For every day that I should have you by my side..
This weekend, I got into two mildly serious (lol) INTERNET ARGUMENTS (neither of which were with Val fyi) and successfully held my own, felt that I made valid points and remained pretty mature during both. For that, I'm a bit proud of myself.
With the first one, I may have lost a friend and quite nearly lost another due to extreme disappointment and offense taken at what was said. I may be settling into routine in my life and getting to a point where I'm finding out where I really am, but basically, do not accuse the person I love of not knowing who she is when she is three years your senior and a great deal wiser. However, the friend I nearly lost is someone that I know to be a great person when not influenced by a particular other, and for that reason I am paying forward the forgiveness that has time after time been granted to me when I've messed up. So to whom it may concern, I still love you. We said we'd try to change together, and I still want us to do that. I hope you include this as part of what you want to change, because I know you're better than this. And I'm glad we still have our friendship. ♥
I never intended to really hurt those involved, I had hopes only to make them understand what watching their actions was like for everyone else. Even though I hang out in places like Den of Demons and Cosplayfucks (well, not the forums anymore but whatever) where snarkiness and criticism are often encouraged, I don't think that intense and constant rudeness and cruelty to other people is a great way to deal with your problems, and I think you guys would agree. I know life is ass sometimes, but there are more constructive ways to deal with it. Time will heal almost all the wounds of an individual, but repairing trust and friendships are more difficult.
LOL, DOLL FORUM. Jesus christ. Also I'm babbling and probably don't really know what I'm talking about, but whatever. Cocks.
Sooooo in other news, today I was a lazy ass which was nice. Watched the Puppy Bowl and missed Cody like crazy. ._. Then ate a lot of Dominos that our suite ordered, and.. well, I was in the same room as a TV with the Superbowl on it, does that count? Ah well.
So yeah. I.. am ineffably thrilled at how proud Val is of me already. I need to be in better contact with Mom so she knows more about how well I'm doing. Honestly? I'm proud of myself for once. It's such a new and foreign concept to me, to actually be proud of how I'm doing. It's only been a week but Val said she can already seen me changing, and I'm so glad. I'm so much happier, I'm being more social, I'm doing better in classes, and I've never been so in love. I really just.. I love her so much. She makes me smile like no other, and I can't wait to be with her again this weekend.
I can't believe that a positive attitude and a little bit of determination was all that I needed all along.
Basically all of February is going to be amazing:
This weekend is:
- seeing my baby
- meeting her new parrotlet, Kiku
- getting to see a ton of other really cool people that I like.
The following weekend is:
- Katsucon, which includes:
--- seeing my home animu friends
--- seeing my con friends
--- AND seeing Allie, Erica and Katze.
- Also finally picking up the doll I've been paying off little by little since October.
The following weekend is:
- New York ComicCon
- being home for a little and seeing mommy (and dad maybe if he's not travelling *A*) and kitties
- picking up my Cody-tribute-doll from home, where he's being delivered (I really did not plan on the whole week apart thing but it worked out that way.. it's a bit of a crisis. no more for a LONG TIME, I swear.)
- and hopefully visiting the New York Hamster House (a cute hamster rescue place) and adopting a hamham like Huey! Definitely renaming whoever I end up with as Teaspoon, though.
So basically, amazing.
Alright. Bring it on, Week 2! ♥
With the first one, I may have lost a friend and quite nearly lost another due to extreme disappointment and offense taken at what was said. I may be settling into routine in my life and getting to a point where I'm finding out where I really am, but basically, do not accuse the person I love of not knowing who she is when she is three years your senior and a great deal wiser. However, the friend I nearly lost is someone that I know to be a great person when not influenced by a particular other, and for that reason I am paying forward the forgiveness that has time after time been granted to me when I've messed up. So to whom it may concern, I still love you. We said we'd try to change together, and I still want us to do that. I hope you include this as part of what you want to change, because I know you're better than this. And I'm glad we still have our friendship. ♥
I never intended to really hurt those involved, I had hopes only to make them understand what watching their actions was like for everyone else. Even though I hang out in places like Den of Demons and Cosplayfucks (well, not the forums anymore but whatever) where snarkiness and criticism are often encouraged, I don't think that intense and constant rudeness and cruelty to other people is a great way to deal with your problems, and I think you guys would agree. I know life is ass sometimes, but there are more constructive ways to deal with it. Time will heal almost all the wounds of an individual, but repairing trust and friendships are more difficult.
LOL, DOLL FORUM. Jesus christ. Also I'm babbling and probably don't really know what I'm talking about, but whatever. Cocks.
Sooooo in other news, today I was a lazy ass which was nice. Watched the Puppy Bowl and missed Cody like crazy. ._. Then ate a lot of Dominos that our suite ordered, and.. well, I was in the same room as a TV with the Superbowl on it, does that count? Ah well.
So yeah. I.. am ineffably thrilled at how proud Val is of me already. I need to be in better contact with Mom so she knows more about how well I'm doing. Honestly? I'm proud of myself for once. It's such a new and foreign concept to me, to actually be proud of how I'm doing. It's only been a week but Val said she can already seen me changing, and I'm so glad. I'm so much happier, I'm being more social, I'm doing better in classes, and I've never been so in love. I really just.. I love her so much. She makes me smile like no other, and I can't wait to be with her again this weekend.
I can't believe that a positive attitude and a little bit of determination was all that I needed all along.
Basically all of February is going to be amazing:
This weekend is:
- seeing my baby
- meeting her new parrotlet, Kiku
- getting to see a ton of other really cool people that I like.
The following weekend is:
- Katsucon, which includes:
--- seeing my home animu friends
--- seeing my con friends
--- AND seeing Allie, Erica and Katze.
- Also finally picking up the doll I've been paying off little by little since October.
The following weekend is:
- New York ComicCon
- being home for a little and seeing mommy (and dad maybe if he's not travelling *A*) and kitties
- picking up my Cody-tribute-doll from home, where he's being delivered (I really did not plan on the whole week apart thing but it worked out that way.. it's a bit of a crisis. no more for a LONG TIME, I swear.)
- and hopefully visiting the New York Hamster House (a cute hamster rescue place) and adopting a hamham like Huey! Definitely renaming whoever I end up with as Teaspoon, though.
So basically, amazing.
Alright. Bring it on, Week 2! ♥