My psych doctor had ordered some blood work done to find out why I was so lethargic all the time. I could sleep all night, wake up and two hours later be sound asleep again for hours. Blood work showed low vitamin D levels, some extra white cell counts and problems with my kidneys (yike here we go again) I was suppose to see my primary care doc ( Read more... )

It’s not just the fact that I’m fat or ugly or that I’m old with lots and lots of gray hair. Those are horrifying enough to make me want to vomit violently, daily.

No the truly scary thing is occasionally I see my mother in the mirror.  I see her face. The scowl lines around her mouth. The jowls forming under my jaw. My nose is widening. I’m ( Read more... )

So apparently Mom's memorial service is on Tues 11-1 with a luncheon to follow.
I only found this out from a post on FB.
Thanks for letting me know sis. *sighs more*

I get she has lots on her mind, I really do. It's just I can't get over this resentment. Even now, even here I'm treated like a fucking outsider in my own supposed family.

I haven't done an update-y thing in a long while so here goes ( Read more... )

This is my freedom day.


( Read more... )

i ran into an acquaintance  of the family here, she was entering the medical building where i was getting ready to leave and since i hadn't seen her for a few years we did a quick catch up, which was nice ( Read more... )

went to my doctor today to address the problems i've been having with my lower back once again ( Read more... )

i've always had vivid dreams even as a small child.
so i thought i'd regale you all with the horror.

( to the happy home, with trees and flowers and chirping bird and i'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats..... )

hey so long time no see....

i've been really down lately and not felt like posting much. and rp-ing has eaten the rest of my life.

so not that much has happened until yesterday. i called my dad, *not stepdad* and found out that one of his ex's had cancer, brain tumors and something else i don't remember. they only found out a few weeks ago, (but ( Read more... )

before the day is over......
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SON NICK.

so onward to other news. had a surprise phone call yesterday....
my mom,
yeah i know, but she sounded good,  but weak yet. she called to say happy birthday to the boy. and just a few moments ago sis called to do the same thing.