It's amazing to me..
It's amazing to me how much of a history you can have with someone, and with the flip of a switch the mind will stop caring and risk everything. Men are amazing to me, give them a little responsibility and it's too overwhelming. Not in most cases, but in cases where the man has been spoiled his whole life. I knew this about Jason, i knew he was immature, i knew he was scared to move out, i knew he was an emotional person. But i still loved him. I thought i knew exactly what kind of person he was. I was wrong. He is and forever will be a Basse Boy. If he thinks that i'm going to wait around for him for a month, he's wrong. I know he's on a path of self discovery, but there is no reason i can't be a part of that. If you love someone unconditionally you wont leave them behind you. I guess we both just want different things. i want to grow up and live my life and jason insists on being a kid forever. This is the life he is choosing. From here, i think it will only get harder for him and i feel bad for him. But there is nothing i can do about it. Any choice he makes is ultimately his. I'm moving forward and wish he would be part of it.. considering that is what he led me to believe he wanted. I feel like i've been lied to about everything. I know at one point he did love me, he did care, he did want the same things i did. But now that we're on our own, he bails. Gives up on everything, because thats what he does... he gets scared and gives up. i love him sooooo much but i can't deal with this anymore. i'm waiting two weeks... and if he hasn't called me or tried to contact me... i guess i'll have my answer. I hope he and his cousins have the time of their lives and i hope his choice is worth it.
I hate the way things are now. I feel like i'll be fine but somedays are harder than others. He will never know what he's done to me. Good and bad.
I hate the way things are now. I feel like i'll be fine but somedays are harder than others. He will never know what he's done to me. Good and bad.