Toddler Help
Just a few examples of toddler help:
Shoe Help. Step 1: Fill Mommy's right shoe with all baby shoes. Step 2: Fill Mommy's left shoe with balls. Step 3: Drag shoes to opposite ends of the house.
Phone Help. Wait until Mommy is on the phone with someone who doesn't know you, such as the insurance rep. Help with the conversation. Like so:
Me: Okay, my subscriber ID is 123-
Baby Boy: BYE-BYE!
Me: Sorry, one of my toddlers really-
Baby Boy: BYE-BYE!
Me: Really likes phones, and he knows what you say to them is-
Baby Boy: BYE-BYE! BYE-BYE! BYE-BYE!!!!
Me: Shhh, it's not bye-bye time yet!
Baby Boy (delighted that I took his suggestion and said the thing): BYE-BYE-BYE-BYE-BYE-BYE-BYE!!!
Me (after a distinctly longer-than-usual phone conversation): Yeah, that's everything. Thanks for being so understanding.
Rep: No problem. Have a nice day!
Me: Bye!
Baby Boy: . . . Hewwo?
Bathroom Help. Notice that Mommy is in the bathroom. Ascertain, through vigorous and possibly head-first testing, that she has firmly closed the door. Sit outside with sibling and sing/shout, loudly, in two-part cacophony, about bottoms (DODDUMMMM, DODDUMMMM, DODDUM) as if you think that Mommy's bottom is in dire straits (DODDUM DODDUM DODDUM DODDUM) and can only be saved by some sort of epic theme-music power-up (DODDUM!!! DODDUUUUUUUM!!!!) which will enable it to . . . you know, I don't think I want to pursue that sentence any further.
I wonder how I ever lasted this long without toddler help?
Shoe Help. Step 1: Fill Mommy's right shoe with all baby shoes. Step 2: Fill Mommy's left shoe with balls. Step 3: Drag shoes to opposite ends of the house.
Phone Help. Wait until Mommy is on the phone with someone who doesn't know you, such as the insurance rep. Help with the conversation. Like so:
Me: Okay, my subscriber ID is 123-
Baby Boy: BYE-BYE!
Me: Sorry, one of my toddlers really-
Baby Boy: BYE-BYE!
Me: Really likes phones, and he knows what you say to them is-
Baby Boy: BYE-BYE! BYE-BYE! BYE-BYE!!!!
Me: Shhh, it's not bye-bye time yet!
Baby Boy (delighted that I took his suggestion and said the thing): BYE-BYE-BYE-BYE-BYE-BYE-BYE!!!
Me (after a distinctly longer-than-usual phone conversation): Yeah, that's everything. Thanks for being so understanding.
Rep: No problem. Have a nice day!
Me: Bye!
Baby Boy: . . . Hewwo?
Bathroom Help. Notice that Mommy is in the bathroom. Ascertain, through vigorous and possibly head-first testing, that she has firmly closed the door. Sit outside with sibling and sing/shout, loudly, in two-part cacophony, about bottoms (DODDUMMMM, DODDUMMMM, DODDUM) as if you think that Mommy's bottom is in dire straits (DODDUM DODDUM DODDUM DODDUM) and can only be saved by some sort of epic theme-music power-up (DODDUM!!! DODDUUUUUUUM!!!!) which will enable it to . . . you know, I don't think I want to pursue that sentence any further.
I wonder how I ever lasted this long without toddler help?