Just got out of prison and now I'm going back to court. You'll never guess why though. Kidnapping!!! That's right! They've call me anything to throw me back in jail. Even if it isn't true ( Read more... )

When did prison lose it's cool? I can't believe that these people waste their time arresting these chicken shit assholes. I never want to go back to prison again! All they ever do is sit in their cells and read! One of those assholes, Richard, talks to the guards constantly. So of course, I filled a bag full of bars of soap and tried to enlist ( Read more... )

That's right. I'm being charged with assault. What could be better around this time of year? Who's the helpless victim? Some girl named Debbie who claims that I assaulted her outside a night club last weekend. Did I assault a girl outside of a nightclub this weekend? Yes I did. I suppose. But this girl was asking for it. And I'm not saying ( Read more... )

OK so I've gotten like 5 phone calls today from all these guys saying that they wanted their money back for these pills that I sold them because "They didn't make their penis's any bigger." Well hello I never said that they would stupid! And why would you think that a pill would? All I told them was that they were pills to make you more ( Read more... )

Ok so as some of you might know Dan got out of the police acadamy last week and now he's trying to ruin my life ( Read more... )

Ok since when are doctors such assholes? I thought that they were there to help people but I guess I was wrong. I went today and we were talking and I was just asking him if there was any way that I could get some kind of surgery that would enable me to dunk in basketball. And he gives me this look like that was the stupidest thing he had ever ( Read more... )

So I met Splinter today. We were talking for a while he's a pretty weird guy. I was telling him about my Dad and how we don't talk and how I think that he doesn't love me. Really I was just trying to re-create that scene between Splinter and Danny in the first Ninja Turtles movie but he was being really stupid the whole time going "Boy, I wish ( Read more... )

It turns out that Shredder read my last entry and is now planning on kicking me out of the Foot Clan. He was also mad because I refused to fight someone after I had just got done painting my nails. Hello! But seriously, how is he even going to know if I'm there? Were all wearing masks you know? I'm just going to tell him that I'm Danny. If he ( Read more... )

Well, I figured I needed to learn some discipline like those JROTC kids in high school and since my mothers not going to teach it to me I decided I needed to join the Foot Clan. And at first I thought it was going to be cool like you know we could all just sit around and bullshit all day as long as we brought our purple tights to school and wore ( Read more... )

I fucking said after Flip Saunders got fired from the T-Wolves that we should get rid of Larry Brown and hire him and that's what they did and LOOK AT THEM NOW! They should definatly give me a job. I could stand at the door of the locker room and talk shit to the players as they walk out for the game so that they can be all angry and stuff for ( Read more... )