Last night was the first time I think I really acknowledged that Burning Man has a mom grief dimension that I'm going to have to account for. I've been wearing her cleu. To signal to Burners that I am one of them. I've been cursing myself for throwing out her playa-patinaed fireboots. Because those would be good boots to have there. Just practical ( Read more... )

The thing, where you decide you can't live with a landmine in your bedroom, so you armor up and brace yourself and step right on the damn thing, prepared to take on the explosion? I did that this weekend. Unpacked the boxes I've been avoiding. And. No 'splosions. Deafening, absurd lack of detonation. Until I stepped back onto that other mine, the ( Read more... )

Dreamed I was in Port Townsend with my mom. It was outdoor movie or film festival or something and we were running around getting ready. Both of us were visiting the west coast with a view to moving back, both excited about it. We bopped around and discussed the merits of various cities and the general east coast/west coast differences ( Read more... )

Oh. Hey. It's the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. That's why I'm up at 5am, crying before I know why ( Read more... )

Yay Obama ( Read more... )

I would like facebook to stop being covered in pictures of my dead mom now, please ( Read more... )

( It's graduation today. )

Donated four boxes of mom's books on Friday. I couldn't throw them away. Tyler has grown unsentimental about books, an obvious professional necessity, but still hard for me. He offered a few times to toss them, and I just couldn't. So there they've sat since last December in boxes against our wall. Waiting for a used bookstore trip. Waiting for me ( Read more... )

First thing in my inbox this morning was a letter from Holly titled 'a year later'

Dear Aster, This afternoon is a year since I said goodbye...Tyler says 'Wait, what day is it? That's not right.' But Holly was traveling, this was goodbye for her ( Read more... )

We're talking about going to the arboretum tomorrow, if it's nice out. It's gorgeous this time of year.

We went, this time last year. It was gorgeous, crisp and breezy, the trees on fire and amazing. We walked across logs and climbed trees and took a bunch of pictures. We skipped the asian gardens, but said we'd go back soon. I posted the pictures ( Read more... )