My mom passed away on 9/27/2024 at 2:28am pst. We weren't on speaking terms for a few months now. She wasn't conscious at any point from the time I got there, til the time she passed. But I talked to her on and off between the most intense crying I've ever experienced for the 7ish hours I was there until we pulled life support. 2 hours later she ( Read more... )

I don't get how people can get bored of others so easy and discard them, leaving them to wonder what they did wrong. I didn't deserve it. I was upfront that if you had an issue just let me know and we can get it sorted. Why am I always the mature one with people I deal with? I know people like to build themselves up to do no wrong but I cannot ( Read more... )

Feeling like everybody is ignoring me lately. They probably aren't and are just doing their own thing but I always have that self doubt anyways. Its like the biggest thing I've not been able to conquer in fixing my mental health over the last 4 years. 

Even though I've removed most of my posts I've ever had between this and deadjournal, I still get a lot of nostalgia just seeing some peoples names. Some of you of whom we're still mutuals on this platform we've abandoned. My memory unfortunately is a very good one so i remember close moments with a lot of you and at times it makes me sad I could ( Read more... )

I just burped. Livejournal gives me that old feeling of being new to the internet and everything I'd see online would seem so cool or so gross or so whatever depending on what you saw. Despite bad times then I was full of hope and dreams that I'd make it out of all the BS I used to deal with family wise, shitty friends wise, and even my own inner ( Read more... )

People always say that keeping busy makes it to where you don't have time to think about things. Which when I'm bored I always tend to think about things that I don't want to, my regrets in the past and the uncertainty of my future. I can't help but do it. I always think of things like if I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life or am I ever ( Read more... )

i don't think i've fucked up this bad in a long time. damn...

My birthday is next Sunday and I'll be 25... a whole quarter century old. Yikes!

Not planning on doing anything honestly haha... I wouldn't even know what I want. Anyways I'm basically posting just to show I'm randomly alive and now I'm going to bed cause its 4am and I haven't slept at all.

So last night me and Kathy finally played some League of Legends together. I am so happy I didn't play horribly like I had been all day leading up to that. I actually thought I did really well. Poor Kathy was lagging though ( Read more... )

I haven't been on any kind of social networking too much lately because I've had a sinus infection and its prevented me from any sort of focus. Thats why if you haven't seen me around, its because of that. I'm on antibiotics right now and its nothing serious, in a few days I should go back to being around more. So thats all for now lol ( Read more... )