A Resoultion Come Near....
Well this week has been interesting so far. I want to first say Happy Holidays to all. I’ve had a tough couple of days but that’s nothing new. I didn’t know the weather was going to be so terrible yesterday I end up falling in the middle of the street in a sheet of ice, with a car coming straight towards me. I rush to get up so I wouldn’t get hit and the lady stopped and asked if I was ok. I was so scared but I was happy that adrenaline was on my side that moment. I swear if I would have froze the car would have hit me. My hand was pretty messed up and the worst part was the night before I was in the hospital because of I was worried about something that happened on Monday. Surprisingly the doctors were kind of insensitive to me and dismissed me after they gave me a bag of medicine through an iv. I HATE IV’s. The last time I was in the hospital I think the nurse did something wrong because my arm hurt the whole time and I passed out in shock of it all. I told the doctor that and she looked at me like I was crazy! I wanted to leave after that but they wouldn’t let me. I fell on the same arm where I had blood taken from me at the hospital and it was basically no good after that for the rest of the day. I am literally falling apart at work. Making crazy mistakes that I never done before and I’m just speechless because I just don’t know how I’m making these mistakes. I know I’m going to lose any opportunity for the new position. I’ve tried so hard and I’m going to lose everything I worked for because of these mistakes. You know… I realized that I made a mistake working for the bank. I know I learned a lot but this is a mistake. I never felt more useless and inhuman before. No matter how much time and effort you put into making something out of yourself. Everything will be thrown away by the simplest mistake. I had to fight for a few days off that I was entitled to yet management gets all the time they need, come in and go whenever they please and we work like dogs. They are so quick to dispose us without a single afterthought. Goodness… I know I need to find something, anything, soon. I know if I can just finish this book it would solidify that I am a writer, and my career can finally start moving in that direction. I never been so focused in change. I have to be focused. If I can just hang on to this job, despite my wounded pride and soon to be demotion then I’ll be okay. I have to believe and have hope.