Fact: both my children are, at the moment, very interested in cars and trucks.Fact: both of them have avoided pronouncing "truck" as "fuck," but that doesn't mean they have the correct pronunciation.  They vary between "guck" and . . . well, not guck ( Read more... )

What apparently went through my baby boy's head today, just before naptime:

All right, time to keep myself occupied while Mama gets my sister to sleep.  Still don't know why I can't ram the bedroom door with my toy car or make it play "Yankee Doodle Dandy" fifty-seven times.  Grownups are just weird.  Ah, here we are-pokey things!Right, I've seen ( Read more... )

Just a few examples of toddler help:

Shoe Help. Step 1: Fill Mommy's right shoe with all baby shoes.  Step 2: Fill Mommy's left shoe with balls.  Step 3: Drag shoes to opposite ends of the house.

Phone Help. Wait until Mommy is on the phone with someone who doesn't know you, such as the insurance rep.  Help with the conversation.  Like so ( Read more... )

I recently had a conversation with my son.

Me: Why would you chew on a sock!  It's a sock! Sock, ugh blech blech blech yuchhhh!
Baby Boy: Tock!  Um num num num nmmmmm! *cheekiest grin in the history of cheek*

What the title says.  I really don't know how much I'm imagining this stuff . . .

( Mentions of body functions )

Two different incidents were conflated for a nice narrative, here.

( Note: contains mild references to body functions )

( Bad Shatner Imitation Optional )

( Not too long, but cut anyway )

( Cut for length )

( Cut for length )