While trying to write a summary for Witches' Mark:

Me: MAN. It's really hard to summarize a paranormal romance in such a way that it doesn't sound like every other paranormal romance out there. I have to try to emphasize what makes it different ( Read more... )

Sargon: *opens Netflix envelope* We got Revenge of the Ninja.

Naamah: Cool! What's it about?

Sargon: . . .

Naamah: . . . That was a stupid question. I'm sorry.

As it turns out, this movie is horrible and absolutely hilarious. There is nothing cool about it at all. We are not even ten minutes in and I've already barked at the screen three ( Read more... )

And of course after writing the last entry, my husband would have to go and write some really excellent Victorian-era porn that resorts to lots of euphemisms and uses the word "buttocks" in a way that didn't make me wince. He had the same basic set of restrictions (inexperienced character, Victorian era, narrator unlikely to use profanity of any ( Read more... )

Sargon: *SKREEEEEK!*

Naamah: What the fuck was that about? No, really, what the fuck was that?!

Sargon: I wanted to make a noise like a pterodactyl. What's complicated about that?

"I'm a werewolf."

There's only three possible statements that can follow this revelation.

"Chain me up!"

"Run!"

"Check this out!"

I just got back from the clinic, and now I have new holes in me. The tech popped the vein on my right arm, giving me a nice bruise. Not her fault, though. My veins are very small, and they roll, and now that I've put some weight on, they are difficult to find. Also, I hadn't had much to drink ( Read more... )

Me: "Will you still love me even when I'm old and saggy?"

Sargon: "I'm looking forward to it. You'll get that fluffy, wiggly skin on the backs of your upper arms."

Me: ". . ."

Sargon: "Before I die I will know for sure that an old lady's arm fat has been jizzed on."

Me: ". . . Oh my god. That is so gross. I'm going upstairs. I don't believe ( Read more... )

I posted this memory as a reply in metaquotes, but I don't want you guys to miss it. The story has some deep relevance, and I think it might help you to find some kind of meaning in life. It says important things about art and communication and true love and snowballing your girlfriend. Failing that, it's funny as hell, and I don't want to lose track of ( Read more... )

Upon returning from Borders:

Sargon: Go on. Put the damn CD in. You know you want to.

Me: *puts H.I.M. CD in player*

Sargon: *makes scrunchy face*

Me: *rocks out*

Sargon: Okay. All I'm going to say is -- and I swear this is all I'm going to say -- is that you should be embarrassed to listen to something this trendy.

Me: Hey, I never said ( Read more... )