i feel wrong. out of place. i've never felt so awkward around people in my life. like everyone is moving forward and moving on but i'm stuck in one frame. and everyone can see that but no one really cares, because a good friend for a day doesn't always mean a good friend for life. i don't like today because today everyone is only best friends ( Read more... )

a really close family friend is in a coma right now.
(and has been for over a week)
he was driving home after work when he was hit by a car going the wrong way on 77.

please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

i just want to be outside right now. it feels like spring and i'm dying to take some photos. but i'm stuck at work until 7. and how do i get stuck with the manchester road location every saturday now? the couter is right in the entrance of acme and although it's not negative degrees today (when it is the snow blows right into your face and ( Read more... )

i wish through all these moments of insecurity and doubt i could find the one thing that brings me sanity. this feeling in my gut, is it the result of always wanting what i can't have? or wanting what i should have? and not knowing how to achieve so. is there ever a right time for anything or anyone? and if i have to question right timing does ( Read more... )

I AM GOING TO CHICAGO.
NOVEMBER 11.
YES!

so i'm sitting at work watching full house (yes my job is wonderful sometimes) and the episode seems to speak directly to me. odd how that happens sometimes. funny, but odd ( Read more... )

the decks just build and break ( Read more... )

tomorrow morning my brother, loren, is driving to california. to live. and work. and start a new life. i am proud of him, yes. but soon it will hit me that the distance between us is much more than just a street block. mom is a mess. it's the first one of us (dan, loren, and i) is truly leaving the nest. i don't want to say i took him being ( Read more... )

as discussed with stephanie, how insane a sane brain can be. constantly, all day everyday, we are receiving new and different information. commercials, street signs, faces, names, conversations, movies, pictures.. and more than just objects that can be looked at or written down.. but specific movements and gestures, emotions and smells. how ( Read more... )

the first and second granddaughters of vincent and annette decosta. corey came shortly after me. we never liked to share our toys. corey liked to cry these big crocodile tears that got her out of any trouble that may have ensued, and i liked to scream at the top of my lungs which quickly labeled me as the 'brat.' over 19 years has passed since ( Read more... )