Type Interactions #6: INTJ-ESTJ [archived]
While it is wonderful to sit around and discuss how amazing we INTJs are, there are other types in the world and we generally have to deal with them more than with fellow INTJs. As a result I will be making weekly posts about how INTJs interact with others to get feedback on the experiences we INTJs have had with other types and how we've learned
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Dealing effectively: In a very real way, the most effective way I've found to deal with J the ESTJ is to "dom" him. I tell him this is what we are doing, these are the reasons why, and that's that. if he doesn't like it, then he can go do whatever he wants... He has come to realize that I'm usually right, so he doesn't now put up that much of a fight.. but for a long time, he tried to "dom" me.. and I know he got frustrated that I would just refuse to go along no matter what he said... and when I turned out to be right, then he would shut up..
Problem areas: The control issue and the seeming belief that "normal societal standards/views" on things are obviously correct, because, you know, why else would people do it that way.. These attitudes can drive me to rage faster than anything else and I've had to open up the can of "MASSIVE INTJ INTELLECTUAL WHUPP-ASS!" and go on a policy of scorched earth argumentation on multiple occasions just to get fairly minor, yet critical points about life and behavior across. Whether this is necessary for all ESTJ's is unknown to me do to my limited experience.
Worthwhile? This is somewhat questionable in my view.. the jury is still out on whether I will, in the end, find this relationship worthwhile. There are definitely good parts.. but the bigger problem is when J the ESTJ gets into one of his "controlling fits" around my ESFP partner (They're in a bad together--which they started together) and really pisses her off and makes her unhappy. he tends to do this when I'm not around since if I am around i will open the aforementioned INTJ whupp-ass onto him.. time will tell here..
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