if i did what i said I'd say what i do because i never know
what it is i did to you with you for you or
what it is i said to you for you with you  
so i'd rather say what i do than do what i say
because in the end it seems both are the same
be it said or done or unsaid or undone
because in the end i never know which 
was said and which was done 
( Read more... )

   
cutting to the chase:

i'm listening to Alicia Keys, lying on my parent's bed, lappie on my lap, and feeling surprisingly serene except slightly lonely and much-unwilling to leave home for tuition later. called a coupla friends this morning upon waking up, trying to plan some sorta outing to get this lame outta my life. ay, friends, we are ( Read more... )

it begins, now, i guess, the heartbreak. you know sometimes you damn well know this fucking 18-wheeler's turning the corner straight for you, and you know it, you know it, you might even have braced yourself for it, but when it comes you stand there and put your hands straight out, and all you feel, felt, will feel, drains right to the ground.

( Read more... )

(once again, disclaimer.)

i wish last night never ended. and so you wished, too. with your smile.

it's freaky, i think, how you start doing weird things when someone starts to take over your life, simply because you find it so hard to be without him, without his embrace, like summer's gone and winter's come in a goodbye.

happy fish face, horror ( Read more... )

i ask myself, yet another time, what a night out with a stranger would end up like. this time, i made sure it was never going to turn out the way it did.

and lo, it didn't.

i have to account this from beginning till end. because it's my journal and i'm reading it most of the time, and i want this memory right here. i want it to stick, i want ( Read more... )

 
Sleepwatching.

I'm beside you, but not where you are; in slumber you lie, quiet except for the peaceful breathing, still except for your weight rising and falling, or your childish, unconscious objection to my a-leaving, in the form of a tighter snuggle into yourself, with my hand caught stiff within your embrace.

I watch you sleep on. You're ( Read more... )

bad idea: reading your old emails and old blog entries. yes, you might be bored by me saying this over and over again. but i guess i'm tempted, and this time, really really tempted to read my old emails on gmail. and you know how gmail works, it's so organised you can hardly miss that Chris,me (12) on that tab and you just have to click it out of ( Read more... )

it's over.

and it was a happy over, everything came out smooth, though i reserved a little in case i hurt him too much. he took it okay, and so did i.

no less, i'll have to recover a bit. it's one thing thinking about breaking up, it's another finally doing it.

to say the truth, now that i've said it to him, he said many other stuff to me, and it ( Read more... )

i guess you can see i am really free and unoccupied.

just wondering: really short hair? or longer hair, maybe a lil jap style but not SO LONG yknow? just maybe an inch above the shoulders and sideburns and fringe, kinda messy and stuff.

go search lida and melida on youtube. it's the new bunifa.

dumplings are HARD to make. mine always has holes ( Read more... )

i'll save a little alphabet ( Read more... )