The past few days I have been feeling very disconnected and lonely at times. It has been puzzling to me, trying to figure out why ( Read more... )

My dad is back in the hospital again, I guess. Richie, my little brother, did something dumb but minor; my dad struck him in the face and tried to keep beating him up. Richie hit him back to get away from him. My mom was there and I don't know if Dad made a threatening move toward her or what but Richie said that if Dad tried to hurt Mom, Richie ( Read more... )

Don't expect anything from Dad except disappointment. Ever. That way some days you'll be pleasantly surprised, and when unpleasantness occurs you'll be prepared ( Read more... )

I miss Oregon. I miss deep-green, not this yellow-tinged green in everything here. I miss steely skies and cold gray-blue ocean. I miss beaches that are public and not festooned with high-rises. I miss the clean smell, and I miss mountains that only disappear due to clouds, not smog ( Read more... )

*does the sullen dance of hormonal moodiness ( Read more... )

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I feel like maybe I'm heading for a breakdown. Heading for something, at least. Today I went out and bought a basketload of Christmas decorations for my little bedroom and was perfectly filled with joy at the idea of putting them up and transforming my room into a teensy winter wonderland. But I'm putting them up now instead of studying and ( Read more... )

Dream... and reality. :-/

33 more days.

1) Last night was the worst Halloween ever. Highlights: doing nothing, wasting 45 minutes putting on zombie makeup, my attempt to hang out with SOMEONE, ANYONE, going completely awry and ending with me feeling embarrassed and awkward. Tears of a zombie are even more pitiful than tears of a clown, let me tell you ( Read more... )

I seem to be feeling better today. A long but slow day at work helped, I think, as did not having to walk the scary scary dog that hates only me (owner came and picked it up 10 minutes after I got to work). Seriously, I'd been worried about it on and off for the weekend, because the last time the dog boarded with us months ago, it barked ( Read more... )