I'm so sick and tired of people who just wanna lose a few pounds so they pretend to have an ed. It drives me freaking insane! What part of having an ed do people think would be fun? Is trying to ignore that you're hungry because you're scared that by eating anything at all, you'll balloon up fun? Is crying all alone after you just threw up ( Read more... )

I don't trust my scale anymore. I woke up today feeling skinnier after some major restricting and a long day of work (aka being on my feet all day and climbing shelves) so I decided to weigh myself. It said I was 2.5 pounds lighter. I didn't believe it so I weighed myself again. But that time it said I was 1 pound heavier. Ugh...it's so frustrating ( Read more... )

I hate myself. I hate my fat body, I hate my skin, I hate my personality. I can't stand it. I just need to stop eating. Once I get thin, I'll be able to be confident about myself. My personality will be better, and my skin should be clearer.
I really do hate myself.

Been a while since I actually updated my journal, not just in a community.
All I can say right now is that I'm so depressed...out of my mind depressed. I lost weight for Halloween and within a week I gained it all back plus one pound. I can't go on like this. It's either extremely drastic measures, or I think I'm just gunna give up all together.

I thought I was getting better. I thought I could manage with no restricting, no purging, no cutting...but how can I be so sure of myself when I'm becoming this fat piece of lard again? I was so happy with my new life, but how could I be so sure it would all last? My friends left, my family left...I had almost nothing. My boyfriend is there for me ( Read more... )

I feel like nothing's going right in my life lately...3 people I know were in a car crash friday morning that killed 2 of them and a girl I don't know, and injured the other guy I know and his friend. I still can't believe it actually happened...then I've been hearing the guy I'm seeing is a major player (which is totally fricken awesome cuz I just ( Read more... )

So I was doing so well for the last couple of days restricting-wise and emotion-wise...I was really happy and busy, so I wasn't tempted to eat and I actually lost 3.5 pounds in a day and a half. Well anyways...today I have just been feeling really depressed all day...it all starts with this one boy...
I had this crush on a guy I used to work with  ( Read more... )

I don't deserve food...I deserve to suffer until I'm skin and bones...cuz If I eat I'll only disapoint myself further
I just can't take it...I'm too tired to go on

 So yesterday I had half a can of Pepsi because my dad gave it to me when we went to a movie and I would have felt bad if I didn't drink at least some of it. Then I went to my friend who was having people over for a bonfire and I binged on chips and marshmellows. I felt like crap when I got home and was going to work out till I could die but I was ( Read more... )

 I feel so unbelievably crappy and I have no idea why I feel so bad. I woke up in an ok mood, even considering it was 8:15am and had finally fell asleep at 3am. I jogged for 15 minutes over to my cousins house so we could go jogging and then we went jogging around the "lake" she lives by. I could barely run after I got to the lake. We made it ( Read more... )