the angles are all wrong now
Period pain sucks ass. I think yesterday is the first day where I've gone home sick from work because of it. I do this to myself though, I probably should be more regular, but it's just so convenient. I think I'll give it a try though, once a month, like the normal ladies. Not to mention I'm probably doing any number of unknown nasties to my fertility and the like, though I think it is perfectly safe to skip periods while on the pill. If I had a doctor I'd probably go and see if I can switch to another pill, or another birth control, because this one has overstayed its welcome. I switched from my first basic pill because I had no sex drive (little did I know that was Tom's fault, not the pill's), so I'll switch from this one to something else because of awful pain. I never had pain without the pill, though honestly, two days of excrutiating pain every three months is way, way better than never knowing when my period is going to arrive. I think I'll try it the normal way though, because I think the reason I get so much pain is because my body isn't used to this at all. Maybe if it gets used to it, it won't hurt.
The pain started on Sunday night, which is a first for me. Normally Monday morning, bang, wake up curling over. I took some painkillers on Sunday night, the ones I have that are designed for period pain. Took the edge off a little, I don't really remember. Yesterday I popped them like candy, for me, anyway. Usually I do as the directions say; take two at the first sign of pain or bleeding, then one every four to six hours after as required. Usually that's all I need. On Sunday I took two. Yesterday I took two, then another two, then another two, all within six hours of each other. They did nothing. I went and looked in the chemist, but they had nothing on the shelf (not even the brand I buy) and they were really busy and I was going to be late for work, so I didn't bother. I think the ones I get are among the strongest over-the-counter meds anyway, for targetted period pain relief. I told Lorelei as soon as I got to work that I was feeling shitty, and that I was planning on staying because there was nothing I could do to fix it, and I'd still feel shit at home, and that I wasn't going to be very nice. I'm never very nice at work these days anyway so there probably wasn't much different. I stuck it out until 7:30pm, where I just gave up and went home. Being home didn't make me feel better, but if given the choice, I'll take feeling like shit at home over feeling like shit at work anyday.
Work itself was crappy. I think Teresa is picking up on the fact that I don't like her. Basically I just completely ignore her. I dont' deal well with stupid people. She gets all my snide comments, but mostly just because she does things all backwards. Yesterday was a busy day. We had theft, with police and everything. We had the area manager for Siham's department in, and Siham is in charge of us, so it was all about us. Plus it was busy and we had our own stuff to do. It was a frustrating day for everyone, and I was already feeling shitty so I didn't take to it well. I didn't have any really stupid customers though so it's all ok. I took it upon myself to leave sick, but Gina had Jacob and it had quietened down so it was all ok.
I'm undecided if I want to go to the gym today. On one hand I am feeling ok now, but on the other, I'm feeling quite blah and lazy in general. We'll see what happens. I went on Sunday morning. I'm desperate not to break my routine of going twice a week. I dont' think I've lost any weight yet. My problem is I'm still eating junk food and drinking soft drink. I was going to shop and buy some more healthy stuff last night but going home sick doesn't lend to shopping.
I had two very strange dreams this morning. In my first I left work to take something to Jason's apartment. Jason is this kid at work, and he's cute, and has an awesome, out there personality, and he is so nice to everyone. I could easily crush on him. He's quite young though, younger than Bek. And he used to have bleach blonde hair. And I know that because he doesn't have a locker, so his phone and stuff goes in the drawer. He had a money clip with his licence in it, and in his licence he had bleach blonde hair. His hair now is brown. Anyway. I'm pretty sure what I had to take was a tin of cat food, a big one, unusually big. Weird. Anyway, I take it to his apartment, confident that I know which is his. I head to the fifth floor, and the fifth apartment on that floor and sneak in cause the door is already open. Not convinced that this is his apartment I sneak around through everything, through handbags and backpacks and drawers and everything. I dont' remember much of what I'm supposed to be looking for or feeling at this time, but a little while later a young (like 16 year old, this must be an apartment block for kids, and weirdly enough it reminds me of the hotel out of The Witches movie. Don't ask me where I pulled Dahl from?!). Anyway, they come in, I scream, they scream and somehow I talk my way out of being in their apartment and run. I've still got this tin of cat food though, so I try to guess Jason's apartment but can't, and end up slinking around going down stairs and trying to get out. These two kids have called reception though, and they won't let me out, and somehow I manage to talk my way out of getting arrested for breaking and entering. Probably something like "oh but the door was open anyway!" Then I woke up.
Rolled over, went back to sleep, and woke up in a reality where Bek was heavily pregnant. Someone else was with me, and we were sitting on handmade swings hanging from my uncle's roof (the one we don't talk to, don't talk about) that were hanging quite precariously. They were also not made of anything you would make a swing with, like decorated ceramic plates or something. I remember swinging on one and making it fall out of the roof. Oops. And then we were going to the hospital to visit Bek, who had just given birth. I think we travelled there in some weird way. When we got there I thought some obviously-looking six month old baby was Bek's new baby, but apparently that was one she popped out before, and I wasn't aware Bek had more than one (or any at all really!), and then there was the new baby, with really weird looking genitals (he was a boy, by the way, congratulations), and he was all mucky and bloody and looked like he had just been born, but Bek looked wonderful, not a hair out of place, no obvious signs that she had just given birth. And that was that. I woke up then.
Let's analyse? It is my opinion that dreams don't try to tell you anything at all, that you don't work things out while you sleep, at least not anything that you wake up going "I know the answer". I think dreams are just random firings. And it's weird for me to have dreams where anything makes sense, and none of that made sense. I dream about Jason because he was the last person I said bye to at work, and he's quite a cool kid. I dream about sneaking around because there are things I want to do but am not allowed to do. I dream about getting caught because I didn't want to get caught, and getting caught doing something you're not supposed to be doing is bad. I dream about babies because yesterday Mum texted me telling me that Gary's neice had her third baby. I've got no idea why Bek was the pregnant one, or why we were in my uncle's house swinging on random non-swings. That's the bit that doesn't make sense, the random firing bit at its most random. Honestly, who cares what dreams mean anyway?
I did a fair bit of study yesterday, though I'm still a little behind. Today I will catch up. I don't think I will go to the gym, I'm still feeling yuk, but the pain is on the verge of leaving. Tomorrow I will be all back to fine again. I don't get hormonal on my period. I get bitchy because I am in pain. I'll go to the gym on Friday (because I start at 1830 - ew), and Sunday again. I'll spend today on the lounge studying, before I go to my supervisors meeting, which will probably be boring.
I feel like baking something. And cooking. I need to buy some basic, cheap kitchen supplies. Saucepans, trays, mixing bowls. My saucepans are in storage, which Dave can't get out until he pays for this month (and Tubz never pays). I dont' have any flat trays anyway, and they're not expensive at all. My mixing bowls and the like are all still in Tamworth, and I miss them dearly. Dave is considering getting all his stuff out of storage and just putting it in Nash's garage. Then to get my stuff from Tamworth because I want it, all of it. Not to mention we need the fridge, because the old one Dave had died yesterday, and Nash's died before we moved in, so now three of us are surviving out of this little tiny bar fridge. I'm trying to think up ways to get mine down here, but it's not happening. We need a trailor or a ute or a truck and a whole day or two to do the trip, or a few hundred dollars to reimburse anyone that can help. Dave said Grandad could do it with his ute, but Grandad still isn't allowed to drive after his surgery. Maybe Gary or Stevie will do it, but I'm not going to ask, just wait and see if someone will offer. Gary has a trailor, or the fridge would fit in Stevie's car. But Sydney is a long drive from Tamworth, so I dont' expect anyone to do it out of the kindness of their hearts. I hope someone does though, like I'll pay them for it. Neither Dave or myself has the time or the means to go and get it and bring it down in the next few weeks, and we kind of need a fridge. Dave is thinking of renting one, but it seems silly to rent one for 18months when we could have mine down here in two months or so. Mine isn't very big anyway. I just had a thought though, I could buy one with the money in my other account (there is still about $1100) and I could get Mum to sell that other one I have (it's newish, used for less than a year, but small, and has a broken ice-cube tray (thanks so much Tom) so maybe I could get $500 for it, I paid $700) and Mum could just transfer me back the money, so maybe that would work. I'll call Mum today and talk to her.
The Alice in Wonderland soundtrack is mediocre. The All American Rejects song is shit, I'm so disappointed. None of the songs stand out as great songs actually. That sucks.
I have one cheese biscuit left and I dont' want to eat it! I can't put it back in the box just for one biscuit. That's just silly. I guess I will eat it after all.
I started reading The Lovely Bones, and oh my god, it's so sad. Thirty pages in and the tears were going, and it was a fight before that. Perhaps I'll skip the movie when it comes out on DVD. I'll easily cry all the way through!
I still need a hair cut, and haven't organised one yet. I'm thinking I might call around the places here and make an appointment tomorrow morning before work. Just a trim, nothing extreme. Oh and my fringe back so I can see. Dave is growing his hair now, back to what it was when he was like sixteen. He needs to shave his beard and then he'll be awesome hot. There's pictures of him on ID cards and stuff from that age, and he was such a sexy kid. He's still sexy, but he's grown up now. I like Dave with long hair.
I should probably go study now. And watch Stargate. Woot. The day is made.
8:53-9:53
[My dailybooth]