[arashi] [aibajun] the first five times 7/?
TITLE: The First Five Times
PAIRING: Arashi, AibaJun, Ohmiya secondary
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Oh god, not mine.
RATING: R because I freaking made Matsujun a freaking hooker you guys. Please note that the rating is mostly because of the language so far, and will probably continue that way. It's actually more of a screwball comedy .... about hookers.
SUMMARY: The next morning, Arashi does what Arashi does best. Sit around a table and talk.
NOTES: I guess I don't have any dignity left after all! Thanks to acchikocchi, beckerbell, honooko, lady_gemma, nyonyo and wintersjuly for putting up with my whining, iluguys ;___;♥
| PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE | PART SIX |
| PART SEVEN |
1. If I was a good person, and a good writer, I would totally cut out this chapter because nothing happens except for the guys sitting around a table and talking, but it's seriously the most in character thing that has happened this entire freaking fic.
2. It has passed 15000 words, clearly my only recourse now is honorable suicide.
3. I HAS MY PRECIOUUUUUS♥.
4. Which is good, because I can tell already some day this week is going to be entirely devoted to crawling under the covers, getting the dog to get on the bed and dying quietly of snot.
5. Asian Celebration tomorrow! Amy and I have BIG PLANS and they all involve delicious food and nerdery.
"You should report this," said Sho, the next morning.
"Don't be silly," said Jun. "What are they going to do? Or care?" He slid the spatula under the round of batter on the skillet and flipped it over. "And do you want two pancakes or three?"
"Three," said Sho. "We should build a history of reports," and when Jun snorted, "I promise you, they'd pay attention."
"Yes, and then you'd have one of those conversations with your parents that starts 'So I noticed one of your little friends filed a report' and ends with 'you're the oldest, Sho-san'," said Nino.
"I don't care," said Sho. "And my parents aren't that bad."
Everybody looked at him.
"They want what they think is best for me," said Sho, in a tone that closed the discussion.
Nino grumbled a little under his breath, but kept quiet. "I'm kind of with Jun, though. I know it sucks, but what are they going to do?"
Sho's brows drew together. He sighed and looked upset, and Jun slid a plate of pancakes, dripping with butter and maple syrup imported from Maine, in front of him. Sho brightened.
"For-what-we-are-about-to-receive-we-most-heartily-give-thanks," rattled off Sho, and frowned at Nino when the latter said "Grace" and crammed half a pancake in his mouth.
"Thank you for the food," said Ohno, more sedately, but with as big a mouthful.
"Mgff," said Aiba, with great sincerity. Jun thought about hitting him but it would be wasteful. He'd probably choke on his food.
"Do you have a plan at all?" said Sho.
Jun put his own plate down and sat down, frowning a little. "'Don't do anything stupid'," he said.
"What an awesome plan!" said Nino. "I can totally see how you thought that through. It shows real planning and foresight, Matsumoto."
"Cram it," said Jun. He wasn't hungry but he knew that the others would be upset if he didn't eat, so he took a bite. It tasted like cardboard. "Do you have a better one?"
"Not to sound like Sakurai or anything," said Nino, "but this might be a good time to consider a career change."
Jun made an annoyed sound. "I know that." He did, too, but that didn't make him happier to hear it.
"We could use a model for our class," said Ohno, looking up from methodically drizzling syrup in concentric circles over his pancake. "Ours right now kind of quit."
"Kind of quit?" said Sho.
"Fled, more like," said Nino, who had been forced to model for Ohno's class before.
"They really liked him," said Ohno. "He just had other commitments."
"They really liked me too," said Nino darkly.
"They admired your bone structure," said Ohno reproachfully. "Especially Chinen-kun."
"And you know what else Chinen admires," said Nino, baring his teeth, "is your butt."
"Just because he wanted to draw me --" began Ohno, and Nino muttered,
"Naked."
"-- he does not want to draw me naked," said Ohno, almost exasperated. "He respects me as an artist, Kazu, and you know it."
Nino made a sound almost like a hiss. He reacted to encroachers on his territory with about as much kindly interest as a bull alligator. In Nino's defense, Jun knew, Chinen actually was kind of sniffing around Ohno, or as much as he dared considering the terror he held Nino in. Not that Jun blamed him. Nino could kind of turn into a short, skinny version of Mothra when he felt like it. It was like the movie where the Pomeranian dog was turned into a vampire and open his mouth to reveal razor teeth and a sort of prehensile tentacle tongue and then yapped at things.
"I also respect your ass," said Aiba. "I mean, you as an artist." He ducked Nino's napkin.
"Or we need a new office person at our work," said Sho. "The other one just left to have a baby. It pays pretty well --"
"-- because you subsidize it," said Nino.
"-- and you're good with details and it's interesting, I think," finished Sho, ignoring Nino, but with color in his cheeks.
Jun could see how managing an office of bleeding heart liberals, their cases, and by default babysitting for small, traumatized children who either acted out or sat quietly so nobody would notice them would be interesting. He could also see how he would strangle all of them within a week, and sit in the middle of the carnage playing calmly with one of the kids and telling the police they had it coming. It would be like being a professional stock dog. "I'll think about it," he said diplomatically.
Aiba had been quiet through the discussion, less because of interest and more because of plowing his way through five pancakes, a fried egg, two sausage links and some incidental coffee that Sho had made because of wanting to be useful, and Jun not wanting him anywhere near the stove. Jun flicked a look over at him. Aiba swallowed and looked up. "We should borrow a lion from the zoo so it can guard Matsujun," he said brightly.
Everybody stared at him.
Aiba beamed at them all. "Or a hippo. Nobody could get through a hippo."
Jun decided he had to be doing it on purpose. Still, "I am not going to clean up after a damn lion. Or a hippo. Or a cougar, or a crocodile. Or a wolf," he added, just to be safe.
"Sawajiri Erika," suggested Aiba obscurely.
"As much as I agree that nothing could get past her," said Sho, "we need to be serious."
"Well," said Jun, slowly, cutting his pancake into tiny pieces with his fork. "There is one thing." He'd thought about this all night, what he was going to do, how he was going to do it. He wasn't scared for himself, so much, as he was for the others; he'd known a guy who had all his friends hurt because of a client gone mean. The thought filled him with sick fear. "I could move, I guess. Or ..."
"Like hell," said Nino, his voice very quiet, and Jun jumped when Aiba slid his hand over and put it over Jun's hand.
"Aiba's boss wanted to know if I would model for her," said Jun. He didn't want to do it. He was scared; scared that he would see Aiba every day and scared that he would never see him again. Ever since the early morning his thoughts had gone around and round. The one thing he had come to accept, though, was that it would be worse to never see Aiba again. He could see a thousand problems, all piling up one after the other, but he could not bear the thought of never seeing Aiba again.
"Shibata-san?" said Sho, and somehow teleported from the table to the side of the room, pressing his back against the wall as if he expected Rie-chan to appear in a cloud of black smoke. "What type of job?"
"A model," said Jun.
"Okay," said Nino, looking at Sho. "Who is this boss of Aiba's and why does she make Sakurai cower? I want to know."
"Rie-chan is very nice," said the person who had spent the entire afternoon composing an extended riff on the classic poem about the girl from Nantucket with her. "Isn't she, Jun?"
"She tried to touch me in a bathing suit area," said Sho, scowling darkly. He shivered, as if at some terrifying recollection.
Nino looked even more intrigued. Jun said hastily, "I haven't talked to her about it since yesterday."
"It would be a great idea," said Aiba. "She doesn't like it when people bother her employees." He looked off into the distance and added, "She kind of gets mean about it."
"Oh?" said Nino.
"There was a girl," said Aiba vaguely, and then, "but nobody filed a complaint, so it was okay! I wish you would, Matsujun, it would be fun."
"What, file a complaint?" said Jun.
"Don't be silly," said Aiba, looking severe. "Filing complaints is horrid."
"Better than nothing," said Nino thoughtfully. "It would put you around other people a lot, at least."
Sho didn't look happy at all. "I still think --" he began.
Jun said, "Don't you have court in an hour and a half?"
"Fuck!" said Sho, looking at the clock and bolting out of the room. He came back long enough to say, "And don't think we're done with this discussion, Matsumoto!" and then ran. They sat and listened as he fumbled his shoes on in the entryway and then slammed the door.
"Damn," said Jun, losing what little appetite he had. Ohno patted him comfortingly, and ate his sausage. Jun sighed and pushed his plate over to him.
"Never mind," said Aiba comfortingly, eating Sho's other sausage. "Hey, I can get my car, that would be safer, right?"
"You have a car?" said Jun.
"Okay," said Nino, "do you really want to find out what happens when Matsumoto has to be a passenger in someone else's car?"
"You exaggerate," said Jun, crossly. Clutching the sissy bar and praying was a perfectly reasonable reaction to the way Nino drove.
"No, I think Nino has a point," said Ohno.
---
When Aiba leaned over and opened the car door, the dulcet strains of I ROCK MY BODY HARD IN THIS PLACE TO BE I MAKE IT HOT DIRTY SEXY CAN YOU PLEASE ME blared out. Jun recoiled, and Aiba shouted, "Sorry!" and turned down the volume and then tapped a button. TOKIO began to sing "Kimagure ONE WAY BOY" and Jun climbed in the passenger seat. He buckled his seatbelt.
"Did you look at that schedule of mine?" said Aiba. "I'm afraid you might think it's a little crazy." That was a nice way of saying that if Jun looked at the schedule Aiba thought he was probably going to just cut to the chase and kill himself rather than do it himself. Jun nodded.
"Rie-chan's really got you booked tight," he said. He was mildly surprised that Aiba had enough time or energy to think of stupid shit like hiring hookers to be his fake boyfriend. If he did half of what Aiba did, he would be just curled in a ball under his bed refusing to come out.
"But that's fun too, right," said Aiba. "Having a lot to do." Jun raised his eyebrows. "I like it," said Aiba. He pulled out of the parking lane and slid into traffic, shifting gears smoothly. Jun held his breath for a minute and then relaxed as it was made clear that Aiba was a pretty good driver. He wasn't too aggressive, but he wasn't timid, either. He watched Aiba's long hands on the steering wheel and tried to keep his mind blank.
When they got to the office, Aiba dropped Jun off in front of the building while he went to park. The parking garage was about half a block away, so Aiba usually just went on transit, he said. Jun walked up to the building and took a deep breath. He went inside.
Rie-chan was standing a little by the door, looking through a portfolio. When she saw him, she smiled. "Have you made up your mind?" she said.
"I think so," said Jun. "It's a little scary ... but I'll do my best."
"Good," said Rie-chan, and Aiba walked in and said,
"Oh, is everything settled?"
"Yeah," said Jun, and he was really scared, but it was kind of comforting, too, being commited to this. "I think it is."
PAIRING: Arashi, AibaJun, Ohmiya secondary
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Oh god, not mine.
RATING: R because I freaking made Matsujun a freaking hooker you guys. Please note that the rating is mostly because of the language so far, and will probably continue that way. It's actually more of a screwball comedy .... about hookers.
SUMMARY: The next morning, Arashi does what Arashi does best. Sit around a table and talk.
NOTES: I guess I don't have any dignity left after all! Thanks to acchikocchi, beckerbell, honooko, lady_gemma, nyonyo and wintersjuly for putting up with my whining, iluguys ;___;♥
| PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE | PART SIX |
| PART SEVEN |
1. If I was a good person, and a good writer, I would totally cut out this chapter because nothing happens except for the guys sitting around a table and talking, but it's seriously the most in character thing that has happened this entire freaking fic.
2. It has passed 15000 words, clearly my only recourse now is honorable suicide.
3. I HAS MY PRECIOUUUUUS♥.
4. Which is good, because I can tell already some day this week is going to be entirely devoted to crawling under the covers, getting the dog to get on the bed and dying quietly of snot.
5. Asian Celebration tomorrow! Amy and I have BIG PLANS and they all involve delicious food and nerdery.
"You should report this," said Sho, the next morning.
"Don't be silly," said Jun. "What are they going to do? Or care?" He slid the spatula under the round of batter on the skillet and flipped it over. "And do you want two pancakes or three?"
"Three," said Sho. "We should build a history of reports," and when Jun snorted, "I promise you, they'd pay attention."
"Yes, and then you'd have one of those conversations with your parents that starts 'So I noticed one of your little friends filed a report' and ends with 'you're the oldest, Sho-san'," said Nino.
"I don't care," said Sho. "And my parents aren't that bad."
Everybody looked at him.
"They want what they think is best for me," said Sho, in a tone that closed the discussion.
Nino grumbled a little under his breath, but kept quiet. "I'm kind of with Jun, though. I know it sucks, but what are they going to do?"
Sho's brows drew together. He sighed and looked upset, and Jun slid a plate of pancakes, dripping with butter and maple syrup imported from Maine, in front of him. Sho brightened.
"For-what-we-are-about-to-receive-we-most-heartily-give-thanks," rattled off Sho, and frowned at Nino when the latter said "Grace" and crammed half a pancake in his mouth.
"Thank you for the food," said Ohno, more sedately, but with as big a mouthful.
"Mgff," said Aiba, with great sincerity. Jun thought about hitting him but it would be wasteful. He'd probably choke on his food.
"Do you have a plan at all?" said Sho.
Jun put his own plate down and sat down, frowning a little. "'Don't do anything stupid'," he said.
"What an awesome plan!" said Nino. "I can totally see how you thought that through. It shows real planning and foresight, Matsumoto."
"Cram it," said Jun. He wasn't hungry but he knew that the others would be upset if he didn't eat, so he took a bite. It tasted like cardboard. "Do you have a better one?"
"Not to sound like Sakurai or anything," said Nino, "but this might be a good time to consider a career change."
Jun made an annoyed sound. "I know that." He did, too, but that didn't make him happier to hear it.
"We could use a model for our class," said Ohno, looking up from methodically drizzling syrup in concentric circles over his pancake. "Ours right now kind of quit."
"Kind of quit?" said Sho.
"Fled, more like," said Nino, who had been forced to model for Ohno's class before.
"They really liked him," said Ohno. "He just had other commitments."
"They really liked me too," said Nino darkly.
"They admired your bone structure," said Ohno reproachfully. "Especially Chinen-kun."
"And you know what else Chinen admires," said Nino, baring his teeth, "is your butt."
"Just because he wanted to draw me --" began Ohno, and Nino muttered,
"Naked."
"-- he does not want to draw me naked," said Ohno, almost exasperated. "He respects me as an artist, Kazu, and you know it."
Nino made a sound almost like a hiss. He reacted to encroachers on his territory with about as much kindly interest as a bull alligator. In Nino's defense, Jun knew, Chinen actually was kind of sniffing around Ohno, or as much as he dared considering the terror he held Nino in. Not that Jun blamed him. Nino could kind of turn into a short, skinny version of Mothra when he felt like it. It was like the movie where the Pomeranian dog was turned into a vampire and open his mouth to reveal razor teeth and a sort of prehensile tentacle tongue and then yapped at things.
"I also respect your ass," said Aiba. "I mean, you as an artist." He ducked Nino's napkin.
"Or we need a new office person at our work," said Sho. "The other one just left to have a baby. It pays pretty well --"
"-- because you subsidize it," said Nino.
"-- and you're good with details and it's interesting, I think," finished Sho, ignoring Nino, but with color in his cheeks.
Jun could see how managing an office of bleeding heart liberals, their cases, and by default babysitting for small, traumatized children who either acted out or sat quietly so nobody would notice them would be interesting. He could also see how he would strangle all of them within a week, and sit in the middle of the carnage playing calmly with one of the kids and telling the police they had it coming. It would be like being a professional stock dog. "I'll think about it," he said diplomatically.
Aiba had been quiet through the discussion, less because of interest and more because of plowing his way through five pancakes, a fried egg, two sausage links and some incidental coffee that Sho had made because of wanting to be useful, and Jun not wanting him anywhere near the stove. Jun flicked a look over at him. Aiba swallowed and looked up. "We should borrow a lion from the zoo so it can guard Matsujun," he said brightly.
Everybody stared at him.
Aiba beamed at them all. "Or a hippo. Nobody could get through a hippo."
Jun decided he had to be doing it on purpose. Still, "I am not going to clean up after a damn lion. Or a hippo. Or a cougar, or a crocodile. Or a wolf," he added, just to be safe.
"Sawajiri Erika," suggested Aiba obscurely.
"As much as I agree that nothing could get past her," said Sho, "we need to be serious."
"Well," said Jun, slowly, cutting his pancake into tiny pieces with his fork. "There is one thing." He'd thought about this all night, what he was going to do, how he was going to do it. He wasn't scared for himself, so much, as he was for the others; he'd known a guy who had all his friends hurt because of a client gone mean. The thought filled him with sick fear. "I could move, I guess. Or ..."
"Like hell," said Nino, his voice very quiet, and Jun jumped when Aiba slid his hand over and put it over Jun's hand.
"Aiba's boss wanted to know if I would model for her," said Jun. He didn't want to do it. He was scared; scared that he would see Aiba every day and scared that he would never see him again. Ever since the early morning his thoughts had gone around and round. The one thing he had come to accept, though, was that it would be worse to never see Aiba again. He could see a thousand problems, all piling up one after the other, but he could not bear the thought of never seeing Aiba again.
"Shibata-san?" said Sho, and somehow teleported from the table to the side of the room, pressing his back against the wall as if he expected Rie-chan to appear in a cloud of black smoke. "What type of job?"
"A model," said Jun.
"Okay," said Nino, looking at Sho. "Who is this boss of Aiba's and why does she make Sakurai cower? I want to know."
"Rie-chan is very nice," said the person who had spent the entire afternoon composing an extended riff on the classic poem about the girl from Nantucket with her. "Isn't she, Jun?"
"She tried to touch me in a bathing suit area," said Sho, scowling darkly. He shivered, as if at some terrifying recollection.
Nino looked even more intrigued. Jun said hastily, "I haven't talked to her about it since yesterday."
"It would be a great idea," said Aiba. "She doesn't like it when people bother her employees." He looked off into the distance and added, "She kind of gets mean about it."
"Oh?" said Nino.
"There was a girl," said Aiba vaguely, and then, "but nobody filed a complaint, so it was okay! I wish you would, Matsujun, it would be fun."
"What, file a complaint?" said Jun.
"Don't be silly," said Aiba, looking severe. "Filing complaints is horrid."
"Better than nothing," said Nino thoughtfully. "It would put you around other people a lot, at least."
Sho didn't look happy at all. "I still think --" he began.
Jun said, "Don't you have court in an hour and a half?"
"Fuck!" said Sho, looking at the clock and bolting out of the room. He came back long enough to say, "And don't think we're done with this discussion, Matsumoto!" and then ran. They sat and listened as he fumbled his shoes on in the entryway and then slammed the door.
"Damn," said Jun, losing what little appetite he had. Ohno patted him comfortingly, and ate his sausage. Jun sighed and pushed his plate over to him.
"Never mind," said Aiba comfortingly, eating Sho's other sausage. "Hey, I can get my car, that would be safer, right?"
"You have a car?" said Jun.
"Okay," said Nino, "do you really want to find out what happens when Matsumoto has to be a passenger in someone else's car?"
"You exaggerate," said Jun, crossly. Clutching the sissy bar and praying was a perfectly reasonable reaction to the way Nino drove.
"No, I think Nino has a point," said Ohno.
---
When Aiba leaned over and opened the car door, the dulcet strains of I ROCK MY BODY HARD IN THIS PLACE TO BE I MAKE IT HOT DIRTY SEXY CAN YOU PLEASE ME blared out. Jun recoiled, and Aiba shouted, "Sorry!" and turned down the volume and then tapped a button. TOKIO began to sing "Kimagure ONE WAY BOY" and Jun climbed in the passenger seat. He buckled his seatbelt.
"Did you look at that schedule of mine?" said Aiba. "I'm afraid you might think it's a little crazy." That was a nice way of saying that if Jun looked at the schedule Aiba thought he was probably going to just cut to the chase and kill himself rather than do it himself. Jun nodded.
"Rie-chan's really got you booked tight," he said. He was mildly surprised that Aiba had enough time or energy to think of stupid shit like hiring hookers to be his fake boyfriend. If he did half of what Aiba did, he would be just curled in a ball under his bed refusing to come out.
"But that's fun too, right," said Aiba. "Having a lot to do." Jun raised his eyebrows. "I like it," said Aiba. He pulled out of the parking lane and slid into traffic, shifting gears smoothly. Jun held his breath for a minute and then relaxed as it was made clear that Aiba was a pretty good driver. He wasn't too aggressive, but he wasn't timid, either. He watched Aiba's long hands on the steering wheel and tried to keep his mind blank.
When they got to the office, Aiba dropped Jun off in front of the building while he went to park. The parking garage was about half a block away, so Aiba usually just went on transit, he said. Jun walked up to the building and took a deep breath. He went inside.
Rie-chan was standing a little by the door, looking through a portfolio. When she saw him, she smiled. "Have you made up your mind?" she said.
"I think so," said Jun. "It's a little scary ... but I'll do my best."
"Good," said Rie-chan, and Aiba walked in and said,
"Oh, is everything settled?"
"Yeah," said Jun, and he was really scared, but it was kind of comforting, too, being commited to this. "I think it is."