Actual conversation with my mother-in-law:
Me: So I bought new door knobs for the house. The old ones were brass and yucky.
Her: Did you buy knobs or handles?
Me: Knobs. You never buy handles.
Her: Why not?
Me: Haven't you seen Jurassic Park?!?! They nearly got eaten because velociraptors can open door handles.
Her: I can see how you don't want
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