Confession [3/?]
Title : Confession
Pairing : Uchipi - Ryotego
Summary : Being with someone who doesn't make your heart beats faster is not love and a love where you are just chasing is painful.
A/N : I'm back with chap 3 now~~~
my dearly little sister made this fic graph >(^^)<
[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2]
Chapter 3
“You are precious! You own the stage! You were great up there!!” said Ryo catching his breath.
--- ---
“Mmm.. Excuse me, do I know you?” asked Tegoshi bluntly.
Right there, Ryo who was down on his knees was totally surprised by the feedback that the younger boy gave to him. There’s nothing Ryo could do, he felt so shocked.
Uchi exchanged glare with Yamapi, also confused. It seems like Yamapi reads Uchi’s mind, he was also puzzled whether Tegoshi was just acting or he really does forgotten about Ryo. But neither of them dared to speak up. Uchi and Yamapi only were standing close to each other, staring at Ryo.
Ryo lowered his head, his full of big bouquet hand also already near to the ground. “It’s me..”
“Huh? Who are you?” said Tegoshi rather annoyed voice. His hands are folded in front of his chest.
“It’s me.. Ryo..”
Then there was this long, super long pause. The situation was hard to predict, not one of them knows what to do or react to Tegoshi’s sudden amnesia or whatever that is. Uchi was worried, and he felt sad. But he knew it wasn’t the time to butt in right now.
So he just grabbed on Yamapi’s hand slowly, held it tight as the older boy holds back.
Hoping for Ryo and Tegoshi. Maybe neither one of them realized what they did there.
Ryo thought there’s nothing he could do right now, he’ll just go and forget about it. It’s over, maybe it’s really over for him and Tegoshi.
“……”
“Nee…” said Tegoshi suddenly.
Ryo hurriedly lift his head up.
“You know.. I thought I’ll never see you again..” said Tegoshi slowly, in small voice. “Oh
well, thanks for the flower.. You can go now.. Go disappear again.. see you in two years
again, bye..”
Tegoshi took the flower from Ryo’s hand and smelled it for a bit. He waved at Uchi and Yamapi, looks like a waved of good-bye. Then turn his body away to go someplace else. He rather be someplace else than being there with Ryo.
Tegoshi’s step took him further and further away. And Ryo was just stayed there, still on his knees .
“Nishikido-kun..” Uchi wanted to get near him but suddenly Ryo got up. “I’M SORRY!”
He said that so loud just to make sure Tegoshi heard that. And yes he did. So Tegoshi stopped his step. Turn his body around facing Ryo again now.
“I’m sorry..” said Ryo again, softly this time as he began walking closer to Tegoshi.
Now that he’s close enough to Tegoshi. He could see that the younger boy’s face was already red and his eyes were teary. But he still look mad, like he doesn’t want to be defeated. Tegoshi was and still a stubborn person, so he won’t let Ryo see him cry.
“What are you doing here now?” said Tegoshi, staring directly to Ryo’s eyes.
“I love you..”
“You didn’t answer my question!” shouted Tegoshi impatiently.
“I don’t know what I’m doing here, I can’t think of anything.. I can only think of meeting you, I want to meet you.. I want to say that I’m sorry.. I miss.. you...”
“You expect me to believe that?” said Tegoshi with a pissed tone. He even chuckles a bit.
“Please, Tegoshi..” said Ryo.
“What are you sorry for? You’re sorry for disappearing without saying good bye?” asked Tegoshi sarcastically. He doesn’t seem trilled to see Ryo at all. “You’re sorry for what? For what?!!! For making me feel alone?”
“You gave me no chance, Tegoshi..”
“Well that’s your problem, isn’t it? You know how selfish I can be, but you said it’s okay.. You said you’ll love me no matter what! I believed you! But you left me!” Tegoshi narrowed his eyes, he was upset.
“You’re the one who kept playing with my heart! As if I was your own private toy!” said Ryo eagerly.
“So what?!” snapped Tegoshi back.
Ryo’s eye brows twitched. “You seriously asked that? So what??? Are you mad, Tegoshi… You hurt me!”
“I don’t care! You hurt me too!!”
--- ---
“How’s Tegoshi doing?” asked Uchi when he met Yamapi at the parking lot.
“He’s at my car.. I think he’s still angry.. What I mean by that is crying..” explained Yamapi slowly. He sat down on the bench. Let out a deep sigh, tired.
Uchi followed sitting beside him. But carefully to still be in a proper distance with Yamapi. He doesn’t want both of them to be that awkward again.
Uchi took a glace to his left. Not far from there he saw Ryo’s car. With Ryo inside, just sitting looking depressed and mad. Meawhile Tegoshi was inside Yamapi’s car on the right side of the parking lot.
“Umm.. maybe we should leave them..?” asked Uchi hesitantly.
“Yeah.. I’ll just get my car back later..” replied Yamapi. “Let’s go..”
Uchi and Yamapi left Ryo and Tegoshi there, hoping that the two of them would stop being angry at each other and talk it out. It’s not going to be easy, since they’ve been separated for 2 years. Who knows if they’ve become a different person? Or.. maybe haven’t changed at all.
Ryo hit the steering wheel hard with his fist, before throwing himself out from the car. He knew he should be the one taking the first step, again, like always. So Ryo tried to calm himself down, anger won’t solve anything.
He walked slowly to the other car. Bending his body down, knocking on the window. He saw Tegoshi was curled up on the seat. Refuses to open neither the door nor the window. But after a while, Ryo managed to make him lowered the window.
Ryo was so ready to start bickering again, but then he realized Tegoshi aren’t capable to reply to his words since he looked sad, and teary.
“WHAAT?!” snapped Tegoshi harshly.
“Hey.. Why… Are are you crying?” asked Ryo concerned.
“Yea, I’m crying and it’s none of your business! Just go! I want to be alone!”
Ryo put his hand through the car window and unlocked the door. He opened car door and moved closer until he can reach Tegoshi. He leaned in, but Tegoshi pushed him out a couple time.
Still crying, he can’t deny that he could really use a shoulder to cry on. So when Ryo freely offer himself, Tegoshi grabbed him and buried his face on Ryo’s chest. In his heart he felt lucky to be where he’s longing for this whole time.
He miss Ryo.
He miss his Ryo.
“Ryo..” cried Tegoshi weakly.
“It will be alright, Tegoshi.. I’m here..”
“I’m so miserable when you’re gone.. I was crying for a week back then, I waited for your
call everyday.. But you never did call.. I hate it, I can’t see you everyday like I used to..”
“I’m an idiot, Tegoshi..”
“Where were you??? You promised me back then that you’ll be there on my graduation day.. You know my brother doesn’t really care about my school ceremony stuff, so I was alone on my graduation day.. I cried when I remembered you promised to be there!”
Ryo held him closer, close enough that he wished he could turn back time and re-do all of this again.
“I love you..” said Ryo.
“Whatever!!” cried Tegoshi.
“I love you..”
Tegoshi slowly stopped crying, he just leaned to Ryo who kept brushing his hands on
Tegoshi’s hair. Making the younger boy feels secure and comfortable. And most importantly making him feel like he’s not alone.
--- ---
“Haaa… Yokatta..” said Uchi laughing.
Not far from there, Uchi and Yamapi who was sitting near the park, waiting for Ryo and Tegoshi, now staring at the two making up.
Tegoshi moved to Ryo’s car, and they went away.
Yamapi was smiling. Then he leaned back to the bench, closed his eyes for a moment. It’s true that Ryo and Tegoshi looked happy together, but somehow it reminds Yamapi that he’ll never have that.
And Uchi does already have someone.
Trrrrrttt…….. Trrrrrrrrrtttttt………..
“Ah, hai.. moshi-moshi?” said Uchi, answering his ringing cellphone.
“Uchi.. Where are you? Already done with the play?” asked the man on the phone.
“Yes.. I’m on my way back soon, Jun.. Where are you?” asked Uchi.
“I’m at my apartment.. It’s near, ne? Why don’t you come over, then I’ll drive you home
later..”
“Alright.. Matte, ne..” said Uchi chuckles.
Uchi put his cellphone back to his pocket, stared at his watch, knowing that he should be going now. Uchi wanted to say goodbye, but when he looked back he saw Yamapi still closing his eyes, just sitting quietly.
“Anoo.. Yamashita-kun..”
“Hmm?”
“I have to go.. So, I guess.. Bye..” said Uchi, He knew he should leave now. But why do his
feet so hard to move? Because he doesn’t know when will he see Yamapi again. But he has to, he has to go.
“Oh, okay.. Bye, Pikachu..” said Yamapi smiling bitterly, waved his hand.
Pikachu..
Why does he had to call me that again..
“Nee.. Are you going to that man’s place?” Yamapi sudden question brought Uchi to see Yamapi’s face one more time.
Uchi saw Yamapi got up from his seat and walked near him, which made Uchi took a couple step back.
“Yea, he.. he’s my boyfriend..” said Uchi, sounded strong.
Yamapi looked trembled for a moment, he just gave Uchi a kind stare. Smiling as if he would just forget about this matter, and let it slipped off away from him and his memories.
That feeling that he’s been holding for so long.
It’s a shame though, what he wants is clearly in front of him.
Standing and staring at him still with those delicate yet beautiful eyes. The same brown eyes that he once fell in love with 2 years ago.
But love doesn’t seem to be enough for him, not enough to make him do the right thing and stay by Uchi’s side at that time. It made him blind and did the wrong thing until things end
up like this. Hurt. That’s all what’s left from the past.
Yamapi looked down for a bit.
“Uchi..”
“Yes..”
“Do you… really have forgotten about… me?”
“Eh?”
Yamapi waited, he really wants to hear Uchi’s answer. He wanted to make sure if Uchi really had erased all about him and moved on, because Yamapi definitely hasn’t.
He still loves the person in front of him right now.
“Yamapi.. Why are you asking me this now?” said Uchi confused.
“Can’t you see..?” said Yamapi slowly. “ I’m not over you.. I’ve tried to forget you, but no matter how hard I try.. I can’t.. I can’t, Uchi…”
Uchi’s eyes looks teary suddenly but he wasn’t crying, he just seems hurt because they were talking about the past. He knew deep in his heart that something like this would happen soon or later, he just wasn’t expecting it to be this hard to deal with.
“I can’t do this, Yamapi..” said Uchi. “It’s all way back in the past..”
“Please, Uchi..”
“But as you can see, I have Jun in my life now.. I can’t say that I’m not over you.. I’ve moved on..” said Uchi, he felt like his heart was crying inside. And seems like this was the hardest thing he has ever say to others.
“If you say… Now.. If you say that you’re really happy, I’m going to walk away.. And never going to bring this up again.. “ said Yamapi as if he’s pleading Uchi to accept him again.
“I’ll let this be the last memory of you… in my life.. ever..”
Uchi closed his face with his both palm, he was too confused. He realized that somehow this was like a choice. He has to pick one according to what his heart says. He has to choose between the past or what he has now.
Uchi knew he’s battling in his own head, there were so many voices telling him what to do. But not giving him a single answer. The image of Jun and the times they both spent together kept replaying in his mind. It was Jun the one staying in his side for good and bad times, he support him all this time, who gave a good night kiss for him, who gently hugged him.
“I’m.. I’m.. over you, Yamashita-kun..”
--- ---
Yamapi has to accept that fact that Uchi chosed somebody else. It was already very selfish for him to ask Uchi to rethink about all this. Now he must stick to his words, and walk away.
Yamapi sighed sadly. “It’s okay..”
“I’m sorry, Yamashita-kun..”
“It’s okay, Uchi.. Maybe I just need more time to forget about you..”
“I’m sorry…”
Yamapi waved good-bye before turning his body behind, and walks away from where he’s
standing. Slowly getting further and further from Uchi.
Uchi thought this was the right decision, but his whole body felt tense and anxious. He just ignores the fact that he missed Yamapi all these times. He has to admit the image of Yamapi walking away this time was more painful than the last time.
Is there really no second chance for them?
“YAMAPI!!”
Yamapi almost didn’t believe it when he heard Uchi calling his name. His hands were already grabbing the car handle to get inside his car. But right now, both of his hands are trapped inside Uchi’s arms who hugged him from behind.
“Yamashita-kun..” cried Uchi.
--- ---
sorry i'm a bit busy and got distracted with many stuff!
in two weeks i'll start my internship!
i'm nervous and very excited at the same time! lol
anyway hope you'll like this chap!
as always comment are LOVE <3333
Pairing : Uchipi - Ryotego
Summary : Being with someone who doesn't make your heart beats faster is not love and a love where you are just chasing is painful.
A/N : I'm back with chap 3 now~~~
my dearly little sister made this fic graph >(^^)<
[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2]
Chapter 3
“You are precious! You own the stage! You were great up there!!” said Ryo catching his breath.
--- ---
“Mmm.. Excuse me, do I know you?” asked Tegoshi bluntly.
Right there, Ryo who was down on his knees was totally surprised by the feedback that the younger boy gave to him. There’s nothing Ryo could do, he felt so shocked.
Uchi exchanged glare with Yamapi, also confused. It seems like Yamapi reads Uchi’s mind, he was also puzzled whether Tegoshi was just acting or he really does forgotten about Ryo. But neither of them dared to speak up. Uchi and Yamapi only were standing close to each other, staring at Ryo.
Ryo lowered his head, his full of big bouquet hand also already near to the ground. “It’s me..”
“Huh? Who are you?” said Tegoshi rather annoyed voice. His hands are folded in front of his chest.
“It’s me.. Ryo..”
Then there was this long, super long pause. The situation was hard to predict, not one of them knows what to do or react to Tegoshi’s sudden amnesia or whatever that is. Uchi was worried, and he felt sad. But he knew it wasn’t the time to butt in right now.
So he just grabbed on Yamapi’s hand slowly, held it tight as the older boy holds back.
Hoping for Ryo and Tegoshi. Maybe neither one of them realized what they did there.
Ryo thought there’s nothing he could do right now, he’ll just go and forget about it. It’s over, maybe it’s really over for him and Tegoshi.
“……”
“Nee…” said Tegoshi suddenly.
Ryo hurriedly lift his head up.
“You know.. I thought I’ll never see you again..” said Tegoshi slowly, in small voice. “Oh
well, thanks for the flower.. You can go now.. Go disappear again.. see you in two years
again, bye..”
Tegoshi took the flower from Ryo’s hand and smelled it for a bit. He waved at Uchi and Yamapi, looks like a waved of good-bye. Then turn his body away to go someplace else. He rather be someplace else than being there with Ryo.
Tegoshi’s step took him further and further away. And Ryo was just stayed there, still on his knees .
“Nishikido-kun..” Uchi wanted to get near him but suddenly Ryo got up. “I’M SORRY!”
He said that so loud just to make sure Tegoshi heard that. And yes he did. So Tegoshi stopped his step. Turn his body around facing Ryo again now.
“I’m sorry..” said Ryo again, softly this time as he began walking closer to Tegoshi.
Now that he’s close enough to Tegoshi. He could see that the younger boy’s face was already red and his eyes were teary. But he still look mad, like he doesn’t want to be defeated. Tegoshi was and still a stubborn person, so he won’t let Ryo see him cry.
“What are you doing here now?” said Tegoshi, staring directly to Ryo’s eyes.
“I love you..”
“You didn’t answer my question!” shouted Tegoshi impatiently.
“I don’t know what I’m doing here, I can’t think of anything.. I can only think of meeting you, I want to meet you.. I want to say that I’m sorry.. I miss.. you...”
“You expect me to believe that?” said Tegoshi with a pissed tone. He even chuckles a bit.
“Please, Tegoshi..” said Ryo.
“What are you sorry for? You’re sorry for disappearing without saying good bye?” asked Tegoshi sarcastically. He doesn’t seem trilled to see Ryo at all. “You’re sorry for what? For what?!!! For making me feel alone?”
“You gave me no chance, Tegoshi..”
“Well that’s your problem, isn’t it? You know how selfish I can be, but you said it’s okay.. You said you’ll love me no matter what! I believed you! But you left me!” Tegoshi narrowed his eyes, he was upset.
“You’re the one who kept playing with my heart! As if I was your own private toy!” said Ryo eagerly.
“So what?!” snapped Tegoshi back.
Ryo’s eye brows twitched. “You seriously asked that? So what??? Are you mad, Tegoshi… You hurt me!”
“I don’t care! You hurt me too!!”
--- ---
“How’s Tegoshi doing?” asked Uchi when he met Yamapi at the parking lot.
“He’s at my car.. I think he’s still angry.. What I mean by that is crying..” explained Yamapi slowly. He sat down on the bench. Let out a deep sigh, tired.
Uchi followed sitting beside him. But carefully to still be in a proper distance with Yamapi. He doesn’t want both of them to be that awkward again.
Uchi took a glace to his left. Not far from there he saw Ryo’s car. With Ryo inside, just sitting looking depressed and mad. Meawhile Tegoshi was inside Yamapi’s car on the right side of the parking lot.
“Umm.. maybe we should leave them..?” asked Uchi hesitantly.
“Yeah.. I’ll just get my car back later..” replied Yamapi. “Let’s go..”
Uchi and Yamapi left Ryo and Tegoshi there, hoping that the two of them would stop being angry at each other and talk it out. It’s not going to be easy, since they’ve been separated for 2 years. Who knows if they’ve become a different person? Or.. maybe haven’t changed at all.
Ryo hit the steering wheel hard with his fist, before throwing himself out from the car. He knew he should be the one taking the first step, again, like always. So Ryo tried to calm himself down, anger won’t solve anything.
He walked slowly to the other car. Bending his body down, knocking on the window. He saw Tegoshi was curled up on the seat. Refuses to open neither the door nor the window. But after a while, Ryo managed to make him lowered the window.
Ryo was so ready to start bickering again, but then he realized Tegoshi aren’t capable to reply to his words since he looked sad, and teary.
“WHAAT?!” snapped Tegoshi harshly.
“Hey.. Why… Are are you crying?” asked Ryo concerned.
“Yea, I’m crying and it’s none of your business! Just go! I want to be alone!”
Ryo put his hand through the car window and unlocked the door. He opened car door and moved closer until he can reach Tegoshi. He leaned in, but Tegoshi pushed him out a couple time.
Still crying, he can’t deny that he could really use a shoulder to cry on. So when Ryo freely offer himself, Tegoshi grabbed him and buried his face on Ryo’s chest. In his heart he felt lucky to be where he’s longing for this whole time.
He miss Ryo.
He miss his Ryo.
“Ryo..” cried Tegoshi weakly.
“It will be alright, Tegoshi.. I’m here..”
“I’m so miserable when you’re gone.. I was crying for a week back then, I waited for your
call everyday.. But you never did call.. I hate it, I can’t see you everyday like I used to..”
“I’m an idiot, Tegoshi..”
“Where were you??? You promised me back then that you’ll be there on my graduation day.. You know my brother doesn’t really care about my school ceremony stuff, so I was alone on my graduation day.. I cried when I remembered you promised to be there!”
Ryo held him closer, close enough that he wished he could turn back time and re-do all of this again.
“I love you..” said Ryo.
“Whatever!!” cried Tegoshi.
“I love you..”
Tegoshi slowly stopped crying, he just leaned to Ryo who kept brushing his hands on
Tegoshi’s hair. Making the younger boy feels secure and comfortable. And most importantly making him feel like he’s not alone.
--- ---
“Haaa… Yokatta..” said Uchi laughing.
Not far from there, Uchi and Yamapi who was sitting near the park, waiting for Ryo and Tegoshi, now staring at the two making up.
Tegoshi moved to Ryo’s car, and they went away.
Yamapi was smiling. Then he leaned back to the bench, closed his eyes for a moment. It’s true that Ryo and Tegoshi looked happy together, but somehow it reminds Yamapi that he’ll never have that.
And Uchi does already have someone.
Trrrrrttt…….. Trrrrrrrrrtttttt………..
“Ah, hai.. moshi-moshi?” said Uchi, answering his ringing cellphone.
“Uchi.. Where are you? Already done with the play?” asked the man on the phone.
“Yes.. I’m on my way back soon, Jun.. Where are you?” asked Uchi.
“I’m at my apartment.. It’s near, ne? Why don’t you come over, then I’ll drive you home
later..”
“Alright.. Matte, ne..” said Uchi chuckles.
Uchi put his cellphone back to his pocket, stared at his watch, knowing that he should be going now. Uchi wanted to say goodbye, but when he looked back he saw Yamapi still closing his eyes, just sitting quietly.
“Anoo.. Yamashita-kun..”
“Hmm?”
“I have to go.. So, I guess.. Bye..” said Uchi, He knew he should leave now. But why do his
feet so hard to move? Because he doesn’t know when will he see Yamapi again. But he has to, he has to go.
“Oh, okay.. Bye, Pikachu..” said Yamapi smiling bitterly, waved his hand.
Pikachu..
Why does he had to call me that again..
“Nee.. Are you going to that man’s place?” Yamapi sudden question brought Uchi to see Yamapi’s face one more time.
Uchi saw Yamapi got up from his seat and walked near him, which made Uchi took a couple step back.
“Yea, he.. he’s my boyfriend..” said Uchi, sounded strong.
Yamapi looked trembled for a moment, he just gave Uchi a kind stare. Smiling as if he would just forget about this matter, and let it slipped off away from him and his memories.
That feeling that he’s been holding for so long.
It’s a shame though, what he wants is clearly in front of him.
Standing and staring at him still with those delicate yet beautiful eyes. The same brown eyes that he once fell in love with 2 years ago.
But love doesn’t seem to be enough for him, not enough to make him do the right thing and stay by Uchi’s side at that time. It made him blind and did the wrong thing until things end
up like this. Hurt. That’s all what’s left from the past.
Yamapi looked down for a bit.
“Uchi..”
“Yes..”
“Do you… really have forgotten about… me?”
“Eh?”
Yamapi waited, he really wants to hear Uchi’s answer. He wanted to make sure if Uchi really had erased all about him and moved on, because Yamapi definitely hasn’t.
He still loves the person in front of him right now.
“Yamapi.. Why are you asking me this now?” said Uchi confused.
“Can’t you see..?” said Yamapi slowly. “ I’m not over you.. I’ve tried to forget you, but no matter how hard I try.. I can’t.. I can’t, Uchi…”
Uchi’s eyes looks teary suddenly but he wasn’t crying, he just seems hurt because they were talking about the past. He knew deep in his heart that something like this would happen soon or later, he just wasn’t expecting it to be this hard to deal with.
“I can’t do this, Yamapi..” said Uchi. “It’s all way back in the past..”
“Please, Uchi..”
“But as you can see, I have Jun in my life now.. I can’t say that I’m not over you.. I’ve moved on..” said Uchi, he felt like his heart was crying inside. And seems like this was the hardest thing he has ever say to others.
“If you say… Now.. If you say that you’re really happy, I’m going to walk away.. And never going to bring this up again.. “ said Yamapi as if he’s pleading Uchi to accept him again.
“I’ll let this be the last memory of you… in my life.. ever..”
Uchi closed his face with his both palm, he was too confused. He realized that somehow this was like a choice. He has to pick one according to what his heart says. He has to choose between the past or what he has now.
Uchi knew he’s battling in his own head, there were so many voices telling him what to do. But not giving him a single answer. The image of Jun and the times they both spent together kept replaying in his mind. It was Jun the one staying in his side for good and bad times, he support him all this time, who gave a good night kiss for him, who gently hugged him.
“I’m.. I’m.. over you, Yamashita-kun..”
--- ---
Yamapi has to accept that fact that Uchi chosed somebody else. It was already very selfish for him to ask Uchi to rethink about all this. Now he must stick to his words, and walk away.
Yamapi sighed sadly. “It’s okay..”
“I’m sorry, Yamashita-kun..”
“It’s okay, Uchi.. Maybe I just need more time to forget about you..”
“I’m sorry…”
Yamapi waved good-bye before turning his body behind, and walks away from where he’s
standing. Slowly getting further and further from Uchi.
Uchi thought this was the right decision, but his whole body felt tense and anxious. He just ignores the fact that he missed Yamapi all these times. He has to admit the image of Yamapi walking away this time was more painful than the last time.
Is there really no second chance for them?
“YAMAPI!!”
Yamapi almost didn’t believe it when he heard Uchi calling his name. His hands were already grabbing the car handle to get inside his car. But right now, both of his hands are trapped inside Uchi’s arms who hugged him from behind.
“Yamashita-kun..” cried Uchi.
--- ---
sorry i'm a bit busy and got distracted with many stuff!
in two weeks i'll start my internship!
i'm nervous and very excited at the same time! lol
anyway hope you'll like this chap!
as always comment are LOVE <3333