third Kobayashi Maru test.
He hit the open line button on the comm unit. “Hello?”
“Let me speak to Cindy,” the voice replied.
Bones was confused. The only person in the room was him. Jim was out on a training course with his defense class.
“Who?” Bones replied, sitting up on his bed now, rubbing at his eyes before glaring at the comm unit as if answers would be forthcoming immediately.
“I said, put Cindy on the phone!” The voice was pretty demanding now.
“You’ve got the wrong number,” Bones replied. He sighed, realizing that sleep was now likely to elude him for a good while.
“Asshole, put Cindy on the phone now!”
Something about the voice was nagging at the back of Bones’ mind. He was sure he knew it. “There’s no Cindy here. You sure you don’t have the wrong number?”
“Of course I don’t have the wrong number.” The voice, which was definitely male and had a little inflection on some of the words indicating an Asian background.
Bones knew this because Jim had shown off his skills a few weeks ago one lunchtime. He had got Bones to join in his game of closing his eyes and listening to people speak and coming up with their linguistic background. They both made a few wrong calls, but one they did get right was Lieutenant Tao, a fellow cadet in Jim’s Hand to Hand class. This voice was remarkably like Tao’s.
“I know where you live! Let me talk to her.” Bones had closed his eyes, all the better to listen and there, faint in the background was a chuckle he knew almost as well as the freckles on his own face.
“Okay, okay,” Bones offered in a placating tone as he paused and tried to hear anything else in the background which would confirm that this was Jim’s idea. There wasn’t anything but his own intuition, so he went with it.
“Can she call you back? She's in the shower with my roommate.”
Bones didn’t allow a response, just broke off the communication. He sat for a moment waiting to see if he would get a call back. When a minute passed with no response, Bones smirked as he slid back down fully under the covers and attempted to reclaim his lost sleep. As his mind flitted back and forth, as it was wont to do just before sleep, he wondered if Jim would fess up tomorrow. He also wondered if this could be considered a failed prank or not? It would probably count as a successful one, Bones was woken up and he did have to reply to Tao.
-- 25 --
Jim was tired, sore, and feeling like he was balancing on the edge of a knife. The trip back to Earth was taking longer than everyone would like. Communications from Starfleet were short and anything which was broached about the Narada and the future ramifications were brushed to the side. Talk was rife amongst the ship and the presence of the remaining Vulcan High Council, who despite mostly keeping to themselves, only added to the tension. To make him feel even more on edge, there was Bones. Bones had laid out a challenge five days ago, that within the next five days he would play a big prank on Jim, who would be powerless to stop it.
The fifth day was almost over and it hadn’t come to fruition yet. Most of those days, Jim had spent thinking about what Bones could or would do. He had tried to put himself in Bones’ position, re-living the sorts of pranks which Bones had pulled and trying to see if there was any pattern to them. Jim had been teased by Sulu, and even Chekov had gotten in on the teasing, with the caution Jim was taking all over the ship. Uhura had obviously let them in on the war which had been ongoing between him and Bones since first year. A betting book had been opened up by Scotty on different options for Bones’ prank. When Bones heard about it, he just laughed, smiled at Jim, and patted Scotty on the shoulder before walking out of the Mess. Jim was adamant he had not pouted. No matter what Uhura said.
There were only a few hours left in the day and Jim was about to head to the one place where he hoped he would be ‘safe’, although the amount of pranks they had played against each other in their rooms had proved otherwise. With a deep breath, Jim coded in his access and the door opened to the room he was sharing with Bones. Pike’s room had been given over to some of the Vulcan High Command. With all the chaos from the encounter, more rooms were needed to put the wounded and the rescued Vulcans, Jim was happy to be assigned in with Bones. It was going to be strange to finally not share a room with the man when this may likely never happen again once it was all over.
Lights were down to about 20 percent, Jim noted. Enough so he could see the outline of Bones, who was lying back on his bed, PADD resting on his lap as he read from it. The glow from the PADD gave him an eerie look, emphasizing all the angles on his face.
“Bones,” Jim said as he walked across to his own bed.
Bones just grunted an acknowledgement.
Jim was about to toe off his boots when he thought to check the bed and underneath for any nasty surprises. The covers got pulled back quickly, but there was nothing he could see lurking within to give a shock. Bones had also said he wasn’t going to repeat any prank, so things were unlikely to happen to Jim while he slept. Nothing was under the bed either, but Jim called for the lights to 100 percent just to check again and be sure.
It was with hesitation Jim sat down on the bed and finally started to pull off his boots. Bones was still ignoring him and reading the PADD, which made Jim suspicious. He hated feeling this unsure. He liked to be in control, and he knew that Bones knew it too.
“Where is it?” Jim demanded, putting his hands on his knees and leaning forward.
“Hmm?” Bones asked, with an attempt at a disinterested look in Jim’s direction, before he was back to focusing on the PADD once again.
It was too much for Jim. With a step he was across the small space between their beds and had snatched the PADD out of Bones’ hands.
“Hey!” Bones protested, finally looking up at Jim.
“Goddammit, Bones!” Jim exclaimed, using Bones’ favorite expression.
“Give it back, Jim,” Bones ordered, gesturing with one hand.
Jim’s inner child, which contrary to Bones’ occasional grumble, was not always the first in line to his decision making process, came to the fore.
“Don’t wanna,” Jim said as he lifted the PADD up high in the air.
“Jim,” Bones warned and out came that eyebrow raise of his.
Jim smirked and waited to see what Bones was going to do about it.
As Jim suspected, Bones swung his legs around so one was on either side of Jim, and stood up. Jim had stepped almost right up to the bed just before, and it meant that Bones was now pretty much pressed up body on body with Jim. Jim wasn’t going to be the one to concede and back away, so he just held the PADD further back which would make it harder for Bones to get it. Bones tried to reach it, but Jim just smirked even more. There was a calculating look in Bones’ eyes, and just when Jim thought he was going to try and bring both hands up to tug on Jim’s arm, he instead found his face being cradled in Bones’ palms and then Bones was kissing him! Kissing him!
Before Jim could really fully process what was happening, Bones was no longer kissing him and was in fact back on his bed, PADD in his hands again.
Jim just stood there for a moment, a little stunned. He felt hot and flushed and totally confused, before feeling a flicker of anger at Bones using a trick like that just to get back the PADD. Jim ran a hand through his hair as he took a few steps away, then turned back and pointed an accusing finger at Bones.
“That was sneaky and underhanded!”
“Thought you would appreciate my tactical nous,” Bones replied, refusing to look at Jim.
“That wasn’t the prank?” Jim asked, sure it wasn’t, but wanting to check.
“No.”
Jim narrowed his eyes as he looked at the calm, supine position of Bones. Then something caught his eye. Bones’ hands were shaking. Tiny little shakes, but they were there if you were looking closely, and Jim had been looking closely at Bones for a very long time. It was probably why the kiss had shaken him so much. It was only this year that he had finally realized how attracted he was to Bones, but he wasn’t going to make a move unless Bones showed he was interested too. Jim never went after anyone who wasn’t attracted to him; Uhura had little body quirks which showed she was attracted to Jim on a physical level, so he wasn’t completely barking up the wrong tree there. Bones though, as much as he knew this man, he also didn’t know him sometimes.
It was time to test a theory.
The PADD was just as easy to remove this time as it was the last, but instead of holding on to it, Jim tossed it onto his bed and straddled Bones’ body. He gripped Bones’ upper arms, holding him in place.
“Jim!” Bones had a look about his eyes like an animal that was trapped and trying to figure out the angles in order to escape.
The one thing Jim was sure about was that Bones wouldn’t try and buck him off. Jim could see the pulse beating at the base of his throat. It wasn’t slow. It was going at a pace similar to Jim’s own.
“You know I am sure that wasn’t the prank,” Jim said as he leaned forward, watching Bones intently.
Instead of ignoring the feel of Bones under his hands, Jim was cataloguing everything his senses were telling him. The heat and the tremble of Bones’ body, the scent which was all man and Bones. The hints of his aftershave, which was now almost faded after a full day of work, all blended with the smell unique to medical professionals.
“I said it wasn’t,” Bones said.
“You want to know the reason why?”
“I know the reason why, but you’re gonna tell me anyway, ain’t ya?” Bones complained.
“Your hands trembled,” Jim said as he leaned in really close, almost close enough to kiss Bones, noting the flare in Bones’ eyes, before he tried to hide his discomfort.
Bones’ lips were set together, refusing to give anything away, but the simple fact he did it was giving it away to Jim’s trained eye. If Bones could have the last word, he would. Holding back and not speaking, it was obvious Bones was trying to hide something.
Jim’s next move was going to be to lean back and question Bones more, to find out about the prank, but Bones was right there. Those lips were there and Jim wanted a real memory of kissing them.
They were soft and Bones inhaled slightly at the press of their lips together. Jim pressed more, wanting more, his hands sliding up to card through Bones’ hair, touch the rough stubble which adorned Bones’ cheeks, following a slow path down his neck to the base and back up again. One kiss became many slow, careful ones and with every movement Jim learned something new. At some stage Jim realized he was lying fully on Bones, who had his arms around Jim, one hand resting on the small of Jim’s back and the other around his shoulders.
“Bones,” Jim said in wonder as he slowly opened his eyes.
The nickname on his lips was enough for a soft smile to grace Bones’ own lips. “Yeah,” Bones agreed, almost only breathing the word out.
Jim opened his mouth to speak but he just didn’t know what to say. It was a new feeling for him. He closed his mouth as Bones dragged a finger down his cheek and then, even slower, making progress across Jim’s lips. He opened them just slightly, but let Bones dictate what was going to happen next. Bones rested his finger in middle of Jim’s lips, with just the slightest of pressure.
“How long?” Jim asked.
It brought Bones’ eye-line back up to Jim’s, distracting him from the intensity which he had been gazing at Jim’s lips.
“A while,” Bones replied.
Jim smiled. “Yeah, me too.”
Bones snorted.
“I totally did!”
Up went the eyebrow again. God, Bones was sexy when he did that, Jim couldn’t help the thought from crossing his mind. He almost bit his lip to stop him blurting it out and giving Bones the ‘upper hand’ already.
“So, you going to tell me about the prank?”
Bones laughed as he wrapped his arms around Jim’s shoulders and pulled him down close.
Jim rolled them so they were lying on their sides, face to face.
“Well?” Jim asked.
“Why would I do that?” Bones asked, pursing his lips a little and making Jim stare at them some more.
“You do, I’ll kiss you again,” Jim promised.
A little calculating look came in Bones’ eyes. “I don’t haveta and you still will.”
“That sure of yourself?” Jim asked.
Bones pressed their lower bodies even closer together and Jim realized exactly how hard he was, and even better, how hard Bones was.
“Yup,” Bones said.
“Tease.”
“Nope.”
“Nope?”
“A tease implies no follow through. In the three years you’ve known me, you think I’m not gonna follow through with a promise?” Bones asked, now looking serious.
Jim couldn’t resist and ran a hand up Bones’ back to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. “You are one very thorough man. So, what’s this epic prank?”
“There is no prank,” Bones said, arching his neck a little from Jim’s ministrations.
Jim filed away the fact that Bones became quite pliant when his neck was played with, and wondered what Bones would do if he kissed that area. Then he comprehended what Bones had just said. “You said there was going to be one.”
“Well, the prank is that there is no prank.” Bones was now almost purring, and his neck was exposed, so Jim took advantage, licking and applying little nips of affection to the soft skin.
“Explain,” Jim ordered, around the attention he was giving to Bones’ neck.
“I promised myself I would end our war no matter what. You’ve been all worked up for the past five days but I was never gonna do anything. That’s the prank.”
Jim pulled back to glare at Bones. “Fucker!”
Bones rolled so he was partially on top of Jim. “If you insist...”
Jim smacked a hand onto Bones’ shoulder. “That’s totally underhanded. We are limping back to Earth, Starfleet is holding back on us about information, we have a group of Vulcans who are devastated and a crew who are mostly inexperienced having to deal with something no being even should have to, and you thought now was the time to pull something like that?”
“Jim, think.” Bones said. “If I hadn’t, what would you have been stressing about instead? You needed an outlet for your worry, so I gave you something.”
Jim thought about it. Bones was his CMO and his key role, even before the medical care of the crew, was the medical care of the Captain. Jim was Acting-Captain and Bones knew him better than anyone. “So you did that as my CMO?”
“Yes. No.” Bones corrected himself.
“Which one is it, Bones?”
“No. I did it as your friend, but it helped keep you focused on something you couldn’t change which wouldn’t worry any of the other crew, and it gave them something to laugh about.”
Jim thought about it and it was, in its own way, clever. Even if it meant that the best prank either of them pulled was to not prank the other. Jim smiled. There was one advantage, and that was the press and promise of the man above him.
“This means we are even,” Jim observed.
“True.”
“We done?” Jim asked.
“Pranks?” Bones asked in return. “I’m good. But we done?” Here a very wicked smile was sent in Jim’s direction. “Hell no.”
After that it was a while before Jim needed to speak verbally again. Bones too.
-- Fin --