078 - Flashback Theatre with Henry West

Mar 22, 2009 14:32

The first time I had to shoot a civilian-- hostile, actually. They lose civilian status the moment the Infection hits their system-- it was the first I'd actually been faced with the Infected. In my position, I only had to supervise. Direct. For the first days, I was perfectly isolated from what was really happening. But as our numbers ( Read more... )

regrets, my booooyz, emo!, i hate you too farrell, whiny bastard, i hate you jim

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Comments 68

my_freeze_ray March 22 2009, 22:09:08 UTC
West, that isn't your fault. You had to do what you did and if you hadn't adapted it would have driven you insane or gotten you and your men killed.

You had to be that person West, it doesn't mean you still are.

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major_west March 22 2009, 22:10:20 UTC
But they did die. All of them died.

And I'm fairly certain that I'm not as sane as I was before it happened.

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He's going to cheerfully enable you now my_freeze_ray March 22 2009, 23:11:11 UTC
Yeah, because of Jim, not because of you. You did the best you could for them, you survived the best you could and... and you still lost.

I don't know, I guess that's not very comforting. Still, if you had survived then how much worse could you have gotten? I'd never have known you.

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major_west March 22 2009, 23:15:03 UTC
I don't mind my own death so much. I've found things here I would never have back home.

But theirs I think about every night.

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Private gray_atonement March 22 2009, 22:15:31 UTC
...Do you want to have dinner? To talk?

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Private major_west March 22 2009, 22:35:06 UTC
I, um... meant to make this private to Billy.

Dinner sounds fine.

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Private gray_atonement March 23 2009, 01:54:24 UTC
I..'m not trying to force anything, West. Don't worry about it if you don't want to.

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Private major_west March 23 2009, 02:44:26 UTC
No, I do. You aren't forcing anything.

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thatlibbychick March 22 2009, 22:27:30 UTC
I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that. You were acting in a crisis, you did what you had to, and you were doing it for the safety of others. You can't be blamed for trying to survive a nightmare like that, and it doesn't have to define who you are, either. Not unless you let it. I refuse to believe that you're some sort of horrible person because of what happened.

It's not like I haven't said this before, but I'm always here if you need me.

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He always conveniently leaves out the "SYSTEMIZED RAPE!" part... major_west March 22 2009, 22:39:23 UTC
I say that every day, but it's why I'm here. In my status here, I am defined by it.

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thatlibbychick March 22 2009, 22:57:49 UTC
That's your status, but some of us know you can be a better person than that. I know you have what it takes to turn your life around.

...I'm sorry for using "life," by the way. I know what it's like to be dead. It's just the only word that fits.

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major_west March 22 2009, 22:59:38 UTC
No, it's alright. I'm sorry, you must feel as trapped here as any of us Inmates.

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Private gimmethemap March 22 2009, 22:35:48 UTC
So it just got easier and easier to not look at them like they were once people.

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Private major_west March 22 2009, 22:39:57 UTC
No, actually, I still saw them as people. It's what made it easier.

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Private gimmethemap March 23 2009, 00:25:08 UTC
I'm trying to understand. Can you explain how that made it easier?

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Private major_west March 23 2009, 00:39:28 UTC
Because people kill people. It's how it's always gone before the Infection, and it's how the world will always be. It's far more normal to think that you have just shot another person, rather than some sort of monster.

I try to think of them as monsters now, however. After it's passed.

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(The comment has been removed)

major_west March 22 2009, 22:58:53 UTC
It's human nature to kill, so I suppose practice is all any of us requires.

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(The comment has been removed)

major_west March 22 2009, 23:06:59 UTC
I don't think it's any secret that I had one of my men executed.

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