Today, on Why Must You Fail So Hard Theatre...
It's the Zexion abuse double-feature!
Now. Zexion. The youngest of the geek squad original six members of the Organization. The one whose weapon is a book. The one who is completely married to spends much of his time with Lexaeus, who can take care of the physical violence end of things and also get things off high shelves. The one whose response to Riku showing up and killing his wife husband nearest friend was, "I will mindfuck you and general destroy what lingering emotional health you may ever have had until you become so completely shattered that you kill yourself, because I can."
If he were somehow to end up as one partner in an abusive relationship, which role do you think is more likely: the emotionally abusive and hyper-controlling one, or the one who gets beat up and cries a lot?
Yeah, that's what I would have said, too.
Behold. Just...behold.
We have here an AU. The details of this AU are not specified, although it seems to be what high school AUs turn into once the characters are over twenty-five. At least, I think they're adults. Marluxia is driving, and there's no mention of school. It's difficult to tell, though, what with the EGREGIOUS CHARACTER RAPE.
So Marluxia is beating the living daylights out of Zexion because he...talked to Demyx? I really have no clue, what with the gratuitous "slut" and "whore" insults Evil!Abusive!Marluxia is throwing around. Maybe Zexion actually *was* giving Demyx a blowjob in the middle of the mall. Neither of the characters makes for what I would call a trustworthy narrator.
Let's pause for a bit and guess what Zexion is going to do next. Does he:
A)Fuck with Marluxia's head until he wishes he were dead;
B)Murder Marluxia and use his intellect to be sure he is never found out;
C)Call the police, and probably an ambulance as well since if blood is "spurting" from his mouth when Marluxia kicks him, the external wounds are probably the least of his worries;
D)Contact Lexaeus and have him take it from there;
E)Call Demyx and ask for healing sex;
F)Go to the bathroom and cut himself, because losing more blood is obviously a good plan?
If you answered A, B, C, or D, you are right and yet wrong. If you answered E, you are half wrong and half very wrong. If you answered F...you are wrong and yet right.
That's right. Because Zexion's response to what he recognizes in the story as a very, very bad relationship is to cut himself. And then call Demyx, saying nothing about the fact that he has only just bandaged his various cuts and really should go to the hospital before he dies of internal bleeding.
Why doesn't he leave faster than you can say "nine-one-one"? Apparently, most of the time Marluxia's always sweet and showers me in adoration and attention. Which he does in the story...for all of one paragraph before going back to acting like a hodgepodge of every bad boyfriend ever seen on Lifetime.
Pause again! After your controlling, violent boyfriend has said If you ever leave me I'll kill the person you leave me to be with, does it sound like a good idea to you to kiss someone else, someone who is "just a friend" but whom your first-person narration says you're in love with, in a room with said boyfriend, even if you think he's asleep? If you were, say, known for your suspicious, scheming mind, would you ever do this?
Zexion would.
Sadly, there isn't much more to say about this item, as that's the end of the most recent chapter. By 'sadly' I mean 'happily for my blood pressure'.
Of course, this just means we move on to our second feature.
This has just as much wrong with it, not least because Lexaeus is, once again, Sir-Not-Appearing-In-This-Film. However, Marluxia isn't the abuser this time, and there's no terrible Zemyx!
...Of course, that's because Xemnas is the abuser/rapist, and there's terrible one-sided Zexion/Marluxia with happyfluffy Marluxia/Vexen on the side. So it's not like that's much of an improvement.
I'm just going to skip the sadistic rape scene over entirely, because everyone will be happier that way. The only thing that really needs to be noted is: this story allegedly takes place in the canon universe. This means that pulling his weapon (which, at its least powerful, can be an excellent distraction) and/or teleporting the hell away are both options for dealing with Superior Badtouch here. Does Zexion avail himself of either of them? No. No, he does not.
Zexion wakes up in Marluxia's room. Not, for example, in one of the labs, where there are things like proper equipment for stitching his hand back together and sterile surfaces so he doesn't die of gangrene or something else nasty. Not even in his own bed, bed rest for the getting of. Because that? Would be logical. He wakes up to Marluxia (which makes sense only inasmuch as it would make even less sense if he woke up in Marluxia's bed without Marluxia anywhere nearby) and Vexen (which combines making sense, because he's the one most often saddled with the imaginary MD and would be on the short list of people to find if Zexion were badly injured anyway, and not making sense, because this is Marluxia's room, with Marluxia in it).
Time for the pause button. Imagine that you are Marluxia in this situation. You have just discovered that Xemnas's idea of fun is to brutally rape one of his more loyal followers. Your response is to:
A)Make sure everyone knows what the reward for loyalty around here is;
B)Convince Zexion that he should help you kill Xemnas and coincidentally take over;
C)Fight with Vexen and end up throwing at least him out of your room;
D)Tell Zexion to "Get well soon" and start making time with Vexen as soon as Zexion closes his eyes?
A, B, and C? Yes, and then again no. D? No, and then again yes.
Now imagine that you are Vexen. You have just had to stitch up your colleague, someone you worked with back when you both had hearts, someone you probably trust as much as you trust anyone. The responsible person is your boss. Your response is to:
A)Yell, scream, and possibly throw things, because you may not be able to feel fury but you've had a lot of practice at pretending;
B)Think to yourself that you could be next;
C)Find Xigbar, Xaldin, and Lexaeus, tell them what's happened, and let them handle the part where Xemnas ends up missing even more internal organs;
D)Yell at Marluxia, because at least that makes sense;
E)...Do nothing, because obviously your work here is done?
A, B, C, D? True and also false. E? False and also true.
It only gets worse from there, but it's late and I'm cranky, so I'll simply say that, if Vexen said to Zexion, “It’s purely psychological, the need, heart or not, to find someone after being traumatized in such a way over and over again. I can fully understand what's happening.", Zexion's response would fall under:
A)Yes, thank you, I know that, not being a moron.
B)I haven't died and made you the resident psychologist around here!
C)No, you can't. You can't, right?
NOT
D)God, Vexen, stop making it sound all logical and scientific!
...I'm going to end up sporking at least one of these, I just know it.
Now. Zexion. The youngest of the geek squad original six members of the Organization. The one whose weapon is a book. The one who is completely married to spends much of his time with Lexaeus, who can take care of the physical violence end of things and also get things off high shelves. The one whose response to Riku showing up and killing his wife husband nearest friend was, "I will mindfuck you and general destroy what lingering emotional health you may ever have had until you become so completely shattered that you kill yourself, because I can."
If he were somehow to end up as one partner in an abusive relationship, which role do you think is more likely: the emotionally abusive and hyper-controlling one, or the one who gets beat up and cries a lot?
Yeah, that's what I would have said, too.
Behold. Just...behold.
We have here an AU. The details of this AU are not specified, although it seems to be what high school AUs turn into once the characters are over twenty-five. At least, I think they're adults. Marluxia is driving, and there's no mention of school. It's difficult to tell, though, what with the EGREGIOUS CHARACTER RAPE.
So Marluxia is beating the living daylights out of Zexion because he...talked to Demyx? I really have no clue, what with the gratuitous "slut" and "whore" insults Evil!Abusive!Marluxia is throwing around. Maybe Zexion actually *was* giving Demyx a blowjob in the middle of the mall. Neither of the characters makes for what I would call a trustworthy narrator.
Let's pause for a bit and guess what Zexion is going to do next. Does he:
A)Fuck with Marluxia's head until he wishes he were dead;
B)Murder Marluxia and use his intellect to be sure he is never found out;
C)Call the police, and probably an ambulance as well since if blood is "spurting" from his mouth when Marluxia kicks him, the external wounds are probably the least of his worries;
D)Contact Lexaeus and have him take it from there;
E)Call Demyx and ask for healing sex;
F)Go to the bathroom and cut himself, because losing more blood is obviously a good plan?
If you answered A, B, C, or D, you are right and yet wrong. If you answered E, you are half wrong and half very wrong. If you answered F...you are wrong and yet right.
That's right. Because Zexion's response to what he recognizes in the story as a very, very bad relationship is to cut himself. And then call Demyx, saying nothing about the fact that he has only just bandaged his various cuts and really should go to the hospital before he dies of internal bleeding.
Why doesn't he leave faster than you can say "nine-one-one"? Apparently, most of the time Marluxia's always sweet and showers me in adoration and attention. Which he does in the story...for all of one paragraph before going back to acting like a hodgepodge of every bad boyfriend ever seen on Lifetime.
Pause again! After your controlling, violent boyfriend has said If you ever leave me I'll kill the person you leave me to be with, does it sound like a good idea to you to kiss someone else, someone who is "just a friend" but whom your first-person narration says you're in love with, in a room with said boyfriend, even if you think he's asleep? If you were, say, known for your suspicious, scheming mind, would you ever do this?
Zexion would.
Sadly, there isn't much more to say about this item, as that's the end of the most recent chapter. By 'sadly' I mean 'happily for my blood pressure'.
Of course, this just means we move on to our second feature.
This has just as much wrong with it, not least because Lexaeus is, once again, Sir-Not-Appearing-In-This-Film. However, Marluxia isn't the abuser this time, and there's no terrible Zemyx!
...Of course, that's because Xemnas is the abuser/rapist, and there's terrible one-sided Zexion/Marluxia with happyfluffy Marluxia/Vexen on the side. So it's not like that's much of an improvement.
I'm just going to skip the sadistic rape scene over entirely, because everyone will be happier that way. The only thing that really needs to be noted is: this story allegedly takes place in the canon universe. This means that pulling his weapon (which, at its least powerful, can be an excellent distraction) and/or teleporting the hell away are both options for dealing with Superior Badtouch here. Does Zexion avail himself of either of them? No. No, he does not.
Zexion wakes up in Marluxia's room. Not, for example, in one of the labs, where there are things like proper equipment for stitching his hand back together and sterile surfaces so he doesn't die of gangrene or something else nasty. Not even in his own bed, bed rest for the getting of. Because that? Would be logical. He wakes up to Marluxia (which makes sense only inasmuch as it would make even less sense if he woke up in Marluxia's bed without Marluxia anywhere nearby) and Vexen (which combines making sense, because he's the one most often saddled with the imaginary MD and would be on the short list of people to find if Zexion were badly injured anyway, and not making sense, because this is Marluxia's room, with Marluxia in it).
Time for the pause button. Imagine that you are Marluxia in this situation. You have just discovered that Xemnas's idea of fun is to brutally rape one of his more loyal followers. Your response is to:
A)Make sure everyone knows what the reward for loyalty around here is;
B)Convince Zexion that he should help you kill Xemnas and coincidentally take over;
C)Fight with Vexen and end up throwing at least him out of your room;
D)Tell Zexion to "Get well soon" and start making time with Vexen as soon as Zexion closes his eyes?
A, B, and C? Yes, and then again no. D? No, and then again yes.
Now imagine that you are Vexen. You have just had to stitch up your colleague, someone you worked with back when you both had hearts, someone you probably trust as much as you trust anyone. The responsible person is your boss. Your response is to:
A)Yell, scream, and possibly throw things, because you may not be able to feel fury but you've had a lot of practice at pretending;
B)Think to yourself that you could be next;
C)Find Xigbar, Xaldin, and Lexaeus, tell them what's happened, and let them handle the part where Xemnas ends up missing even more internal organs;
D)Yell at Marluxia, because at least that makes sense;
E)...Do nothing, because obviously your work here is done?
A, B, C, D? True and also false. E? False and also true.
It only gets worse from there, but it's late and I'm cranky, so I'll simply say that, if Vexen said to Zexion, “It’s purely psychological, the need, heart or not, to find someone after being traumatized in such a way over and over again. I can fully understand what's happening.", Zexion's response would fall under:
A)Yes, thank you, I know that, not being a moron.
B)I haven't died and made you the resident psychologist around here!
C)No, you can't. You can't, right?
NOT
D)God, Vexen, stop making it sound all logical and scientific!
...I'm going to end up sporking at least one of these, I just know it.