Nocheat Update: Jack Vu and Phil McCrackin
Note: Two houses are going to merge in this update. It's not terribly complicated but I figured a heads up was in order.
Background: Jack Mehoffer Vu is married to townie diva, Chris Vu. They live with Chris's daughter, Polly Vu. Jack is desperately trying to deny that Polly is NOT his child. He loves Polly but he gets the feeling Chris has been up to a little hanky panky (something Jack enjoys as well, just ask Galacticon Farquest!). Jack and Phil know each other from their stint on "The Bachelorette Challenge" (where they also met Galacticon). In fact, all the cast offs lived with each other for quite some time after first moving to Nocheat. So when Jack gets into a spot of trouble, Phil is more than willing to help him out.
(household list: Vu household: Jack, Chris, Polly McCrackin household: Phil, Ivy, Dora Mae)
Poor Jack. It's not normal for a sim to fall asleep on his feet.
He's awakened by the phone.
It's his good friend, Phil.
"Sorry I haven't called in a while, Phil. It's been a bit crazy around here. Well, in a nutshell, I think I'm pregnant."
"Ok, let me start from the begining. So you know Chris had a baby, right. And well, I kind of had a feeling it wasn't mine. Yeah, I figured you'd know what I'm talking about, right?"
"Well, I caught her in bed with that asshole, Amin Sims. Yeah, I know, what kind of name is that?"
"Well, I snapped, Phil. I couldn't take it. I mean, we've been through a lot. I know, since the time we all lived together, remember that? Well I told her to get the hell out. I mean, doing it right in OUR bed like that. Come on, man. I know these kinds of things happen, but in OUR BED while I'm IN THE HOUSE. That's just not right. Doesn't this Amin guy have his own place? What the hell, right?"
"I mean I was fit to be tied. So while she's getting her clothes together, I go downstairs. And what do I see? That son of a bitch is sitting at my table, eating MY dinner. So I say to him, 'What, my wife's pussy isn't enough for you, now you got to eat my pork chops, too?' Yeah, I know. I'm not usually so crass. I'm telling you Phil, I was so pissed. The next thing I know. . ."
". . .I'm beating his ass. I mean head locks and the whole nine. I've never been in a fight in my life. It felt great. But scarey, too. I mean, what if he'd whooped my ass. After screwing my wife and eating my dinner, he could have whooped me in my own house. Thankfully, I schooled him. Sent him packing in his underwear."
"Chris runs after him, holding his clothes. Good riddance to both of them. I was pretty high strung by then. And worried. Where was Polly? Yeah, strange, huh? I mean she's probably not my biological child but she's still my kid, right? Chris even put me down as the father on the birth certificate. And I mean, come on. Chris never took any interest in OUR daughter, what makes me think she's going to take care of her daughter with her hump, Amin. So I take care of Polly and go outside to try and relax. Isn't it wild how star gazing can do that? Yeah, right? I can go from high strung to mellow in minutes just staring at the sky."
"Yeah, I bet you can see where this is going, huh? Don't you know those sons of bitches snatch me up. I mean, come on already. Like I hadn't been through enough? Now I have to get buggered by aliens? Ha, ha, very funny. Yeah, it's not like I've never had that happen before, but at least I KNEW before hand. I mean just getting snatched up like that. . .it's unsettling is all."
"Of course I don't remember anything about it either. I'm going to have to ask Galacticon why that is. Anyway. . ."
"I remember the ship dumping me back at my house and there's this mini van parked out front. And it wasn't Galacticon's either. Yeah, I don't know what that's all about. I mean, I know how he ended up with it but why he kept it is beyond me. I'm guessing to get soccer moms. Oh, sorry, I didn't mean anything by that. . ."
"Well, it was a social worker. I guess it takes aliens a few HOURS to do whatever it is they do, which is weird because Galacticon's never taken that long. . .but anyway. So there's this social worker waiting to ball me out for leaving Polly all alone. No. Get this. Seems Chris and Amin called her. I guess Chris came back by right after I got snatched and saw Polly all alone. Oh, hell no, she didn't even take her, just wanted the social worker to take her off to the orphanage I guess. Nice mom, huh?"
"Well I wasn't going to let her take her. I mean, I'm the father at least according to the birth certificate so I run in after her and there's Polly playing in the toilet. What's up with toddlers always doing that, huh?"
"Then it gets really freaky. As the social worker is trying to grab for her, I step between them and then there's this huge blue flash. And Polly disappears. Yeah. Just like that, gone. Now the social worker is pissed, thinking I did something. She threatens me and then leaves. But I don't have a clue where Polly is. So like a fool I run all around inside then go outside and I hear laughing from the back yard. And there she is, none the worse for wear. It was the freakiest thing I ever saw."
"Of course, I gather her up and all that but I'm feeling bad. I have a damn good suspicion the aliens knocked me up and I'm feeling sick as hell. So even though I can't afford it. . ."
". . .I hire a nanny to watch Polly. I figure just until I start to feel better. But that hasn't happened yet and the nanny refuses to come back because the check I wrote her bounced sky high. Yeah, Chris cleaned us out. Not that there was much to get. I know I won't be able to pay the mortgage. I can't believe I let her talk me into building her a brand new house. What was I thinking, Phil? I mean we don't even have paint on the walls. I have no money, a toddler to raise and I'm knocked up. It's a nightmare."
Phil, never one to refuse a friend in need, has a solution to Jack's problem.
Phil hopes having young Polly, and a new baby, around the house will be just the thing to distract Ivy from her obesession with that cult.
And he tells Jack as much.
"I thought the old mayor made cults illegal?"
"No, she failed. Then got voted out of office. So, what's this about Galacticon having a mini van? That's so not his style."
"Shh, keep this to yourself. If he finds out I'm telling anyone about it, even though it was a while ago, he'll shit."
"So it seems Edna didn't take to kindly to him not taking care of their kid. She showed up and shook him down for a nice chunk of change."
"He TOLD you this?"
"No way. I was THERE, man. He was shocked. I guess no one's ever done that to him before, I mean made him pay for his kids. He has a bunch, you know."
"Yeah, I'm well aware."
"Oh, sorry. I always forget about that. You know, he's been real interested in meeting his kids lately. I could call him if you wanted. . ."
Phil decides to think about it. Maybe the family should get used to having a toddler around, first.
Dora Mae takes to Polly easily enough. "Soulja Girl, Polly. Do you want to be a Soulja Girl, too?"
Phil hopes his plan to distract Ivy will work as smoothly.
"Oh, Polly, do you realize what a blessing your new baby brother or sister is? They already saved you from the social worker, before they were even born."
"I've written to Mr. Jenghis and Mr. Ang Lee telling them of this great development. I think they'll agree, this is a great Sign."
Phil is happy to see the merge is going well. Except for. .
. . .Chris. She insists on coming around which only suceeds in upsetting the very pregnant Jack.
(in background) "I know you're from a fractured family, Polly, but with Hyperion's blessing bestowed upon your father, things will be made right."
Phil watches as Polly begins thriving in her new environment.
And Ivy watches. . .
. . .what can only be another sign from Hyperion. Phil seems very attracted to his friend, Jack. This is good. With Phil's carnal desires now focused on another, Ivy is finally freed from her carnal responsibility to her husband. With this freedom, Ivy is one step closer to cosmic enlightenment.
All signs point toward it being so.
She begins prepairng her vessel.
A strong vessel will be necessary to tend to the gift Hyperion is about to bestow on her.
Yes, the signs are there. With her desires squelched and her vessel strong and modest, Ivy can finally attain the high level of inner focus required for cosmic elightenment. She wants only to be worthy of Hyperion's gift soon to be delivered by Jack.
Now she is finally ready to take the final step. . .
She prepares her cranium in the traditional way, trying to refrain from enjoying the sensual feel of the razor across her skin. She indulges in one last visit to her marital bed while waiting for. . .
. . .the mailwoman to arrive with the package from Mr. Jenghis and Mr. Ang Lee. Her devotion stirred them to bestow upon her the official garb of the true believer. She hopes only to be truly worthy of this great vestment.
While the rest of the family is busy in thier own pursuits, Jack continues to think about Galacticon.
Jack can't wait to see his old lover again. It's been a while. He's glad Phil agreed to let Galacticon meet Dora Mae.
(in the background) "Well, sweetie, I just thought you should meet your biological father. I know it's none of my business but. . ."
Jack is very excited to see Galacticon again. Those darn hormones. Galacticon is shocked to see Jack is in a family way, but is relieved to know it's been too long since their last encounter for it to be his.
Dora Mae's not sure what to think about meeting her biological father.
"Get this, Olive. Seems there's this old coot in the house and he's supposedly my real dad. How gross is that? I mean, did my mom or my dad do it with him to get me? I don't even WANT to know. Couldn't they have just let me think I was the product of abduction? Speaking of aliens. . ."
"Did you get the book for me?"
"Of course. I had a few to add too. This is going to blow their minds."
"I know. It serves them right, though. I mean I can see them not liking us, since we can totally take care of ourselves and everything, but picking on someone like Odalisque? I mean, yeah, she does wear that old lady hat but she's super sweet. So not cool."
"And messing with Patch, too. Come one? She's practically your steady."
"That too."
Indeed, Patchoulianna is practically Dora Mae's steady.
And woe be the sim that upsets a Soulja Girls' love interest.
Dora Mae, Olive, and Patch retire to the pool while inside, Phil gets reacquainted with Galacticon.
"So, well, after that night I've kind of been a changed sim. I never realized what a real pain raising a kid can be, let alone twins. So I want to get to know my kids, kind of make amends."
Phil still doesn't like Galacitcon all that much but he can appreciate how age can change the way a sim looks at things.
Finally, Galacticon meets his daughter, Dora Mae.
"My stars! You are breathtaking, my girl."
While upstairs. . .
Polly becomes a child and is stunned by Ivy's new look.
Dora Mae and Galacticon get acquainted over a game of chess.
"So I guess I'm not the product of abduction then, huh?"
*laughing* "Sorry to disappoint you, but no. But I want you to know, I loved your mother very much. . ."
". . .but we grew apart. And once she got involved with that Saturn's Nine, well I have to say I was kind of glad I wasn't still involved with her. That's pretty far out there, even for me."
"Yeah, it does take some getting used to. I mean, a giant robot floating around in outerspace? She's getting nuttier and nuttier. I think she might be getting senile."
Ivy doesn't even notice her daughter's monumental meeting with her bilogical father. She seems to be listening to a far off sound, which is soon recognized as. . .
. . .Jack's cries of anguish as he goes into labor.
"Hurry, Polly, it's time to bear witness to Hyperion's gifts."
"YEA, I'm a big sister!"
"Blessed art thou, Jack. And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, given by Hyperion to all sim kind."
"What's that Ivy? Damn, I'm exhausted. Can you take the baby for me, I need sit down."
Ivy is more than happy to take the new baby.
She cradles her, cooing softly, "Grant me cosmic enlightment so that I might meet the great Hyperion."
Phil is more than a little concerned. First over Ivy's new look and then, when Ivy begins sleeping not in their shared bed, but in a small room with just the new baby.
He tries to tell himself his plan is working, that Ivy is focusing more on the baby and less on the cult.
But eventually he can deny it no longer.
While Ivy is focusing on the baby, it's not at the expense of the cult.
But rather at the expense of her family and husband.
He tries to focus on the rest of the family, knowing deep down Ivy is lost to him.
Having Polly, Jack, and even the new baby in the house has increased his happiness more than he realized. But he still worries about Ivy.
And with Jack becoming an elder. . .
. . .he worries that Ivy will lure him into the cult.
Jack doesn't seem to mind the obsessive amount of time Ivy spends with his newborn daughter. In fact, he even allows. . .
. . .Ivy to do the honor of helping the baby with her transition to toddlerhood.
Phil's concern increases when, as the baby transitions he hears Ivy proclaim. . .
"Show us the path to cosmic enlightment, Soylent Vu, daughter of Hyperion."
Has Ivy finally gone completely and totally mad?