Comments | intj: Type Interactions #6: INTJ-ESTJ [archived]

m_danson in intj

Type Interactions #6: INTJ-ESTJ [archived]

Feb 12, 2007 09:17

While it is wonderful to sit around and discuss how amazing we INTJs are, there are other types in the world and we generally have to deal with them more than with fellow INTJs. As a result I will be making weekly posts about how INTJs interact with others to get feedback on the experiences we INTJs have had with other types and how we've learned ( Read more... )

interactions, sj, estj

Comments 15

wulfmadchen February 12 2007, 16:37:02 UTC

My dad is an ESTJ. Or main point of contention between us is that, like you mentioned, even abstract things like social comportment, justice, or the right way to paint a wall are very concrete matters to him. There is usually a single, correct way to do just about everything. I've found that the best way to talk to him in those situations is to come armed with specific examples of people (preferably people he knows) who have done things the way I want to do them and made it work. "It works" is a language that we share.

This is strange to me, because he's a criminal investigator by profession, and the job involves no small amount of reliance upon instinct (once we went to Hobby Lobby together and he made a game of predicting which bolt of fabric in a given aisle I would put my hands on first. He was right every time). His experience of that is that he's putting together information that he's gathered from concrete experience over the course of his career to come to a conclusion.

1 data point.. pt 1. tricstmr February 12 2007, 17:51:30 UTC

Although i would think that I should know al ot more ESTJ's... seeing that they should b fairly common in the populace.. I actually only know one confirmed ESTJ..

J the ESTJ. I met J at our local club about 5 years ago. He seemed out of place then.. like he was a frat boy visiting the local goth club. In some ways, that impression was very accurate even if I now have a lot more data to fill in the details. J is a musician--a drummer--who never finished high school but did get his GED to my knowledge. He has worked various jobs in the real world to keep himself afloat. Currently, he has been a manager at a call center for the past couple of years. Slowly working his way up. J is somewhat OCD... although I'm sure this impression is heightened by his personality type. I easily guessed his type (before I confirmed it with him years later) because he fits the description so well. Things just are a certain way for J.. and it takes forever for him to come to accept that they could possibly be another way. J, at heart, wants to be ( ... )

Re: 1 data point.. pt 1. m_danson February 12 2007, 18:08:47 UTC

"I have received socially recognized certifications, thus I must be smarter."

Bingo!

"when something catastrophic happens in his world and he is thrown into his own emotional core, he becomes a total wreck"

Tringo!

"What's interesting on this score is that he's now going out with an INFP 12 years his junior (he's 36)... and when she has emotional blow ups--which she is prone to do on a fairly regular basis.. he's completely at a loss... This experience will either help him grow.. or it will burn him out entirely within the next couple of months.."

That could be messy.

Yeah it could.... tricstmr February 13 2007, 14:52:37 UTC

and something else that just clicked in my brain last night as I was sitting in front of a fire (in the fireplace) reflecting... is that J seriously has a problem with creativity. I have heard him state categorically that everything that can be done, has already been done before and there is no possibility for anybody to be novel anymore. Specifically, he was referring to music in terms of these statements ( ... )

1 data point pt. 2 tricstmr February 12 2007, 17:51:45 UTC

On to the questions ( ... )

quitemercurial February 12 2007, 18:13:15 UTC

The only confirmed ESTJ I have in my life is my mother, so this is all personal ( ... )

::Adds:: quitemercurial March 19 2007, 19:50:51 UTC

I've since found out that my boss, Pascal, is also an ESTJ ( ... )

Re: ::Adds:: quitemercurial March 19 2007, 19:51:10 UTC

But, I can say he appears very "normal" to me. He's an avid businessman, he loves cars (especially fast, expensive European cars-oh, not that this means much, but he is actually from Paris), he likes to exercise, he likes socializing, he keeps up with the news, he gossips about celebrities, he indulges in sharing random trivia, he makes jokes, and this could go on for a while. He's pretty much a "normal" man, I'd say ( ... )

jeroentiggelman February 12 2007, 19:57:25 UTC

Work (guessed). Creates models for everything from past experience. Agrees there are many other possible models, but this is the one we work with now. Tries to stop discussion about that, as it gets no work done. Overall, actually seems to have quite a positive influence in so doing, though I am (so to speak) learning a lot in trying to relate.