[12 Days 9/12] [arashi] [aibajun] the first five times 4/?
THIS THING, IT IS A THING LIKE A MOLD. IT KEEPS SPREADING
file is at 9288 words. send booze. sob. oh god only half done if that. i want to dieeeeee..
TITLE: The First Five Times
PAIRING: Arashi, AibaJun, Ohmiya secondary
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Oh god, not mine.
RATING: R because I freaking made Matsujun a freaking hooker you guys. Please note that the rating is mostly because of the language so far, and will probably continue that way. It's actually more of a screwball comedy .... about hookers.
SUMMARY: Their fake date is fake, but Jun's got an awful feeling these feelings are becoming real.
NOTES: I guess I don't have any dignity left after all! Thanks to acchikocchi, beckerbell, honooko, lady_gemma, nyonyo and wintersjuly for putting up with my whining, iluguys ;___;♥
Also, uh, if you haven't seen Aiba vs Kangaroos, YOUTUBE IT INSTANTLY.
| PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR |
"Okay," said Jun. "We're going to walk past the kangaroo habitat again, and this time you're going to look instead of cowering behind me."
"I'm not cowering!" said Aiba.
"Get your hands off my shirt," said Jun, surprising himself with his own patience. It had been an incredibly long hour, with Aiba dragging him from habitat to habitat, cooing over the hippo babies (Jun looked at them and was reminded strongly of Akanishi) and trying to start a staring contest with a lemur, and all around acting like he was five years old. A five year old who was taller than Jun and wearing a pair of jeans melted to his ass and a shirt that said SEXUALITY SEVENTIES STYLE. Jun had a migraine.
Aiba loosened his grip on Jun's tissue-weight silk pullover, but stayed behind Jun. "They kick really hard, you know!"
"No, I don't," said Jun, his temper beginning to fray. "What sort of person is scared that kangaroos are going to kick them?"
"They almost got the goods!" said Aiba, his voice high and a little hysterical. "It was really scary! He kept glaring at me out of his beady kangaroo eyes!"
Jun twisted around and stared at him. Aiba stuck his lower lip out. "My boss thought it would suggest an athletic appeal," he said.
"I'm sorry," said Jun, "I've got to stand here and enjoy that mental image for a while." He could just see Aiba and the kangaroo staring at each other, Aiba's eyes growing bigger and bigger with excitement and fear, and the kangaroo eyeing him contemptuously. "This almost makes up for the bird shit on my shoe," he added, even though watching Aiba feed the tropical birds little pieces of sweet fruit had been cuter than he really wanted to admit.
"Matsumoto," whined Aiba. "You're mean! I'm telling!" He was smiling widely and his hand brushed up against Jun's back. "Matsujun's mean, mean! Why is Jun-chan so mean!"
"If you seriously call me Jun-chan I'm going to trip you into the kangaroo habitat," said Jun.
"But Matsujun's okay?" demanded Aiba. He put his head to the side and stared at Jun intently.
"I guess," said Jun, looking away. He was embarrassed and so he added, "And you're still looking at the cute kangaroos."
"I'd rather look at you," said Aiba, so Jun hit him.
In the Sea Systems exhibit, a pair of otters were floating on the surface of the water. They had their paws hooked together, bobbing together as they slept. They bumped against the side of the wall and lost their grip. The otters drifted apart and then bumped together again. One of them woke up a little, reached out and fussily took the other's paw in his own again and then, to all appearances, fell back into contented sleep. "My God," said Jun, fascinated. "It's Nino and Ohno."
"Their names are Keiichiro and Shigeaki," reported Aiba, reading the display. "'Otters are social creatures and often form affectionate bonds with each other.'"
"Mommy," said a child beside them, "why do both the otters have boy names?"
"Oh my God," said Jun. "You are never allowed near an elephant again."
"I was just saying," wailed Aiba, as Jun dragged him off, feeling the glares of parents of small children behind him.
"I don't care how big his thing was!" yelled Jun, and got a glare of his own from a teacher shepherding a line of children around.
"You're getting a lot of messages on your phone," said Aiba, looking at him.
Jun deleted the message without doing more than skimming it. All it had was empty threats and pleas. "It's fine," he said indifferently. "He'll get over himself soon."
"If you say so," said Aiba, his voice troubled.
"Hey, look, there's a guy in a pink bunny suit doing balloon animals," said Jun, pointing.
"Really?" said Aiba, whipping around so fast Jun thought he was going to get whiplash.
"You're walking past the kangaroo habitat on purpose," said Aiba hysterically.
"I can't help if it's in the center of the zoo," said Jun, almost keeping a straight face.
"Shut up," said Jun.
"What do you even put on your hair?" said Aiba, trying to compose his face.
"Just plain gel!" snapped Jun.
"I kind of want to taste it now," said Aiba, eying the ruin of Jun's hair. Jun tried to comb it out as best as he could, but llama spit wasn't going to come out without a shower and several rinses of shampoo.
"No matter what the fucking llama fucking thought," said Jun, "I promise you it is not super tasty."
Aiba giggled helplessly.
As they walked out of the zoo, Aiba tried to convince Jun that he wanted to get a lion plushie and also that they should eat crepes. Jun was positive that he didn't want a lion plushie, but the crepes sounded pretty good. Jun didn't eat a lot usually. ("Is there something you want to talk to us about?" demanded Sakurai one night, watching Jun pick at his food. "You made all this, you should have some!" "He just likes living on his nerves," said Nino, stealing a tuna roll. "You know, the one who lives on the pain of others shouldn't really talk," said Jun, but he ate another piece of inarizushi to make Sho stop staring at him.) Aiba, on the other hand, had eaten a cone of cotton candy, a pretzel ("Are you sure you don't want one?" he said. "Yes, I am absolutely sure I don't want to die of a heart attack," said Jun, staring at the salt standing in snowy heaps on the heavily buttered pretzel), two pieces of fudge, a cola and a corn dog, in the most unconsciously filthy way Jun had ever seen. He hoped it was unconscious. If it was conscious, Aiba was totally in the wrong career.
"I guess a crepe would be nice," said Jun, and then instantly regretted it when Aiba dragged him over to the stand, bought one filled with cream cheese and licked the filling out with enthusiastic attention to detail. Jun took a slow bite out of his Nutella crepe and thought about his client that afternoon. He had to meet him in an hour. He was a nice kid, a few years younger than Jun. Jun suspected he was just bored and lonely. It wasn't too bad. He was kind of big and awkward but careful about it.
Aiba finished licking sweetened cream off his fingers. Jun looked away. "That was really tasty," said Aiba. "I've never had a Nutella one, though," he added.
Jun sighed in resignation and held it out.
"I was going to buy one," said Aiba reproachfully, but before Jun could snap at him, he reached out and took Jun's wrist gently in his grip and lifted it up. Jun gaped at him. Aiba took a delicate bite out of the side of the crepe and released his grip on Jun.
"You might as well have it," said Jun, purely on autopilot. His hand still burned where Aiba had touched him.
"Really?" said Aiba, but he took it from Jun and began to eat it.
"It's not sanitary to do things like that!" said Jun hopelessly. It was like the time he'd come home to find Nino pressing Ohno against the kitchen table. Sometimes it seemed like he was the only person in the world who knew how important cleanliness was.
"It's very good," said Aiba, licking a bit of chocolate from his lip. "I could buy you another one."
"No thank you," said Jun with a sigh. "Don't you have to go to work soon?"
"Oh, right," said Aiba, looking at his watch. "Do you want to walk with me for a while? So it looks like a real date," he added.
"Fine," said Jun. As they walked through the park, something that had been working through the back of his mind came to the front again. He said, "You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but why a fake boyfriend?"
"You've never met the people at my work," said Aiba. "They're all girls, and they all pinch my butt."
Jun opened his mouth and shut it again when he discovered he was about to say he could hardly blame them. Just then, someone's voice bellowed "AIBA-CHAN!" Aiba turned around and said, "Um," and then, "Shit, it's my boss." A lady in her fifties trotted up to them. Her face was attractive in a craggy and rather masculine way, and she had laugh lines around her eyes and mouth.
"Boss," said Aiba, very brightly. "Hi. Um. I was just um. Heading back to the um. Office."
"That's fine," said his boss. "We don't have to start up until later this afternoon." She eyed Jun with blatant curiosity. "Who's this, then?" she demanded.
"This is um my boyfriend," said Aiba, clearly trying to be convincing. Jun closed his eyes in acute pain, and didn't realize Aiba was reaching for his hand until Aiba had it wrapped in his own. His hand was warm and a little damp with nervousness. "His name is Matsumoto Jun! And he's my boyfriend!"
"Aiba," said Jun, only slightly between his teeth.
Aiba's boss put her hands on her hips. "That," she said, more in sorrow than in anger, "is not a boyfriend, it is a hooker."
"Um," said Aiba. "How do you know that? He could be a boyfriend and a hooker! Or --"
Jun smacked him on the back of the head, so he yelped and stumbled forward, but righted himself like a round doll.
"I thought I told you," said Aiba's boss, "that if you were going to try to produce a fake boyfriend to stop us from groping you, I expected it to be your little social worker friend."
"I tried!" said Aiba. He looked at her appealingly. "He spontaneously levitated to the ceiling and wouldn't come down until I swore on a stack of TOKIO cds that I wouldn't do it to him, and then he covered his butt with a cushion every time he got up!"
Jun smacked him again. There was something very satisfying about it, he thought. Aiba looked at him with reproachful puppy eyes, but didn't move away from him.
"That boy's butt is clean wasted on social work," said Aiba's boss, in the tone of a woman brooding over her wrongs. Jun looked at her with new respect. Clearly she was a woman of great good sense and taste, even if she was a little crazy. "My name's Shibata Rie," she said. "You can call me Rie-chan." She laughed loudly and smacked Aiba on the shoulder. "Nice try, kid! How much did you spend on him?"
"A lot," said Aiba unrepentantly. He stuck out his lower lip, like a child playing at being sulky. "And I didn't get to make out with him or anything, thanks to you."
"Hey!" said Jun.
"I wanted to make out with you!" said Aiba. Jun turned red. Aiba already had managed to make him blush more in a day and a half than anybody else had in ..... a very long time, and it was beginning to be irritating. He lifted his hand again, and Aiba covered his head, looking up at him with laughing eyes. "I was really looking forward to it!"
"Shut up," said Jun, but lowered his hand.
"There there," said Rie-chan soothingly. She looked at Jun. "Would you like to come to the office with us?" She smiled again, a flashing grin with too many teeth. "We gotta get back to work and he might as well get his money's worth."
"Can you?" said Aiba, and there was a wistful tone in his voice that almost made Jun refuse right away. He hesitated, and his phone began to buzz. He pulled it out and flipped it open. His client for the afternoon had texted him, saying GOT A REAL DATE THX 4 THE FUN.
"Ass," said Jun without heat, and closed his phone. He looked up. "Well, I guess I'm free for the afternoon unexpectedly."
"Yay!" said Aiba, beaming.
"Yay!" echoed Rie-chan, grinning like a shark.
Jun just wondered what he was getting in to.
file is at 9288 words. send booze. sob. oh god only half done if that. i want to dieeeeee..
TITLE: The First Five Times
PAIRING: Arashi, AibaJun, Ohmiya secondary
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Oh god, not mine.
RATING: R because I freaking made Matsujun a freaking hooker you guys. Please note that the rating is mostly because of the language so far, and will probably continue that way. It's actually more of a screwball comedy .... about hookers.
SUMMARY: Their fake date is fake, but Jun's got an awful feeling these feelings are becoming real.
NOTES: I guess I don't have any dignity left after all! Thanks to acchikocchi, beckerbell, honooko, lady_gemma, nyonyo and wintersjuly for putting up with my whining, iluguys ;___;♥
Also, uh, if you haven't seen Aiba vs Kangaroos, YOUTUBE IT INSTANTLY.
| PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR |
"Okay," said Jun. "We're going to walk past the kangaroo habitat again, and this time you're going to look instead of cowering behind me."
"I'm not cowering!" said Aiba.
"Get your hands off my shirt," said Jun, surprising himself with his own patience. It had been an incredibly long hour, with Aiba dragging him from habitat to habitat, cooing over the hippo babies (Jun looked at them and was reminded strongly of Akanishi) and trying to start a staring contest with a lemur, and all around acting like he was five years old. A five year old who was taller than Jun and wearing a pair of jeans melted to his ass and a shirt that said SEXUALITY SEVENTIES STYLE. Jun had a migraine.
Aiba loosened his grip on Jun's tissue-weight silk pullover, but stayed behind Jun. "They kick really hard, you know!"
"No, I don't," said Jun, his temper beginning to fray. "What sort of person is scared that kangaroos are going to kick them?"
"They almost got the goods!" said Aiba, his voice high and a little hysterical. "It was really scary! He kept glaring at me out of his beady kangaroo eyes!"
Jun twisted around and stared at him. Aiba stuck his lower lip out. "My boss thought it would suggest an athletic appeal," he said.
"I'm sorry," said Jun, "I've got to stand here and enjoy that mental image for a while." He could just see Aiba and the kangaroo staring at each other, Aiba's eyes growing bigger and bigger with excitement and fear, and the kangaroo eyeing him contemptuously. "This almost makes up for the bird shit on my shoe," he added, even though watching Aiba feed the tropical birds little pieces of sweet fruit had been cuter than he really wanted to admit.
"Matsumoto," whined Aiba. "You're mean! I'm telling!" He was smiling widely and his hand brushed up against Jun's back. "Matsujun's mean, mean! Why is Jun-chan so mean!"
"If you seriously call me Jun-chan I'm going to trip you into the kangaroo habitat," said Jun.
"But Matsujun's okay?" demanded Aiba. He put his head to the side and stared at Jun intently.
"I guess," said Jun, looking away. He was embarrassed and so he added, "And you're still looking at the cute kangaroos."
"I'd rather look at you," said Aiba, so Jun hit him.
In the Sea Systems exhibit, a pair of otters were floating on the surface of the water. They had their paws hooked together, bobbing together as they slept. They bumped against the side of the wall and lost their grip. The otters drifted apart and then bumped together again. One of them woke up a little, reached out and fussily took the other's paw in his own again and then, to all appearances, fell back into contented sleep. "My God," said Jun, fascinated. "It's Nino and Ohno."
"Their names are Keiichiro and Shigeaki," reported Aiba, reading the display. "'Otters are social creatures and often form affectionate bonds with each other.'"
"Mommy," said a child beside them, "why do both the otters have boy names?"
"Oh my God," said Jun. "You are never allowed near an elephant again."
"I was just saying," wailed Aiba, as Jun dragged him off, feeling the glares of parents of small children behind him.
"I don't care how big his thing was!" yelled Jun, and got a glare of his own from a teacher shepherding a line of children around.
"You're getting a lot of messages on your phone," said Aiba, looking at him.
Jun deleted the message without doing more than skimming it. All it had was empty threats and pleas. "It's fine," he said indifferently. "He'll get over himself soon."
"If you say so," said Aiba, his voice troubled.
"Hey, look, there's a guy in a pink bunny suit doing balloon animals," said Jun, pointing.
"Really?" said Aiba, whipping around so fast Jun thought he was going to get whiplash.
"You're walking past the kangaroo habitat on purpose," said Aiba hysterically.
"I can't help if it's in the center of the zoo," said Jun, almost keeping a straight face.
"Shut up," said Jun.
"What do you even put on your hair?" said Aiba, trying to compose his face.
"Just plain gel!" snapped Jun.
"I kind of want to taste it now," said Aiba, eying the ruin of Jun's hair. Jun tried to comb it out as best as he could, but llama spit wasn't going to come out without a shower and several rinses of shampoo.
"No matter what the fucking llama fucking thought," said Jun, "I promise you it is not super tasty."
Aiba giggled helplessly.
As they walked out of the zoo, Aiba tried to convince Jun that he wanted to get a lion plushie and also that they should eat crepes. Jun was positive that he didn't want a lion plushie, but the crepes sounded pretty good. Jun didn't eat a lot usually. ("Is there something you want to talk to us about?" demanded Sakurai one night, watching Jun pick at his food. "You made all this, you should have some!" "He just likes living on his nerves," said Nino, stealing a tuna roll. "You know, the one who lives on the pain of others shouldn't really talk," said Jun, but he ate another piece of inarizushi to make Sho stop staring at him.) Aiba, on the other hand, had eaten a cone of cotton candy, a pretzel ("Are you sure you don't want one?" he said. "Yes, I am absolutely sure I don't want to die of a heart attack," said Jun, staring at the salt standing in snowy heaps on the heavily buttered pretzel), two pieces of fudge, a cola and a corn dog, in the most unconsciously filthy way Jun had ever seen. He hoped it was unconscious. If it was conscious, Aiba was totally in the wrong career.
"I guess a crepe would be nice," said Jun, and then instantly regretted it when Aiba dragged him over to the stand, bought one filled with cream cheese and licked the filling out with enthusiastic attention to detail. Jun took a slow bite out of his Nutella crepe and thought about his client that afternoon. He had to meet him in an hour. He was a nice kid, a few years younger than Jun. Jun suspected he was just bored and lonely. It wasn't too bad. He was kind of big and awkward but careful about it.
Aiba finished licking sweetened cream off his fingers. Jun looked away. "That was really tasty," said Aiba. "I've never had a Nutella one, though," he added.
Jun sighed in resignation and held it out.
"I was going to buy one," said Aiba reproachfully, but before Jun could snap at him, he reached out and took Jun's wrist gently in his grip and lifted it up. Jun gaped at him. Aiba took a delicate bite out of the side of the crepe and released his grip on Jun.
"You might as well have it," said Jun, purely on autopilot. His hand still burned where Aiba had touched him.
"Really?" said Aiba, but he took it from Jun and began to eat it.
"It's not sanitary to do things like that!" said Jun hopelessly. It was like the time he'd come home to find Nino pressing Ohno against the kitchen table. Sometimes it seemed like he was the only person in the world who knew how important cleanliness was.
"It's very good," said Aiba, licking a bit of chocolate from his lip. "I could buy you another one."
"No thank you," said Jun with a sigh. "Don't you have to go to work soon?"
"Oh, right," said Aiba, looking at his watch. "Do you want to walk with me for a while? So it looks like a real date," he added.
"Fine," said Jun. As they walked through the park, something that had been working through the back of his mind came to the front again. He said, "You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but why a fake boyfriend?"
"You've never met the people at my work," said Aiba. "They're all girls, and they all pinch my butt."
Jun opened his mouth and shut it again when he discovered he was about to say he could hardly blame them. Just then, someone's voice bellowed "AIBA-CHAN!" Aiba turned around and said, "Um," and then, "Shit, it's my boss." A lady in her fifties trotted up to them. Her face was attractive in a craggy and rather masculine way, and she had laugh lines around her eyes and mouth.
"Boss," said Aiba, very brightly. "Hi. Um. I was just um. Heading back to the um. Office."
"That's fine," said his boss. "We don't have to start up until later this afternoon." She eyed Jun with blatant curiosity. "Who's this, then?" she demanded.
"This is um my boyfriend," said Aiba, clearly trying to be convincing. Jun closed his eyes in acute pain, and didn't realize Aiba was reaching for his hand until Aiba had it wrapped in his own. His hand was warm and a little damp with nervousness. "His name is Matsumoto Jun! And he's my boyfriend!"
"Aiba," said Jun, only slightly between his teeth.
Aiba's boss put her hands on her hips. "That," she said, more in sorrow than in anger, "is not a boyfriend, it is a hooker."
"Um," said Aiba. "How do you know that? He could be a boyfriend and a hooker! Or --"
Jun smacked him on the back of the head, so he yelped and stumbled forward, but righted himself like a round doll.
"I thought I told you," said Aiba's boss, "that if you were going to try to produce a fake boyfriend to stop us from groping you, I expected it to be your little social worker friend."
"I tried!" said Aiba. He looked at her appealingly. "He spontaneously levitated to the ceiling and wouldn't come down until I swore on a stack of TOKIO cds that I wouldn't do it to him, and then he covered his butt with a cushion every time he got up!"
Jun smacked him again. There was something very satisfying about it, he thought. Aiba looked at him with reproachful puppy eyes, but didn't move away from him.
"That boy's butt is clean wasted on social work," said Aiba's boss, in the tone of a woman brooding over her wrongs. Jun looked at her with new respect. Clearly she was a woman of great good sense and taste, even if she was a little crazy. "My name's Shibata Rie," she said. "You can call me Rie-chan." She laughed loudly and smacked Aiba on the shoulder. "Nice try, kid! How much did you spend on him?"
"A lot," said Aiba unrepentantly. He stuck out his lower lip, like a child playing at being sulky. "And I didn't get to make out with him or anything, thanks to you."
"Hey!" said Jun.
"I wanted to make out with you!" said Aiba. Jun turned red. Aiba already had managed to make him blush more in a day and a half than anybody else had in ..... a very long time, and it was beginning to be irritating. He lifted his hand again, and Aiba covered his head, looking up at him with laughing eyes. "I was really looking forward to it!"
"Shut up," said Jun, but lowered his hand.
"There there," said Rie-chan soothingly. She looked at Jun. "Would you like to come to the office with us?" She smiled again, a flashing grin with too many teeth. "We gotta get back to work and he might as well get his money's worth."
"Can you?" said Aiba, and there was a wistful tone in his voice that almost made Jun refuse right away. He hesitated, and his phone began to buzz. He pulled it out and flipped it open. His client for the afternoon had texted him, saying GOT A REAL DATE THX 4 THE FUN.
"Ass," said Jun without heat, and closed his phone. He looked up. "Well, I guess I'm free for the afternoon unexpectedly."
"Yay!" said Aiba, beaming.
"Yay!" echoed Rie-chan, grinning like a shark.
Jun just wondered what he was getting in to.