man i love my family...NOT

[missingkitsune]

as most of you who have stuck by me, know i have a kinda hate/hate relationship with my family *both sides*

last week my mom went in for surgery on her throat. now to start this off i should kinda explain something...for the last year or so her voice has been vanishing till it was barely a whisper, *that's a good and bad thing* so finally she went

Comments

[helliongoddess]

Believe me, I understand, kiddo. You know how complicated and messed up my relationship with my parents is. I know it will sound horrible to some of the people that are lucky enough to have great parents who they love and get along wonderfully with, but in a lot of ways, it will be a relief to me when mine are gone - and I really mean that and feel no guilt in saying it (and it took me a long time to get to that point.) So I totally understand.

Your feelings are your feelings. You can't change how you feel just because someone is sick, dying, whatever. It is what it is. Your family made choices along the way that led to your having the sentiments you have now, and this is the result. You make the choice now to decide what to do with your feelings. You could choose to force yourself to act the attentive, dutiful, loving daughter if you wanted to - but what would it accomplish? If it really would do you and your mother both any good, and you want to do it, then by all means try. But if not - and I suspect that - like with my parents, it would be a waste of effort and do you more harm than good - why bother? Accept your feelings for what they are, do what feels right to you, and let the chips fall where they may. Karma, my dear: the wheel doth turn. Just detach as much as you can. Muichi motsu, babe.