Change the World
I get into these moods quite a lot, although I couldn't define the way I feel. I honestly do feel like I want to change the world. Or my world at least. I guess maybe inspired would be the best descriptive, although I'm never sure what inspires me. What have I done this afternoon? Well I've just finished reading my Cosmo, I've played with Bub, I've been shopping, I've been on Facebook. Yea that's about it. Not too inspiring really.
These moods generally come at weird times. Like right now. It's ten to eight, I've just had dinner, and I'm waiting to hear back from Mark to find out what he's doing tonight. I'm sitting in my room with Louise, my 17 year old sister, who I share a room with. I'm careful not to do anything on the internet that would draw too much attention to myself, but it's not like I'm looking up lesbian porn or anything. Just so people know, I actually do do that sometimes (I'm sure you all wanted to know that) so I didn't just pull some random thing out of my head. I'm pretty sure Louise knows what sites I frequent and it wouldn't be that hard for her to find out where I've been, considering my computer does not have a personal password because that would interfere with the connection settings. It doesn't matter, I don't think she's all that interested in my internet habits anyway. She knows from just sitting in the same room with me, I'm always doing the same thing.
It's at these times and in these moods where I feel as if I could do anything, but I'm generally too lazy to get started. There are a fair few items on my to-do list, none of which I could finish if I started now. And I'm generally lacking motivation. I'll start something, stop half way through (to have a break, chat on MSN, check my Facebook, eat something, etc.) and won't pick it back up again later. I've done this many times, especially with cleaning my room, which is actually never clean. I think it gets more messed up every time I try to clean it. I've thought about not ever cleaning it again, but I really do need to, it's unbearable. I almost can't get to my bed.
So let's try to actually write a to-do list. Where to begin? This is the hardest part of all! Well I definitely need to clean my room, and I could be inspired to do that if it was earlier, Mark wasn't coming around soon, Louise was not here and if the rest of the house was clean so that the crap in my room might have somewhere to actually go. I've planned for a long time to sort things out, but my room just isn't that simple. I also want to sort out my music on the computer, and rearrange it so it's easily accessible when I feel the need to listen to a song I haven't listened to for a while. It does happen, more and more frequently these days. And since my iPod shit itself I haven't completely finished loading music onto it. I also want to, ok I'm being nagged to, put all the photos onto discs, just in case the computer crashes, which has also been known to happen. That means I have to go through and sort out the good ones from the stupid selfies and waste of time photos, and put ones from occasions onto separate discs as well so Mum can keep them somewhere special. I also have to really get cracking on my studies (tomorrow, I'm promising myself). I think that's it, apart from clean the house up, but I can't put a shed up myself so I need help with that one. There's also things like read a couple of books I've seen that I've liked, save some money, do my cross stitches, get my jewellery fixed, and yea that's all I can think of at the moment. Oh and get my drivers license because I'm really starting to need one of those.
My problem is getting started on these things. I have these great ideas in my head, but I'm never motivated to do anything. Some times I do get around to things eventually, like this blog for instance, but I don't stick with things for too long, examples of such are guitar lessons, piano lessons, violin lessons, singing lessons (which were actually too expensive), driving lessons, writing stories, eating healthy, the list honestly goes on and on.
I've tried to change, but the comforts of my computer, music, social networking sites, TV shows, and junk food are just too close most of the time. The only reason I did study while I was at uni was because there was nothing else to do, and it took a while to get used to being on a computer in a room full of other people on computers. I'm doing better these days though, I'm not sitting on my computer all day now, because I'm out doing other things. I really have gotten a life, friends, time to go out, a new Bub and all of that. I'm trying to change at the moment, trying to spend less time on the computer and more time doing things I love. I'll get myself figured out one day, and then I can act on these feelings of wanting to change my world.
Like right now, I want to write an amazing story, clean my room up totally, rearrange everything in my life, and just generally improve my quality of life. Maybe tomorrow, right now I'm too busy waiting to hear back from Mark and trying to figure out what I'll be doing for the rest of the night.
These moods generally come at weird times. Like right now. It's ten to eight, I've just had dinner, and I'm waiting to hear back from Mark to find out what he's doing tonight. I'm sitting in my room with Louise, my 17 year old sister, who I share a room with. I'm careful not to do anything on the internet that would draw too much attention to myself, but it's not like I'm looking up lesbian porn or anything. Just so people know, I actually do do that sometimes (I'm sure you all wanted to know that) so I didn't just pull some random thing out of my head. I'm pretty sure Louise knows what sites I frequent and it wouldn't be that hard for her to find out where I've been, considering my computer does not have a personal password because that would interfere with the connection settings. It doesn't matter, I don't think she's all that interested in my internet habits anyway. She knows from just sitting in the same room with me, I'm always doing the same thing.
It's at these times and in these moods where I feel as if I could do anything, but I'm generally too lazy to get started. There are a fair few items on my to-do list, none of which I could finish if I started now. And I'm generally lacking motivation. I'll start something, stop half way through (to have a break, chat on MSN, check my Facebook, eat something, etc.) and won't pick it back up again later. I've done this many times, especially with cleaning my room, which is actually never clean. I think it gets more messed up every time I try to clean it. I've thought about not ever cleaning it again, but I really do need to, it's unbearable. I almost can't get to my bed.
So let's try to actually write a to-do list. Where to begin? This is the hardest part of all! Well I definitely need to clean my room, and I could be inspired to do that if it was earlier, Mark wasn't coming around soon, Louise was not here and if the rest of the house was clean so that the crap in my room might have somewhere to actually go. I've planned for a long time to sort things out, but my room just isn't that simple. I also want to sort out my music on the computer, and rearrange it so it's easily accessible when I feel the need to listen to a song I haven't listened to for a while. It does happen, more and more frequently these days. And since my iPod shit itself I haven't completely finished loading music onto it. I also want to, ok I'm being nagged to, put all the photos onto discs, just in case the computer crashes, which has also been known to happen. That means I have to go through and sort out the good ones from the stupid selfies and waste of time photos, and put ones from occasions onto separate discs as well so Mum can keep them somewhere special. I also have to really get cracking on my studies (tomorrow, I'm promising myself). I think that's it, apart from clean the house up, but I can't put a shed up myself so I need help with that one. There's also things like read a couple of books I've seen that I've liked, save some money, do my cross stitches, get my jewellery fixed, and yea that's all I can think of at the moment. Oh and get my drivers license because I'm really starting to need one of those.
My problem is getting started on these things. I have these great ideas in my head, but I'm never motivated to do anything. Some times I do get around to things eventually, like this blog for instance, but I don't stick with things for too long, examples of such are guitar lessons, piano lessons, violin lessons, singing lessons (which were actually too expensive), driving lessons, writing stories, eating healthy, the list honestly goes on and on.
I've tried to change, but the comforts of my computer, music, social networking sites, TV shows, and junk food are just too close most of the time. The only reason I did study while I was at uni was because there was nothing else to do, and it took a while to get used to being on a computer in a room full of other people on computers. I'm doing better these days though, I'm not sitting on my computer all day now, because I'm out doing other things. I really have gotten a life, friends, time to go out, a new Bub and all of that. I'm trying to change at the moment, trying to spend less time on the computer and more time doing things I love. I'll get myself figured out one day, and then I can act on these feelings of wanting to change my world.
Like right now, I want to write an amazing story, clean my room up totally, rearrange everything in my life, and just generally improve my quality of life. Maybe tomorrow, right now I'm too busy waiting to hear back from Mark and trying to figure out what I'll be doing for the rest of the night.