(no subject)
Look, when someone says something, the first word of the quote is capitalized. When someone new says something, you begin a new paragraph. Quotation marks should never be back to back. Ever. And please split the fic into paragraphs. Gigantic bricks of text makes me dizzy, gives me headaches, and is almost guarunteed to make people skim over most of it 'cause they can't keep reading the entire thing.
Also, why are ukes almost always described as "small?" Repeat after me: Demyx is NOT small. Neither is KH2 Sora. Or Cloud. Or Roxas. Jiminy Cricket is small. Most of the aforementioned people aren't particularly "delicate" either. And, no, Axel is NOT delicate. Being skinny doesn't mean you're weak and pathetic because, y'know, wiry people exist. My friend is really skinny, but she can drag me around the room and her kicks freakin' hurt.
So, paragraph correctly and don't make ukes pathetic little mice. Got it memorized? Commit it to memory. Comprehende?
Also, why are ukes almost always described as "small?" Repeat after me: Demyx is NOT small. Neither is KH2 Sora. Or Cloud. Or Roxas. Jiminy Cricket is small. Most of the aforementioned people aren't particularly "delicate" either. And, no, Axel is NOT delicate. Being skinny doesn't mean you're weak and pathetic because, y'know, wiry people exist. My friend is really skinny, but she can drag me around the room and her kicks freakin' hurt.
So, paragraph correctly and don't make ukes pathetic little mice. Got it memorized? Commit it to memory. Comprehende?