RiffTrax makes Twilight watchable
...with the help of RiffTrax, the only thing that allowed me to suffer through the entire thing.
No, I really thought people had to be joking when they said the movie was that bad. I thought, hey, a popular series is bound to have a lot of haters. It's probably just a romance flick that's not nearly as awful as people make it out to be. I thought I'd give it a chance.
I got through about 20 minutes of it. Maybe a half hour. To be specific, I got to the biology scene with the microscope. I can't believe that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are so popular. Even among children and teens! Watching two brooms collect dust would've been more entertaining. I get that Bella is supposed to be socially awkward. Really. But the way Kristen Stewart portrayed her made her the most bland, dull, unlikeable character to grace the screen since... I don't even know. It was really that bad. And Robert Pattinson? I confess I haven't hated most interviews I've caught of him, and I thought the vagina comment was funny. But seriously. This is the heartthrob for this generation? Really? He just seemed like a creepy stalker with psychological issues. You like watching her sleep, Edward? For real? This is romantic to people instead of frightening and worthy of a restraining order?
I've heard that a lot of people have issues with Stephenie Meyer and with Twilight supposedly being Mormon propaganda. I don't know about any of that. Never read the books, and am certainly not inclined to if Edward Cullen in the movies was Robert Pattinson's attempt to make the character likable. I found it hard to read any underlying messages through all the bad that smothered the plot. Or lack thereof.
So, as I said before, I snagged the RiffTrax and gave it another whirl. Much more entertaining that way. One of the funnier ones they've done, in my opinion. I snorted my water more than a few times. This is the only way I can imagine that Twilight is watchable. Unless you can replace Edward Cullen with a rabid beaver in your mind or something.
TL;DR: The movie was ass. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart should be replaced by cardboard cutouts. I don't feel so awful for enjoying the Vampire Diaries now. At least Ian Somerhalder is hot.