there isn't one title that would cover all this
We drew soccer, which is pretty good. It was an alright game, but at least we didn't lose, even though it's not about the losing.
I've acquired a cough, and a very, very sore throat. I don't know where I got it off, as everyone I know has been sick with different things, and I haven't heard anyone complaining of a sore throat. Mum said that both Louise and Jayden had runny noses, which Bub has now got. I know Andie and another friend from work had the vomiting thing. I don't know what Joe was sick with, or what anyone else was sick with, and lots of people have been calling into work sick lately. It's sick season. Or maybe cough/cold/flu season. That reminds me, Mum was lovely enough to make me an appointment for my flu vac. I don't have to get it, but Mum says I should because we're in a high risk group because we have asthma. But I don't want to purposely make myself feel like shit for a few days, but now I feel like shit anways. I do have a runny nose now, although I'm not sure if that's because it's cold, or because I've been sneezing; and I'm not sure if I'm sneezing because I'm cold, or because I'm sick, or because the flat isn't really that clean and dust affects me.
It's cold. I hate cold. Walking to work at 5:30am is never fun, but especially not when it's cold. And it's not even winter yet! It's only going to get worse from now on. I'm already wearing my singlet, work shirt, vest, jacket and another jacket over the top. Soon I'm going to break into the scarves and gloves, and possibly even another pair of pants. I haven't gotten my big jacket out yet; it's sitting in a box with some underwear and the rest of my uni textbooks at the moment. Yes my stuff is still in boxes, even though we've been in for weeks. I haven't had time.
Work wasn't too bad today. I wasn't sure I was going to make it through the day, but I did. But I got worse as I went on, and went from being not too bad and just tired to awake with a bad cough and really irritating scratchy throat. I sold two phones today, and I've never sold a phone before so that was exciting. I also rang in a cigarette discrepency, which I've only ever done once and with a watchful eye over my shoulder. The joys of being trained. I did it though, and I did it pretty much right, I just needed to ask which pieces of paper to send away and which of the left over pieces to file where. I even got the count done, which was really cool cause I haven't been able to do it much. I kind of feel like I keep getting the short end of the straw, because I've got a bad track record with doing the counts. My excuses are plausible though, and they include that I haven't been given the gun (once the battery went dead, one Monday it wasn't left out for me, and once the liquor manager purposely came in early so he could get it before I did) and the fact that the bosses have come in and I've had big loads to put away before they get there. It's impossible to do seven boxes plus the count, so on days like that I haven't gotten the count done. I was really excited this morning cause I thought that I had gotten everything done, and got it done relatively well and relatively quickly, and after I have my lunch break my manager tells me that I didn't correct all the liquor tickets. Thursday I am going to nail everything. Or at least I'm going to try. It depends on how big the load is.
I had a shocking sleep last night. I have this complex where sometimes I think I won't get up because I'll sleep through my alarm, so I subconsciously make it harder for me to get to sleep, so I sleep lighter and it's easier to wake up. It sucks, because I know my alarm is loud enough to wake me, and that it keeps going until I stop it. I've never slept through an alarm, although I have had dreams that I have. I woke up at something like quarter to one this morning, thinking that it obviously had to be around five because I was awake. It took forever to get to sleep in the first place, and then forever again after I'd woken up then. I woke up again and Mark went to get a drink or something, and I think it was around two. Again I thought it was near five, and fought to get back to sleep. I finally got some decent sleep, and then was rudely interrupted by my alarm. I hate waking up at five.
Last night Mark got an infringement notice. He has to pay $185 for doing a fucking u-turn at a set of traffic lights. The cops pulled us over and I could see them walking so slowly around the car trying to pick him up for something else because Mark's a P plater. I hate cops and their prejudices. They pulled Mum over once and we think it was cause they thought she was a P plater because we have plate holders on our number plates and she looks really young, and they "had" to give her a ticket because high way patrol cars have videos that are constantly recording. He fined her for obstructing her number plate with the tow ball, which is bullshit because every which way you looked at it you could see the full number plate. Anyways, Mark did a u-turn at a set of traffic lights, which is apparently illegal. We didn't realise, and have done it countless times and seen others do it countless times. Apparently it's only legal to do a u-turn at a set of lights if there is a sign saying "u-turn permitted" and it is illegal all other times, however on some sets of lights there are also signs that say "no u-turn". So why does it make sense for it to be illegal unless specified otherwise? Isn't it always allowable unless it says it's not, not the other way around? It just makes no sense to me. It was my fault, that we did the u-turn, as I accidently left my phone at Mum's and as it's my alarm and contact to everyone, I kinda needed it. Although I didn't ask him to u-turn. But whatever, it's done now, and we're $185 in debt to the traffic authority. And the cop gave Mark a "caution" because he hadn't changed his address on his licence. If it were me that got pulled over, I would have just not said anything about not living at that address anymore, or that we've only just moved out and it's on the long list of things to do, or that we'd requested the label and it hadn't come yet, although they could probably prove us wrong on that one. Coming up with that much money isn't a problem for me, and I promised him I would pay half, seeing as it was my fault that we were fined. Oh, and Louise also got a fine a couple of weeks ago as well, for not turning her highbeams down while she was driving her boyfriend's car. Apparently the cops have gone on a rampage against P platers lately, I'm hearing the stories.
I added Jodi to my MSN, which amuses Mark to no end. At first he thought I was jealous, but now he realises that I'm totally cool with it. I added her to Facebook first, because I guess she's a friend. She came through my check out once, it was funny. Apparently she's really scared of me, scared of me not being ok with the fact that Mark is my boyfriend, but it's totally cool. I started talking to her on Facebook chat the other night, purely to tell her that Mark was engrossed with GTA4 and wouldn't be on MSN, and we started up a pretty good conversation. She asked me about uni, and how to apply, because she wants something more than to work in retail for the rest of her life. So we talked about that, and Mark didn't believe me because I said we weren't talking about him. So I told her she could add me to MSN, cause she left quickly because she had to put her kids to bed. I haven't talked to her on MSN yet. I'm thinking that Mark thinks that I might be cutting into his territory, that I need to be the centre of attention. I added her purely and simply because she had questions that I could be able to answer, and to show her that I'm not hostile and that I'm not about to snap at her. She is good looking, but I'm not attracted to her, I don't want to bed her. I mean if they asked for a threesome than I wouldn't decline, but I don't want her, and I definately don't want her just because "she's Mark's". I don't want to cut his grass, I'm just honestly being friendly.
I tend to write alot, and it's always all at once. I was going to blog earlier when I got home, but I wanted to do so many different things that I didn't know where to start, and kind of just ended up sitting on MSN chatting. Tomorrow isn't going to be like that though; tomorrow I'm going to get things done, hopefully, if I don't feel like shit.
I don't think I love Melissa anymore, which as Drena says, is an achievement in itself. After what happened with her blowing me off and all that I've really come to realise that I mustn't mean much to her at all, and if I do, than she has a nonexistant way of showing it. She never initiates conversation, but has always maintained that we are at least friends, but doesn't really treat me like that. I know she's having a hard time at the moment because her soulmate has just been shipped off overseas with the army for the better part of a year. I've had hard times that she has known about, because sometimes I choose to make my hard times public, and she's never really done much in the way of being there for me. She said once, when I complained that I had no close friends to listen to me rant, that they didnt' have to care, they just had to listen. Maybe that was all she did; listen, hear it, but not really care about it, whereas I always cared about her. Her Facebook status at the moment outlines how she is scared and how she wonders how she ended up there. I don't know where "there" is exactly, but any place that she's ended up at is of her own doing, so she has no one to blame. She moved away because she was sick of here, but as far as I know she's been quite miserable living with her mother, working crappy hours, studying her ass off for accreditation that she's chickened out of, and not really having that many friends up there to spend time with, not to mention having her soulmate shipped off, which, understandably, must be hard. I'm not being rude and saying that she has no right to be confused and upset and however she feels, I'm just stating that I don't really care anymore. She doesn't treat me like her friend, and I don't want to be her friend. I didn't want to love her, because I didn't 'get anything in return from her, not even friendship.
I'm waiting for Melissa to initiate a conversation with me, and I'll probably be waiting a while. She was on Facebook the whole time I was this afternoon, but not on MSN. I haven't seen her on MSN since that night she blew me off, and not since before we moved before that. Perhaps she doesn't realise that I wouldn't talk to her anyway if I did see her on MSN. I was thinking of writing her and telling her that I didn't love her anymore, but I figured that was unnecessary. She either would already know, or not care, or both, or she'd just realise it one day and it wouldn't phase her. Whichever, I don't mind. She's an awesome person and hard to not fall in love with, but I want someone who pays attention to me, who cares about me. I have that with Mark already, and maybe I'm being selfish in asking for it twice, but I believe there is a girl out there for me, one who is much more amazing than Melissa, and one that cares for me. I'm hoping to find out. My hopes are still there with Precious, but I have no expectations. That's a lesson I learnt the hard way.
I think I might go to bed now. I'm quite exhausted.