Yikes I can not stand the freaking rain. Is is not helping things one ioda with my mood. I have definitely got to step out f this fun I am in. I am not used to being sad over a certain item for more than a day. This sux.. Last night against my better judgment I erased the voice mail from the other night. I was torturing myself with it, ( Read more... )

This is what happens when one has a lot of time on ones hands. One thinks things through way to much ( Read more... )

I feel like all the *Yay* ness of my world has been sucked out of me for right now. When ever i start to think I am doing better something triggers and poof the damn tears start again. I went out to lunch and I ended up just going for a little walk because it was sunny and usually nothing can be wrong on sunny days. I need to change my thinking ( Read more... )

haha it's almost funny--something I knew wasn't going to work ended and I can't seem to get a grip on myself as to why. Joe and I had a very long conversation last night...and we decided we both want different things. We just really are to different people with very different interests and sometimes no matter how much 2 people can say it will ( Read more... )

Its only 1045 and already Im tired and wanna go back to bed..I did get up in time for the gym, and I went but I was't feeling it at all. I think I am going to take Shanes class tonight. This was I will get some real cardio and a good weights workout. With all the crap I have been eating i need to. We had another fun dinner last night, and Again ( Read more... )

So I had a nice long talk with a friend last night..and today with another friend...and a lot of chatting going on internally with myself. Yeah I know I talk a lot. I do not consider myself to be a religious person what so ever, but lately with the help of a friend I have really started to analyze things spiritually and look again at god. For ( Read more... )

...When I said nothing in the summer really can get me down. Yesterday Im guessing was the final straw. I know I have been cryptic, but although I let him hurt me (emotionally- not to worry) I want to say I had it coming. But what ever..the last straw for me was Him comparing my hanging out with my best friend (he happens to be a guy..but he's ( Read more... )

So I woke up feeling really really shitty. But I have to say I did speak to him last night. Some times I wish he was a jerk then i could just be done with it. But oh no..he listened to me for a long time..and god help me I can ramble when I get going. I still have this emotional roller coaster going on in my stomach and my head, but I love my ( Read more... )

I feel like a complete idiot. Ever feel like you know the outcome to a movie because you have watched it so many times you know the words by heart yet still feel like you can will the ending to be different. That is kinda of my life. I know and understand what he is saying..I swear to god I do. But there is a part of me that just hopes and ( Read more... )

I finally got my sorry ass back to the gym today...2 classes thanks you very much. Yeah I am gonna be one sore sad puppy tomorrow. I have had one hellova week. Monday and Friday I had to substitute teach at rach's school, although I had a lot of fun It reminds me every time why I got out of teaching. LOL Although getting to substitute justified ( Read more... )